in limbo
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slept fine last night. breakfast. (2 minute bowel movement). chores. (2.5 hour nap). (25 minute bowel movement). took bus to library. (10 minute bowel movement). food maxx.
exhausted and s**t.
my current "job" is just part time and minimum wage, and has been cutting my hours lately. now, i'm afraid that if the doctor refuses to fill out the form, or fills out the form the wrong way, or whatever, then home depot might make my worthless corpse redundant. s**t. feel so lost, confused, scared, pathetic, embarrassed, ashamed.
seriously regretting dismal academic performance.
emotional overeating. do not know if i should just "give in" to emotional overeating, b/c, with my already underemployed dumpsterfire "job" almost finished/gone, and my worthless corpse 41 and pretty old already. getting fat and broke, inevitable. but WTF ever. 41, middle aged. good enough.
too tired to apply for other jobs.
emailed the doctor, the form, yesterday. scheduled an appointment. no answer thus far.