Missing part of my life

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Years ago in my childhood, My cousin Corey would come to visit me. He was very adventurious, playful, creative and gets into mischief alot. We used to pester my grandmother with our sillyness acting. We used to play all sorts of imagination games together. I was always the sidekick though, even though I really felt like one next to him. Corey always called me a worry wart, even though I have. I was close to my cousin, he was like the brother I never had
(I'm an only child, maybe that makes things more clearer or not).
Anyway, he only visited me at my grandmothers once in awhile. He lived further out in CT. And each time he lefted, I cryed. I felt so alone right after he left. My grandmother (well I shouldn't say threatend, but.....) said that If I continued crying, then he won't be coming to visit me anymore.

I couldn't visit him at the time. I didn't like my Uncle Ron (Cory's father). It's not his fault that he yelled alot at me when I came to spend the night. He just didn't understand my Asperger Syndrome.


Anyway, my cousin is still living and doing fine. Unfortunatly, he has matured and he is not as playful as he was when he was a kid.


I feel weird. Here I am, a 19 yr old Male Aspie, just got into college and slowly entering the real adult world. But I still have this feeling that I want that part of my childhood in my adulthood. Corey has changed. I want a friend that can have the spirit of a child.

This is sounding weird so I'll get to the point.

A GIRLFRIEND who I can share this childlike spirit with.


This is extremely rare and impossible to find, even in Aspie form (from my knolege),

What am I going to do.

I fall into depression alot, get sort of fusterated at the world for leaving me with a missing puzzle piece within myself.

_________________
Thank You and have a nice day,

_Eric

The only person I would consider close to me who can physically be with me these days is my job assesser. And I feel that way every time, even though we arent really best of friends or anything its just the only person who understands me and I really enjoy their company. So Im always sad again when I have to go back home.. Hm, reminds me of school, only I didnt want to go to it or leave it.

Yes, everyone changes from when they r a kid to when they are an adult, its a part of growing up. I 2 wish to relive parts (or all) of my childhood all over again, but you cant. Around your age (like 5 years ago) i also entered collage and finally realized that I was an adult and as good as it is to reflect, you cant live like a kid ever again, its time to be a man, and leave childish things behind.

A central theme in your posts is that you want people around you to understand your disorder. Well, the problem with that, and the reason why I dont bother telling people about me, nor do I care if they know what HFA or AS even is is that they dont have a frame of reference, just like we dont know what it is like to be NT, they dont know what its like to be AS, and so never will they draw the same conclusions in life, or see things the same way as you. Unfortunatly this is an NT world, and as good as it would be for everyone to understand and accept ya for who you are, most of the time they wont, and yet, you still gotta servive. You cant expect others to understand ya, but sometimes you gotta make changes, and not expect them to. The world does not change for you but often you must change for it. You cant keep blaiming AS for your problems and if your family was like mine was they would treat ya as if you were an NT and have the same expectations.

good luck man

Yeah, thanks.

It does suck, like it probably does for you guys.

Even my interest isn't your most popular in adulthood.

I'm an artist, puppeteer, voice actor and cartoonist.

They're very hard to find.

At least I have a few people I know who are in the business.

I think I should email them and ask how they are doing.

Most of the stuff I'm into comes from either NY or CA.

Maybe that's why I miss the glory days of youth, playing around like a silly crazy child.

All of my interests are pretty much my childhood, and it's kind of hard to make friends with my interests.


It might sound weird if I ask an adult my age "Hey, you watch cartoons?"

As crappy as the Ol' stereotype made my human sociaty is, I guess I got to try to fit in somehow to survive.

I want to thank you woodsman25 for helping me out.

I know that I over repete myself at times, but I guess I'm like most of you. It's not easy.

But I guess I got to hang on tight and search more.

_________________
Thank You and have a nice day,

_Eric

Yes I know exactly what you mean, adults are well so dull really very few people carry a childlike spirit into adulthood other than the odd scientist or us guys! Yes I think of a few friends I had who I relished the company of and yes its like a piece of them died.People call me childish but I think childlike is more accurate.