25 Jul 2024, 11:15 pm
26 Jul 2024, 7:31 am
26 Jul 2024, 9:25 am
26 Jul 2024, 9:58 pm
26 Jul 2024, 10:52 pm
For the past few months? Plenty. 
I started out by taking BCPs for my hormonal cycles. Things went upwards since then.
I stop having maladaptive daydreams to a point that it doesn't interfere with my daily living and thought processing after over 20 years of it.
I am no longer dealing with chronic background irritation that I've been dealing since childhood. Way less emotional liability.
... Gaining an angel on my right shoulder.
It's sort of like what having a conscience actually sort of feels like; being able to rephrase while getting regulated by reason not some stupid false conscience that kept me trapped in my head and forced denials...
Part time job with negotiable schedules.
It's like I emotionally matured.
Like I got some upgrades.
But my cognition is still more or less the same. Still not very consistent due to my whining body.
As much as I want to, I'll figure that one out later.
My body for most part is still the same.
ATM, I'm figuring my physical health.
Still figuring out my sleep issues.
Still figuring out my breathing issues.
Still figuring plenty of lack of prerequisites; like I wanna work out because it does feel good but my recovery still too suck to keep at it without getting sick or hurt in the process.
Still attempting to acquire tastes for vegetables...
26 Jul 2024, 11:15 pm
26 Jul 2024, 11:17 pm
26 Jul 2024, 11:24 pm
Edna3362 wrote:
For the past few months? Plenty.
I started out by taking BCPs for my hormonal cycles. Things went upwards since then.
I stop having maladaptive daydreams to a point that it doesn't interfere with my daily living and thought processing after over 20 years of it.
I am no longer dealing with chronic background irritation that I've been dealing since childhood. Way less emotional liability.
... Gaining an angel on my right shoulder.
It's sort of like what having a conscience actually sort of feels like; being able to rephrase while getting regulated by reason not some stupid false conscience that kept me trapped in my head and forced denials...
Part time job with negotiable schedules.
It's like I emotionally matured.
Like I got some upgrades.
But my cognition is still more or less the same. Still not very consistent due to my whining body.
As much as I want to, I'll figure that one out later.
My body for most part is still the same.
ATM, I'm figuring my physical health.
Still figuring out my sleep issues.
Still figuring out my breathing issues.
Still figuring plenty of lack of prerequisites; like I wanna work out because it does feel good but my recovery still too suck to keep at it without getting sick or hurt in the process.
Still attempting to acquire tastes for vegetables...
I started out by taking BCPs for my hormonal cycles. Things went upwards since then.
I stop having maladaptive daydreams to a point that it doesn't interfere with my daily living and thought processing after over 20 years of it.
I am no longer dealing with chronic background irritation that I've been dealing since childhood. Way less emotional liability.
... Gaining an angel on my right shoulder.
It's sort of like what having a conscience actually sort of feels like; being able to rephrase while getting regulated by reason not some stupid false conscience that kept me trapped in my head and forced denials...Part time job with negotiable schedules.
It's like I emotionally matured.
Like I got some upgrades.
But my cognition is still more or less the same. Still not very consistent due to my whining body.
As much as I want to, I'll figure that one out later.
My body for most part is still the same.
ATM, I'm figuring my physical health.
Still figuring out my sleep issues.
Still figuring out my breathing issues.
Still figuring plenty of lack of prerequisites; like I wanna work out because it does feel good but my recovery still too suck to keep at it without getting sick or hurt in the process.
Still attempting to acquire tastes for vegetables...
There's so much to unpack here I'm not sure where to start. The second and third sentences sound like another level of a psychological burden. I'm glad there's some improvement there.
27 Jul 2024, 12:49 am
27 Jul 2024, 5:30 pm
27 Jul 2024, 5:43 pm
27 Jul 2024, 10:40 pm
Graves Knight wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
For the past few months? Plenty.
I started out by taking BCPs for my hormonal cycles. Things went upwards since then.
I stop having maladaptive daydreams to a point that it doesn't interfere with my daily living and thought processing after over 20 years of it.
I am no longer dealing with chronic background irritation that I've been dealing since childhood. Way less emotional liability.
... Gaining an angel on my right shoulder.
It's sort of like what having a conscience actually sort of feels like; being able to rephrase while getting regulated by reason not some stupid false conscience that kept me trapped in my head and forced denials...
Part time job with negotiable schedules.
It's like I emotionally matured.
Like I got some upgrades.
But my cognition is still more or less the same. Still not very consistent due to my whining body.
As much as I want to, I'll figure that one out later.
My body for most part is still the same.
ATM, I'm figuring my physical health.
Still figuring out my sleep issues.
Still figuring out my breathing issues.
Still figuring plenty of lack of prerequisites; like I wanna work out because it does feel good but my recovery still too suck to keep at it without getting sick or hurt in the process.
Still attempting to acquire tastes for vegetables...
I started out by taking BCPs for my hormonal cycles. Things went upwards since then.
I stop having maladaptive daydreams to a point that it doesn't interfere with my daily living and thought processing after over 20 years of it.
I am no longer dealing with chronic background irritation that I've been dealing since childhood. Way less emotional liability.
... Gaining an angel on my right shoulder.
It's sort of like what having a conscience actually sort of feels like; being able to rephrase while getting regulated by reason not some stupid false conscience that kept me trapped in my head and forced denials...Part time job with negotiable schedules.
It's like I emotionally matured.
Like I got some upgrades.
But my cognition is still more or less the same. Still not very consistent due to my whining body.
As much as I want to, I'll figure that one out later.
My body for most part is still the same.
ATM, I'm figuring my physical health.
Still figuring out my sleep issues.
Still figuring out my breathing issues.
Still figuring plenty of lack of prerequisites; like I wanna work out because it does feel good but my recovery still too suck to keep at it without getting sick or hurt in the process.
Still attempting to acquire tastes for vegetables...
There's so much to unpack here I'm not sure where to start. The second and third sentences sound like another level of a psychological burden. I'm glad there's some improvement there.
Yes. Lots of unpack.
I have particular restrictions that just did not work after years of trying;
Having a routine just doesn't work for me. Even if I want one so, so badly, my body refused to follow it.
It never gave me a stable cycle, a stable sleep schedule, let alone everyday meals...
Thus, having negotiable schedule.
No hectic mornings because my body just never adjusted well every time I wake up.
Everything went good after taking BCPs.
Because it gave me a degree of alexithymia.
Why is that a good thing?
Because unlike most autistic profiles where one has alexithymia; I don't and I cannot ignore internal signs anymore like I was younger through will power.
And I need a break from my emotions, from the sensations of my body, from my mind -- I need space for the external.
A break, a distance from any of it; not suppression or numbing or hollowness.
Because of that, I also have more space to process my emotions instead of being constantly overwhelmed by my own body and whatever it was interfering me.
Thus successions of overcoming some psychological burdens that's been there since childhood.
Really wish I could've done it earlier.
Was dismissed because 'I am still young and still adjusting to life and hormones'.
Waiting to outgrow through experience and time. It didn't happened.
I'm past the line that's considered a 'young adult' so I just made a decision few months ago and I did it.
As for physical health, I don't know what I have other than my sleep sucks and my metabolism is not very reliable.
I can eat little or too much; have more or less same work outs; same results.
Therefore, no intense workouts that I really want without getting hurt, interfering with my productivity and activity all because I've been coping with the heaviness of inertia and muscle strain, and the higher probability of getting sick because of it.
So I wanted to change my diet even a little...
And I'd rather not fall into one of my paternal family's curse of being diabetic and no food discipline.
And my sleep?
I need some money first before I'm able to move back into my room and have it dehumidified.
My upper respiratory is triggered basically almost all the time due to high humidity and I live in the tropics.
It gave me more problems than neurodivergence ever did.
I already knew what to do with it, but my progress with it has been cut short by anyone who wanted the room I had myself and am forced to share with my mom who's in need of a colder and definately a more humid room.
So I'm basically just waiting at this point before being able to move forward... It's annoying.
Why so long?
Because it's complicated.
28 Jul 2024, 1:04 am
Edna3362 wrote:
Graves Knight wrote:
Edna3362 wrote:
For the past few months? Plenty.
I started out by taking BCPs for my hormonal cycles. Things went upwards since then.
I stop having maladaptive daydreams to a point that it doesn't interfere with my daily living and thought processing after over 20 years of it.
I am no longer dealing with chronic background irritation that I've been dealing since childhood. Way less emotional liability.
... Gaining an angel on my right shoulder.
It's sort of like what having a conscience actually sort of feels like; being able to rephrase while getting regulated by reason not some stupid false conscience that kept me trapped in my head and forced denials...
Part time job with negotiable schedules.
It's like I emotionally matured.
Like I got some upgrades.
But my cognition is still more or less the same. Still not very consistent due to my whining body.
As much as I want to, I'll figure that one out later.
My body for most part is still the same.
ATM, I'm figuring my physical health.
Still figuring out my sleep issues.
Still figuring out my breathing issues.
Still figuring plenty of lack of prerequisites; like I wanna work out because it does feel good but my recovery still too suck to keep at it without getting sick or hurt in the process.
Still attempting to acquire tastes for vegetables...
I started out by taking BCPs for my hormonal cycles. Things went upwards since then.
I stop having maladaptive daydreams to a point that it doesn't interfere with my daily living and thought processing after over 20 years of it.
I am no longer dealing with chronic background irritation that I've been dealing since childhood. Way less emotional liability.
... Gaining an angel on my right shoulder.
It's sort of like what having a conscience actually sort of feels like; being able to rephrase while getting regulated by reason not some stupid false conscience that kept me trapped in my head and forced denials...Part time job with negotiable schedules.
It's like I emotionally matured.
Like I got some upgrades.
But my cognition is still more or less the same. Still not very consistent due to my whining body.
As much as I want to, I'll figure that one out later.
My body for most part is still the same.
ATM, I'm figuring my physical health.
Still figuring out my sleep issues.
Still figuring out my breathing issues.
Still figuring plenty of lack of prerequisites; like I wanna work out because it does feel good but my recovery still too suck to keep at it without getting sick or hurt in the process.
Still attempting to acquire tastes for vegetables...
There's so much to unpack here I'm not sure where to start. The second and third sentences sound like another level of a psychological burden. I'm glad there's some improvement there.
Yes. Lots of unpack.
I have particular restrictions that just did not work after years of trying;
Having a routine just doesn't work for me. Even if I want one so, so badly, my body refused to follow it.
It never gave me a stable cycle, a stable sleep schedule, let alone everyday meals...
Thus, having negotiable schedule.
No hectic mornings because my body just never adjusted well every time I wake up.
Everything went good after taking BCPs.
Because it gave me a degree of alexithymia.
Why is that a good thing?
Because unlike most autistic profiles where one has alexithymia; I don't and I cannot ignore internal signs anymore like I was younger through will power.
And I need a break from my emotions, from the sensations of my body, from my mind -- I need space for the external.
A break, a distance from any of it; not suppression or numbing or hollowness.
Because of that, I also have more space to process my emotions instead of being constantly overwhelmed by my own body and whatever it was interfering me.
Thus successions of overcoming some psychological burdens that's been there since childhood.
Really wish I could've done it earlier.
Was dismissed because 'I am still young and still adjusting to life and hormones'.
Waiting to outgrow through experience and time. It didn't happened.
I'm past the line that's considered a 'young adult' so I just made a decision few months ago and I did it.
As for physical health, I don't know what I have other than my sleep sucks and my metabolism is not very reliable.
I can eat little or too much; have more or less same work outs; same results.
Therefore, no intense workouts that I really want without getting hurt, interfering with my productivity and activity all because I've been coping with the heaviness of inertia and muscle strain, and the higher probability of getting sick because of it.
So I wanted to change my diet even a little...
And I'd rather not fall into one of my paternal family's curse of being diabetic and no food discipline.
And my sleep?
I need some money first before I'm able to move back into my room and have it dehumidified.
My upper respiratory is triggered basically almost all the time due to high humidity and I live in the tropics.
It gave me more problems than neurodivergence ever did.
I already knew what to do with it, but my progress with it has been cut short by anyone who wanted the room I had myself and am forced to share with my mom who's in need of a colder and definitely a more humid room.
So I'm basically just waiting at this point before being able to move forward... It's annoying.
Why so long?
Because it's complicated.
It felt like I was reading a novel about what a character is going through. You sound like a wind-up toy that never got a chance to sit down. You're body must be exhausted period.
28 Jul 2024, 1:46 am
28 Jul 2024, 8:45 am
28 Jul 2024, 9:34 am
