HELP, I'm having a meltdown

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For awhille I've been weirding my parents out. This morning I really pissed off my step mother on her way out the door. She said "Please don't start this weird stuff agian, your fine." then she left.

Now I feel like I'm going crazy. I think it's a feeling of not having anyone in your life that understands you so I go to my parents alot hoping that they understand. But I just weird then and piss them off.

As soon as she left, I randomly said "F***" under my breath, having all sorts of cringes. I was trying to protect myself from any kind of harmful violence towards myself (slaping, trying to knock myself out). I have a panicly feeling that both my parents are going to start raising their voices and me and question all sorts of crap when they get home.

I don't know what to do?

I'm afraid that I'll end up getting everyone mad at me.

How am I suppost to explain this to them?

I need to know A.S.A.P.

Thank You.

sorry you are having a bad time, I know this feeling, if you are alone you could try putting on load music and singing/dancing to release the pent up feelings. I used to go for long walks to chill out too.
If you can master the art of smiling and appearing happy then people seem to like you no matter what you do - I never got the hang of that yet though.
hope you feel better soon.

I think it's also the fact of living with a disconnection problem. Everyone gets confused and fusterated at eachother, etc. They don't understand me. Though It's not their fault, they don't understand the stress and plain that I go through 24/7.

I don't have much advice, it's just that I really identify with parts of what you've said. I yearn for understanding, too, from my family... and I don't think I'm ever going to get it. I'm glad that we have this place, to talk and share our troubles.

Me too. I wish we can all meet eachother in reality. Someone should ask Alex Plank and see if he can have some kind of a yearly reunion of something like that.

And yeah, it's like it's always a battle for me, talking to my parents about my problems. They try to treat me as a nornal adult but it always backfires when I have one of my usual problems. They try to tell me that I'm emotionally immature, and I freak out, trying everything I can just to get a good connection. It always makes me fusterated, alot of times it's hard staying in a positive mood.

Families are the perfect place for denial... they seem to do it so well everytime!

My mother always made me angry/frustrated by pretending to listen to me when I tried to explain something like this and at the end I'd notice she had that same look and say the same canned response that told me, "I'm not really listening to you because what you're saying is freaking me out and I do not want to believe it or have to try and figure it out for myself let alone for you."

All I can say is to find documentation on the internet or in books, say from the library, that show clear examples of what you're trying to tell them.
It might help if there are a few stories in there from individuals that will make your parents/family think, "Gee, this sounds just like Eric_C!".

Maybe if they 'discover' your AS (or whatever you feel you have) from outside the family sanctuary, then it will be easier for you to show them what is happening with you.

I think it is almost inherent in parents to deny their child has any 'problems', if they didn't figure it out first. No one likes to have someone else tell them something is 'wrong' with their kid when the parent didn't see it in the first place.
Lots of implications for the parents.