Like idk I have come to realize I get really upset at criticism to me. Like I want to be t he good image I see, but I am too busy being a crazy disorganized person. And idk I get really upset of thinking people don't fall for the image I am trying to. portray. But I guess the biggest thing I realize is for some reason I always think I am in a spotlight even in situations where no one would care what the f**k I am doing. Even when it was things others may not have even noticed. But also my mom is a bit narcissist, so I think I just learned some maybe not so healthy things from her.
and just seems being still worried about being embarrassed when no one is even there to be embarrassed in front of, I guess seems a bit narcassistic, to be so focused on how I will feel given any interaction, instead of thinking how other people may feel.. Idk I just think maybe I do have some selfish narcissist traits, which I don't like but juust recognizing that maybe I do have some traits of it and may be worth working on it a bit.
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We won't go back.