Is it just me....I feel left behind?

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Hi
I have been going through a rut ever since I graduated college since I have been unemployed for the past 7 to 8 years.I know I have posted about my job search difficulties but this really a vent thread for me where I am trying to get emotional support from yall. My mom suggested that I take a job at a home improvement retailer where I would make 15 dollars per hour tops or work at a grocery store where I would make maybe 10-15 dollars per hour part-time.I am not trying to be lazy but I dont really see the point of working when making 10-15 dollars per hour is not a living wage.

I guess it would be good because I could meet people and be busy but still I think I deserve to be paid a living wage if I work.I only permitted to make about 18,000 a year legally because of the needs-based testing and we all know that 300 dollars a week cant cut it....not even close.I went to college for a long time and my degree has not helped me get a living wage at all.I feel like I am still a kid and a teenager...I sleep in the same room I did when I was 3.And on top of that the vast majority of people like us are not in good jobs.I was a straight A student in high school and college and I have gone nowhere in life.I just wish education was still rewarded handsomely like the old days but now with degree saturation its gone for good.

I want to work full-time but thats out of the question because of the 2,000 dollar rule and I have at least 100,000 dollars per year in medical bills. Its not like I can go back to college because I need modifications and nobody will help me in college and I am not good at abstract math. I was going to be a engineer but I just could not do the algebra calculus and trig and differential equations.I just never had good math teachers in algebra.My first math teacher where it clicked so to speak was senior year but that was more every-day math not the stuff you need for engineering.

I feel like my whole life trajectory could of been different if I would have had good math teachers. I see my friends from high school getting married and having kids but that may never happen for me so that breaks my heart. I will most likely never be able to fulfil my dream of being a bishop in the church of Christ because I will be unmarried with no kids.I am just tired of being isolated with nothing to do the vast majority of the time.I cant go out much because all recreation where I live involves spending money and I make very little every month in social security disability so I need to stay investing in the stock market for retirement.

All is not lost though.There is some hope on the horizon so to speak.My dad has offered to help me get the credentials I need to pursue a career in the financial services industry.I think being a finance professional has lots of potential because it could help me get a living wage and its one of my passions and I know a lot about it.I am just think its really sad because I remember one time in school we had a substitute teacher and the class treated the sub bad by not behaving.

I remember when the teacher made it back to class she was so mad and she told us that we better take school seriously make good grades go to college and get a 4 year degree or you will be stuck working the drive thru at McDonald's for the rest of your life.I really took that to heart but so many of us millennials and gen z were stuck in dead-end jobs for our careers even though we went to college and got good grades.Also i am sad because my career in the oil business has gone nowhere because its not what you know its who you know.All I need is to get one oil lease of my own and get overriding royalties and I would be set for life.However my oil and gas career is not doomed for sure because anything could happen and I know dad would take a deal if it was a good one.

Also I think I have a shot at a career as a church of Christ pastor because I have been preaching most of my life and I am good at it and I was church of Christ famous.I just realize now that I dont have to be rich to be happy.I just would be mostly content with the middle class to upper middle class American Dream of the 1950's and 1960's but thats out the window for the vast majority of young Americans and possibly myself.I just feel like a disappointment and a failure.I am sorry for the long-winded rambling.

I am also sad because I have to live at home and I getting close to 40.I cant even afford food or vacations but my couusin flies on a private jet all the time with her and her husband and they are literally possibly billionaires at this point.My cousin's husband is basically the friendly ethical millennial version of JR Ewing because he is a big-time oil tycoon.Why did I have to be the much poorer cousin?My grandfather asked me if I would ever amount to anything and its really sad because i feel like i have not and most likely never will.I will never be able to live the American Dream on my own most likely without the millions I will inherit from my mom and dad.

Ugh.This was not supposed to happen.I just wish I was a kid again.I remember I wanted to grow up so bad when I was a kid but I just have to tell myself that at least I am not homeless and I can afford to put some money aside for retirement every month.Please offer me your emotional support if I can.I am just utterly devastated by how my life turned out.I was such a happy little kid.My life is a utter disaster and complete train wreck.My career will likely never recover and no good jobs would ever hire me because is a nearly decade long employment gap is a Texas-sized red flag.

I don't see why you couldn't work at a store. Like what do you do all day that's more important? It would probably be a good thing for you and your family if you were out of the house sometimes.

I don't have any idea how somebody becomes a pastor in that church (is there a seminary?) but I don't think working in retail would get in the way of that ambition.

I am sorry I don't have much advice, but seems like your family is a bunch of as*holes..like they got all the money in the world and they can't help you? Idk if I had the money I'd help any of my family if they were in need, but generally I don't have the money for that cause I am poor to.

That said if you find a good enough job and a place you can afford you can make it without your family, which idk might be for the best because they sound awful from what you have posted. Even if you don't get a big house or whatever, you might be happier telling them to just f*ck off and get an apartment for yourself or something. You could look into getting a room-mate to help split rent if you need to. But idk I think you need space from your biological family to heal cause sounds like they have not treated you very well.

Well the reason why I cant work at a store is because I have to have a job coach to train and we had to pay for the last job coach out of pocket since the state would not help me get one.I had a job at a store for a month but my family was basically paying for me to work there so we were actually losing money with me working there.A lot of the church of Christ colleges are not suitable because their beliefs are mostly at odds with the old school church of Christ.

I dont have to go to a college neccessarily to be a pastor because there's is a massive pastor shortage in the church of Christ so churches are desperate to get any pastor they can so they have to take what they can get because it can take years to fill one preaching position.One reason why finding a church of Christ to preach at could be troublesome is because I drink alcohol in moderation every day and the church of Christ old timers believe every one who takes a sip of beer is going to Hell so I may have to hide that part of my life from them and drink at home.Also my drinking is one reason why I want to start a church of Christ is because a elder told me they would never hire someone who drinks alcohol in moderation.

Last edited by Texasmoneyman300 on 08 Jun 2024, 5:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Oh okay.Thanks to be fair to their parents the reason why they have not paid for me to move out yet is because my parents are building a multi-million dollar home in another city so we can move there and live there.They dont have tens of millions so its not like they are super rich but they are still more well-off than the typical American.My mom said that they may buy me a house and co-sign for it which is really different than I was expecting because they said they would never co-sign for me.

I cant really get apartment because I have no credit so i would have to basically be homeless and live in a extended stay hotel or trailer or camper.I am presently working on getting a group of church of Christ members so we can live together and share life together in a intentional Christian community so we can save money and be less materialistic and live simply.I think it would be up to 5 to 20 other Christians starting out.My dad is autistic most likely so he isnt all that malicious but he just takes it too far every day.I have long felt like I needed space from my family but its just not feasible now.

I know I have had lots of problems with my family but I am glad that they are letting me live with them.My cousin wont help me because they have a lot of oil deals and she gave me her word she would help be successful in the oil field but they are too busy jetting off to California and all over all the time.I have a somewhat better relationship with my dad than I used to.I am considering starting another business in the future in case being in finance does not work out.

I dont really see the point of working because it is illegal for me to more save more money than 2,000 dollars so really whats the point if I dont make a living wage and I cant do what i want with my own money or even have a life.My retirement savings are in a trust fund and I dont own it or control so thats why I am able to have retirement but thats only because I have my parents and their ability to hire lawyers.If I did not have my parents I would have nowhere to live and I wouldnt have money at all.I dont really want to turn this into a whole new bash parents thread.My parents love me and I love them and I am thankful for them.I am lucky to have them but they have their faults like the rest of us.However my dad is angry all the time so thats hard to deal with but again I dont want to turn this in another bash mom and dad thread.

If it doesn't pay to work and you might be jeopardizing your current social security payments by working.... it might be best just to avoid working, for the sake of financial security, even though you might have a drive to 'do something' or a drive to work in general.

You are unlikely to get a job anyway, as you mention, with your ten year unemployment gap on your CV/resume.

You won't be limited to having $2000 in the bank if you can switch from SSI to SSDI. There are people on WP who get SSDI and they have or have had jobs.

https://www.ljblegal.com/library/understanding-the-differences-between-ssi-and-ssdi.cfm#:~:text=Individuals%3A%20Must%20have%20less%20than,less%20than%20%243%2C000%20in%20assets

^ I'm not familiar with the American welfare system.

Interesting!

I get SSDI but since I am on secondary medicaid or whatever they put me on the 2,000 dollar rule so my income has to be at dirt poor levels to maintain my healthcare.

^ The social security systems in a lot of countries disincentivse work in certain respects. It's a bit silly really because then you get government nitwits complaining about people not wanting to work.

Well, they are not going to if they are disabled and could lose their only financial income from social security, by gaining employment.

I kind of understand, I mean my parents did a lot of wrong things but they weren't malicious, just wrong about some things probably due to their parents being even worse in part. But I still love them and will spend time with them, but I am glad I don't live with either of them anymore.

But yeah the only reason I don't live with either of them is because me and my boyfriend can afford rent with our income to have our own apartment, otherwise it would be the choice of living with one of my parents or potential homelessness.

Yeah that 2,000 dollar rule really sucks, that is part of why I spent my tax return on a new PC so that way I wouldn't go over the limit and get my SSI cut off and I had been wanting a good computer for a while so seemed like the best option to keep below the limit.

That being said, idk is there any way you could like get a job through your family....to where you make too much to be on SSI and then you can start saving and investing without worrying about being penalized? I got on SSI because I desperately needed some kind of income, and my disabilities were holding me back and neither of my parents could afford to support me financially. Since then, I have improved enough to do part time work ...and now I think I am ready to take on more hours and am looking into finding a job where I make enough to be kicked off SSI. As I would like to save as much money as I can for a time....but currently I get so few hours that I still get some SSI it's just a bit reduced depending on how much I make each month. But until I find that better job I can't really afford to go without the SSI.

*wait you said SSDI, so the rules for that might be a little bit different....but generally you have to have worked for years and become disabled to get SSDI, SSI is what you get if you haven't really worked and have a disability and are 'poor' enough to qualify...what you describe sounds more like SSI.

I am not on SSI...I am on SSDI.I am on the 2,000 dollar rule because the medicaid pays the my healthcare co-pays and premiums.I cant get a job through my family because my cousin in law is too busy giving deals to his workers and giving lots of money to his mom and sister.My cousin did give us some good oil deals but it was nowhere enough to get off the ground.My cousin gave me her word that she was going to get my own lease and get me overriding royalties which is potentially worth millions a month so my income would be potentially millions per month if my cousin would not have lied to me but instead I make 700 dollars a month roughly and am dirt-poor and on the brink of homelessness constantly.

Also me and my dads company does not make enough to pay me a salary.My dad does not even pay me at all for my involvement with the company but I dont want to turn this into another bash mom and dad thread.I have made no significant spending money to live on in my more than decade long stint in the oilfield.Also none of my cousins will even spend time with my family and we moved hundreds of miles away from where we were living to be with family but members of my family like my aunt and uncle have rejected me and my mom and dad.My aunt and uncle and their children will have nothing to do with me.

I only see my other aunt and uncle.My other cousins wont spend time with me either.None of my cousins in town will spend time with me.It really is lousy.I wish we never would have moved out here to be with family.I hate to say it but I am never moving close to family again after what happened this time.I am never moving close to any of my future family.I just feel rejected by most of my dad's family.I spend much more time interacting with my mom's family who live in other states than my cousins on my dads side who mostly live miles with me.I would easily be worth 50 to 100 million dollars right now at least if my cousin would of kept my word but it was not meant to be.She lied to me.

That statement is not quite correct. There are certain college degrees that can pay off (examples: nuclear engineering, math), but most students do not want to major in them for various reasons. Too many students do not think about this until they have graduated and are stuck with their degree. To be able to land a better paying job if you do not have the “right” degree, one must have something special to bring to the business. You need to find skills that you can hone in on that can make you needed in the job market.

I have a good friend who dropped out of college a decade ago with two courses to finish to graduate with his Bachelors degree in robotics. His family was very angry with him, assuming that he would work for minimum wage the rest of his life. However he has exceptional skills in building both lasers (3-D printing) and robots that he honed over years of training. His first job outside of college was as a minimum-wage custodian. Working up the ladder, he learned more needed skills as he did his job. He eventually landed a career at a different company building very specialized equipment that pays him quite well. One cannot expect the job market to bend in your direction, it must want your skills for it to pay off in your direction. You have to be adaptable to find the “niche” job in a competitive market. That part will become a job in itself to get the right job.

I should have said I wish any degree worked because my parents and my therapist told me my sociology degree would get me a good job but they were so wrong.I know some degrees like the STEM degrees paid off but like I said earlier those were not a option for me because I never had the math skills required to get a petroleum engineering degree.Back in the old days every degree was basically a meal ticket to the American Dream but those days are gone for good.I will never get a good job most likely.