Bipolar

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Recently been diagnosed with Bipolar type 1... based on the fact that I've been exceptionally depressed of and on over my life, and had some manic episodes, and a few "mixed" episodes. The depression recently has been so debilitating that I could hardly function, and the Doctor put me on anti depressants, which didn't work. In the past other anti depressants have worked too well, sending me off on a spiral.

Anyway, the Doctor's put me on an anti depressant, and a mood stabiliser, which seem to be working... apart from the fact that I'm having the MOST horrendous dreams, and sleep disturbance. I'm beginning to worry that they'll never find anything that works for me, and I'll never get my life back on track again. I am scared that I'll never be fit to work again.

Also, this is the first time I've fessed up to my diagnoses. It was bad enough getting used to the idea that I'm on the spectrum. This makes me feel even worse... I didn't realise that you could have ASD and bipolar disorder at the same time. I'm thinking if I'm ever well enough to work again, who on earth would hire me?

Should I have posted here? I realise that this is a forum for people on the autistic spectrum (which I am) but that bipolar issues mightn't be relevant. It's just that there's really nobody I can talk to in my real life, and I'm feeling rather scared and uncomfortable at the moment, looking back at my life, and trying to reassess (for the second time in less than a year) who I am.

You should and are welcome to post here, mgran. Bipolar disorders are challenging, but not insurmountable. There will be some days that are better than others, some worse, but with support, therapy, and if needed, medication... it is manageable, and I know several individuals (bp1, bp2, atypical/mixed state, and schizoaffective) who work and live successfully with their diagnosis.


M.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar, too, mgran. At first, I was heavily medicated, and unfortunately those medications cause me to gain a lot of weight, along with other unpleasant side effects. I made the decision to go off them; gradually and carefully. I have had several years with no significant mania, and several depressive episodes, but I will never go on those meds again. I am not advocating that you do the same, just sharing a personal experience here. Some people do well with medications, once they adjust to them. Please take care of yourself!

Thanks to you both. I suppose I just need a bit of hope. I feel like I'm going to be on meds forever. They have improved things very slightly... but not enough. Not yet anyway. I'm tired all the time, have the most appalling nightmares, and am now heavier than I've ever been in my life.

Hi,

I'm in much the same fix, spectral and bipolar, and what I understood, late in the day, is the temptation to commit the base rate fallacy. Thing is, if all I could tell an employer are those two things, arguably he wouldn't give me the time of day. But it dawned on me, that in addition to those impediments, I have certain gifts that duly managed can make up for the defects cause by the fixes. Am I making sense? I hope so.

Specifically, I hope that unlike me you will not spend a few decades figuring out that you are a lot more than a carrier of one, two or several diagnoses.

I see the bipolar thing as a working hypothesis. I do get uneven deliveries of energy, and until I learned to duck the temptations I did a great many foolish things. Similarly my social life, or rather lack thereof, became comprehensible only as I realized how truly I belong in that spectrum. Again, another working hypothesis. I no longer try to fit in when everything inside me is crying out: get out!

I wish you luck because I think you deserve it.


J

Thank you all.

hartzofspace, although I'm not happy with my meds, I'm not wanting to go off them yet, because I need to get to a stable place and try to get my life back in order again. But perhaps later, and under supervision, I might be able to come off them. Thanks for holding out that hope.

Lisa, how long after you were diagnosed did you find yourself able to work again? And do I actually have to disclose my diagnoses in a job interview? Thanks for the advice on how to consider the diagnoses by the way. I've been second guessing every life decision I ever made. Some of them were clearly crazy, but most of them weren't that bad. It's just that things keep working out badly for me, and when that happens I spiral into a depression. I think I'd be much better at spotting a mania coming up, since it's such an unusual state for me. I'm still picking up the pieces from the last one, which has left me in debt up to the eyeballs.

Finally, my Doctor's told me that I'm not to drive for a while... and apparently under UK law I have to inform the DVLA. Am I ever going to be allowed to drive? I'm now frustrated that I went to the trouble and expense of learning.

Hi, I was a very long time, or so it seemed before I could do anything much. Things sort of settled down when I realised that if I go back to full time employment, I'll undersleep and then the whole tedious manic circus starts anew. I tried about half a dozen meds before I found something I could function with.

I don't see that you have to disclose anything, although to be honest, if they make it a condition that they can see your medical files, the conclusion ought to be, look further.

Whether I carry this or that diagnosis is a matter between medicine and me. If can do the work, it shouldn't matter that I take pills every night.

As for driving, unless you're up in the air or down in the dumps and feel you are a safe driver, honk along.


J

Thanks LisaJ.
I'll bear in mind that when I do feel able to return to work I should consider part time. I do think that full time work has a tendency to bring out the manic in me.

I feel, as though I have reverse Bi Polar. That means, that I get all excited in the fall and winter, when it's colder and darker, outside. I become depressed and very tired, in the spring and summer months, and my appetite seems to take a vacation, for those 6 months.

That sounds more like reverse seasonal affective disorder. So, I take it you aren't a fan of this time of year?

I was just told that I probably have bi-polar brought on my using marijuana too much recently. I'm in a new drug trial for bi-polar meds. Meaning I'm trying taking some new meds, and I stopped taking a anti-depression med, Wellbutrin, which I've been taking for 33 years.

They put me on: Risperidone 1mg (morning) and 2mg (at night), also Quetiapine 50mg, and Trazodone 50mg, both also at night, for sleep. I wake up extremely dopey, and dry mouthed, (keep in mind I've taken Wellbutrin for 33 years, and it causes dry mouth...but Quetiapine's dry mouth is head and shoulders above Wellbutrin's dry mouth...

Lately, I just can't sleep, too wired, and bouncing off the walls. I guess I'm maniacal.

No one seems to want to answer this question: IF it's bad to take anti-depressant, Wellbutrin, Lunesta for sleep, and Lorazepam for anxiety; if you're bi-polar, what about taking those bi-polar meds, when you're not bi-polar???

Thanks