What caused your depression?

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I don't know what caused mine... I know what contributed to it, though:


1. having my intelligence insulted throughout the years
2. lack of a life, sensory deprivation
3. a more medical kind of sensory deprivation... feeling literally distanced... hard to explain... probably Sensory Processing Disorder
4. being insulted, yelled at and talked to/about with disgust and/or disdain by my mother and sometimes my father
5. being humiliated at school
And a bunch of other things, I think.

People, and myself.

You want ALL of the reasons? OK, here goes.

1. Having my intelligence insulted throughout the years
2. Being insulted, yelled at and talked to/about with disgust and/or disdain by my manager at work
3. Being humiliated at work
4. Pressure of work
5. Failed my work related exams
6. The weird, totally wacky upbringing I had from my parents
7. Lack of social skills, possibly linked to (6) and being an AS sufferer
8. No stable girlfriend, in fact I went through one after another
9. Meeting a girlfriend who thought it would be fun to drive me crazy, then she went and did it
10. Trying to deal with problems 1 through 9 on my own and failing badly because I did it the wrong way.

All of this was in 1981 and things now are a lot better.

Ed Almos

I'm not sure when it happened,but it seems that I recall being fairly happy until about 3rd grade,when my parents attempts to murder my 'spirit" appeared to take a toll.I think being yelled at all the time,not knowing when it was coming or what I had done made me really paranoid.It took along time to actually realize that it wasnt going to change and my parents really didnt like me.By 9th grade,knowing that no one cared if I was alive or dead really hurt my feelings.Constant reinforcemnet of this rejection from the rest of society,made me feel truly hopeless.The more I learned about how people treated each other,animals,environment through out different societies and time periods,made the depression worse.If I hadnt had my obsessions,I would be dead by now.They call if a "defect",I call it a saving grace.

-The fact that everyone in the world except me seems to have their brain switch in the "off" position.
-Not being recognized for my talents and instead being constantly chastised for my flaws.
-The fact that noone I know shares my taste in music.
-Being less attractive than I'd like to be.
-Virtually no support whatsoever since I'm too proud to seek it.
-Constant regret/guilt.
-All but one of my friends have turned into pieces of garbage.
-Uncertain future with a long, hard road ahead.

You can add this random unwanted double post to my list.

lack of motivation (for anything)
lo real goals in life , not knowing what to do for a better future
not knowing what i realy want to do , and what i could do

..

the depression left after i realized it was one
i knew i wasn´t stupid , not realy ugly , and had no real reason to be depressed as i´ve got a faily easy life
just the lack of a future perspective boters me a bit.
`ll work about that. It´ll take time and it won´t be easy , but I ain´t alone and till I find something I still have a life .

Having an abusive and neglectful childhood
Finding out my mother positively never loved me
AS when it collides with NT's reality
Chronic Pain
Feeling like I have less options than I had before
Isolation

Where to start....
- Spending three years constantly looking over my shoulder expecting to be yelled at or get in trouble.
- Growing up in a world where everyone else always seemed to get through everyday tasks easier and faster than me.
- Being considered slow and incompetant, or simply not good enough.
- Always being an outsider despite my best efforts.
- The conflict between the instinct to socialise, and the need to be alone.
- Craving attention and credit, but being terrified of people knowing I exist.
- Knowing and understanding that there will never really be a place or niche for me in the world.
- Seeing others who have money, property or resources, and being forced to accept that I will never have any of it for myself.
- Not being taken seriously or being ignored. Yes, I am a person, I do have valid opinions as well as knowledge and experience...
- Knowing that I am irrelevant and have no impact on the world.

- Social Unacceptance
- Most Kinds Of Bullying, Excluding Sexual.
- My Dad.
- Finding Out, Life's Not What It's Cracked Up To Be.
- Stress.
- School.

Since depression usually goes hand in hand with anxiety, you'd think I'd be depressed quite a bit; I've “only” been genuinely depressed once in my life (which lasted all of a week). The cause of which was most likely from my psychotic episode that drove me to the mental hostel for a month.

I'm not sure about all the causes, but one cause is definitely lack of sunlight. I always start getting mood dips as autumn approaches but I got a lightbox last year and it's great, it really makes a difference and I've just started using it again.

Another reason is the down of a mood swing. Up/down, that's how it goes. I was quite high last week so I knew I was heading for a crash, which came a few days ago. Darn it! I hate roller-coasters, but I'm kind of getting able to see the highs/lows coming now.

I know around high school I felt pretty rough. I was worried about the future, had issues with past friends and felt like Ill never acheive what my parents did in their lives. Things are better now, but I still struggle with some friends, wanting to have something more in life and I always worry about the future tho not so much. I can also say, as weird as it may sound, that I was most depressed actually due to things that occured in the past. Now this may sound very self centered, comapired to some of you guys who have actually had a rough past, mine was fine really... just wanted to traid the world to go back and fix a few things and realizing that I cant. I still struggle with this 1 and its soo dumb really but latly its been on my mind, to the point where I dont sleep like I used to.

Repeatedly setting goals for myself, and always letting myself down in the end.

I think tiredness is a cause too. Lack of sleep = depression = insomnia. It can become a vicious circle.