Selfish parents who don't believe in learning disorders.

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Hi y'all. Thank you for clicking on my link, I hope this doesn't come across as the whining of a 30-year old.
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First, a little context. I live with my parents currently. I moved back in after I lost my job and was unable to get a new one in January 2023. I was unable to seek employment due to an extended period of autistic burnout that rendered me unable to function properly. I spent most of 2023 in my apartment, which had an infestation of bed bugs that spread from another place in the building. The landlord called an exterminator once, but when he never showed, refused to call again. So I moved out and back in with my parents in August 2023 and have spent a year here.

The bedbugs followed me. The first 6 months were fine, then I asked my parents if they could get me a camping cot or something to sleep on. The house is located on a concrete slab without a basement, and it was murder on my back. However, despite having previously told me they would buy me a new one, they balked at the price and just had me use the one from my old apartment, under the reasoning that a year had passed, so surely it was clean. It was not clean.

Now, my parents complain about it. I should mention, the only room infested is my bedroom, it has not spread from there. My parents treat me like I'm unclean and told me to report to them if I find any more bugs. They vacuumed the floor the first time, took all of my clothes, bedding, and furniture out of the room, told me to make sure it was clean. They did not, however, move the furniture they had been storing in my room, namely a set of storage shelves, a dresser, an old entertainment center, and a closet literally stuffed to the brim with spare linens. I pointed out that the closet was prime real estate for bugs, but was shushed.

A few days later, I found more bugs. My parents were angry and directed it at me, made me wash my clothes and linens again, took out the shelves and dresser, and vacuumed again. Once again, they didn't touch the bigger furniture and the closet, but dumped all of my stuff outside. I spent the rest of the day thoroughly checking my stuff for bugs, but I'm not sure where I'm supposed to store my stuff since my room is still infested. I told them this, and they agreed that there are probably still bedbugs.

Later that night, I found and killed another bedbug, this one was on a shirt that was in the closet. As previously instructed, I told my parents, and they directly asked me why I was looking for trouble, and to just "stay away from the closet". It's been a few days since then, and I've been sleeping on the couch in freshly laundered linens. They had previously told me when this all started that I could use the couch if I was getting bit.

Woke up today, and mom was complaining that I keep dirtying the couch with my unclean linens. I pointed out that my stuff was freshly cleaned, and she suggested I sleep on the floor in the infested room. My dad also jokingly suggested using me as bait to draw out the hidden bugs. They still have not cleaned the closet, and it seems like a low-priority to them because the bugs haven't spread, despite my own discomfort and being constantly bitten.

Add to this that they have actively refused to use my chosen gender and name, with the argument that it's "unfair" of me to expect them to change, and that they chose my name so I have to live with it. They make fun of me for wearing makeup, and for my chest having not grown in yet despite hormone treatment (a sore point for me). I have considered unaliving myself multiple times due to this. And they keep offering me things but don't want me to accept their offers. They just want to feel good by offering charity, without the responsibility of actually parting with their money.

Oh, and as a cherry on the cake, they've started bullying me for being unable to take care of myself and get a job. I'm at my wits end!
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Thanks for listening to my rant, sometimes I just need to get it out in typing, and I don't want my social network to get overwhelmed by me, there are plenty of other autistic people and people suffering from disorders in my group.

Wow, I don't know what to say. Thats a really f**ked up situation. I am sorry to hear you are going through that. Unfortunately what you are experiencing is not all that uncommon in our community (autistic people) a friend of mine has been going through a similar situation with her family. My friend's parents treat her like a child because of her lack of independence as a woman in her late 20's. This is really uncalled for and dehumanizing, just because someone is disabled doesn't mean you are allowed to treat them as a lesser human being.

I hope things get better for you,

Canadian Freedom Lover

Get a fumigation bomb from the hardware store.
You might want to leave the room airing afterwards for a few days before sleeping in it.

Please don't kill yourself, and don't sugarcoat it with that damn term "unalive."

People who survive jumping off bridges all say their first thought was "that was a mistake."

You are 30. This won't be your life forever.

Put it from their perspective - it sounds very frustrating for them. However, they should respect your decisions about your identity and that is not good.

As someone who doesn't talk to my father, remember this: reflect deeply on the things you hate about your parents because all too often we have similar flaws. My older brother and father don't talk but its because they are both raging narcissists. The thing my brother hates in my dad is also his fault.

They are giving you shelter and you brought bed bugs. That'd piss me off too.

Here is my take on getting up off your feet. I've been to the point of suicide as well when I was about 24. I had a college degree and was delivering pizzas.

But, what saved me was the delivering pizzas. Just do something productive in life. You are never in the wrong if you work at least a little bit somewhere. It will make you feel better. If you can't work, then try to get on disability.