Moving - The Change is Overwhelming Me

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Sorry, long post ahead. I'm so bad at being concise.

tl;dr version: Does anyone else here have experience with a far away move where you had spent so many years at and coping with how incredibly difficult the feeling of the huge change is?

I've talked about the move since I first joined here. I'm moving from Southern US to New England (NE US). This is a move out of necessity with the way that politics are and also the climate (climate change has taken away much of any semblance of four seasons, and it's just too hot for me down here, now. All of that makes me depressed and miserable).

So this is exciting! However, no matter what, it is a BIG move. I have lived down here for my entire life up until now - 35 years. and all but two of those years I have lived in my childhood home. So the city, the town, the stores and restaurants that I go to, the roads that we drive down, my friends, a lot of my family, my stable job, my own secure home of a very long time - all of that is going away. Not just that, but I'm going a long way away.

This is a change in my life that is so large, perhaps by far THE biggest change I have ever experienced. Naturally, I'm not good with change. I mean, when I left my college apartment and town that I was only at for two years, I was an emotional wreck. Every single job I have left, I have been an emotional wreck, even when that job was miserable (untreated arthritis + a retail job was enough to make me have suicidal thoughts, and yet... when I left that job, tears. Lots of tears). I get intensely sentimental about much smaller things, too, and just don't do well with change at all, throughout all of these years.

I am going through a tough time right now. The day I gave my workplace my two weeks notice, I was crying hysterically the entire shift. They could only calm me down by telling me that I am free to rescind it during the two weeks. But that's just pushing it off (unless I do decide not to move right now).

Yesterday my mom and I had a girls' day out shopping. As we went traveled down every road, visited every place, and went to the mall, I just couldn't stop thinking "This is the last time I'll see these places. Places that have ALWAYS been there for me, that I'm so used to, that I never could imagine not being right there to go to".

On top of being overwhelmed, in grief and all of that, I'm experiencing self-doubt. "Should I really do this?" I've been so certain up until now, but once we came down to the final stretch, with the date set, when I gave my two weeks notice, I was devastated. It's not just grief, it's uncertainty. While I have some personal qualms with the subject matter of my workplace, my workplace is almost perfect for me otherwise. I'm competent at it, my coworkers are pleasant to me (for one thing they DON'T harass me for my eating habits - that I eat the same things every day and how I eat them - like people at previous jobs have). I have a good thing here, and I know it. The subject matter of the job can be rather difficult for me to manage, though. Still, I don't actually have a job lined up in New England. I am stepping into the dark. I went through their disability job services, but was told I can't be helped UNTIL I am IN my new state. It's understandable and all, but with my specific conditions, finding a new job is difficult, so I'm stepping out into stark uncertainty. I look at job listings looking to maybe apply now anyway and I'm freaking out, I'm not qualified for all but a few and it can take a long time for a job to even consider me. And I'm terrified of interviewing, the interview at my current job was so easy. I wish I could take the job with me until I find something else. D:

Anyway, the move also includes leaving my mom and family dog for a hopefully small time, but that time is based on how quickly I can find a job and all of that. I'm very close to my mom and the family dog is older, so it's going to be rough even if it only lasts like a month.

There's a lot of stress here. I know I have a lot of specific circumstances contributing to this that many have not had, but I am curious if anyone has experienced a big move after a long time living in a place and how to cope with the grief, anxiety, etc of such a big change?

Wow, I'm sorry you're going through such a time of transition.
I can imagine how emotional you must feel.

Are you moving by yourself to live by yourself?
If things don't work out can you move back?

Sending you good vibes and best wishes at this overwhelming time.

Thanks! BTW, I have to tell you that I love Les Miserables and have for nearly two decades now! It's my favorite musical!

The move is complicated, is happening in phases. The first phase is in a couple of weeks, where my dad and I are driving over in a trailer (yeah...) and when I have a stable job, I will then have an in-state income to start applying for apartments. When I get the apartment, it will be me solo.

My dad definitely would like to move up, but my mom hasn't seen the state yet. They're going to both come back up after I'm settled. I'm crossing my fingers that all of this process can go quickly. Otherwise, there's going to be a long amount of time where I don't even see my mom, or the dog at home. That breaks my heart.

I've scarcely ever lived alone. Never been independent enough. This is a huge step for me.

I understand the anxiety and the grief. It is a big step and a big move. But maybe you can try to think of it as a positive and turn your anxiety toward excitement and anticipation and away from dread and fear? (As an example, though a much smaller issue: I get anxious when I fly, especially the take off when the plane's engines are building up, so to combat that anxiety I make myself pumped up about the excitement of takeoff and I think "yeah, let's go, we're going!")

Also, I've lived in New England and I loved it. It's pretty, and cozy, with a lot of old architecture and homes, and nice old trees. It's nice that the seasons change so markedly there, and the fall is especially nice. Maybe it would help to think of the things you will like about being there.

Best wishes to you!

I officially had my last two weeks at work and my last day was today.

I am devastated. I know some aspects of the job were not ideal for me. But many, many others were. That job was the only one that called me out of many, many, many I applied for. The interview was hardly anything, the boss hired me right on the spot after I told her about my dedication to attendance and being on time every single day. The job proved to be one I could be very competent at, and most aspects of it were relaxing. I got to work alone at a desk, most days were routine, and I got to listen to music, podcasts, audiobooks, YouTube videos, etc. while working. It was a stable job.

I do not have a job lined up in my new state. No one is calling me back, not even for jobs I KNOW I'm qualified for. This whole situation is super stressful, on top of the mourning of everything I'm losing. As I said, it took many, many, many applications to get anyone to call me back before. At least last time I didn't have office job experience, now I do. I'm so scared if anyone will call me anytime soon, I'm so scared about the interview process. As I said, in my last job it turned out being a relaxed interview. I doubt those are common at all. Why do we have to do this whole super stressful song and dance just to make MONEY which we need to LIVE? Having the opportunity to work to make money we need to live should not be such a stressful, complicated process. Every job I get quickly learns that I am hard worker and was worth hiring. So, please, just give me a chance.

I can not even express how much I flipping hate the politicians in my state for taking away freedoms and rights, making me have to leave my home, leave all of this, make me go through the job search all over again.

Also, after being there for over a couple of years, you get kinda attached to it. It's hard to describe. So there's a combination of grief and fear here in my total feelings.

I know I HAVE to do this move. I just wish it wasn't so. I wish it all could have been different than this. I don't like change. I don't like goodbyes. I'm super sentimental about everything. All of the goodbyes I have said have broken my heart so much, and there are still more goodbyes yet to say.

I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult emotional time.

As you yourself know, you are qualified and a good worker, so a job will come along for you. Just hang in there!

Oh no, Harmonie, that sounds so incredibly stressful. I'm sorry to hear you are dealing with such a tough move--and I am also sorry and sympathetic to hear your reasonings for having to move ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ . I feel so much dread and hopelessness thinking about the amount of rights being stolen from women by the despicable, out of touch people in charge ... It is disgusting.

I'll bet it was hard to leave a place you spent so much time at! Its valid to grieve for the parts you did enjoy about your work being lost. Hopefully this fresh start goes well for you... I wish you the best of luck in your move