Sick of getting treated like an imbecile...

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I'm sick of getting treated like the biggest moron on the face of the planet just because I don't act how NTs want me to. Sometimes (a lot of the time) it makes me wish I was a lower functioning aspie (no offence to anyone) just so that I wouldn't have to deal with the knowledge that I have a greater intellect than most (I'm not trying to be conceited, I hope it doesn't sound that way), and yet I get treated as though I'm an intellectually impaired child. I've even been in situations involving myself, an adult NT, and an II child, where the II (intellectually impaired)child was taken more seriously than me and not condescended as I was. Needless to say, this has frustrated me to no end.

Recently, about February, I took up Aikido. Of all the things I could ever dream of doing, I don't think there's anything I'd ever enjoy quite so much. Unfortunately, I also hate it quite a lot more than most activities, as of all the people to condescend me, the Sensei is by far one of, if not the worst. If she only did it occasionally I think I'd be more able to deal with it, but that she does it without fail at least once every lesson (and lessons are twice a week) just drives me INSANE. I've strained and strained to try and work out what it is that makes me seem so stupid, to the point where I eventually concluded that I must just have an extremely vacant and blank expression.

Today I asked one of my co-workers whether I seemed vacant and explained to him the situation I was in. He says that the only thing he can think of that would make me seem that stupid to her would be that I tend to use too much or to little eye contact when I'm listening to people, and occasionally I will look past someone instead of at them. Since it's not even something I'm consciously aware of or in control of, I don't really see a way of fixing it. I just can't help it if I don't look at people right when I'm listening, especially as I don't know exactly what it is that I'm doing wrong in order to fix it.

Does anyone else get this problem, being thought of as stupid because people don't know or don't understand your AS? Is there anyway to not make myself look so stupid?

It just gets SO FRUSTRATING that I feel I'm practically being persecuted because I can't help what I am, that I can't change the fact that I have AS. It sometimes gets to me to the point that I've spent hours at a time searching for way to cure Aspergers or get rid of it somehow...I know it's not possible, but I just don't want to be different anymore, I want to be able to function normally and be normal and not look like an idiot just because I don't know how much I contact I'm supposed to make and stupid stuff like that which shouldn't have to matter anyway.

Since we can't change it beyond faking it, all I can suggest is to "surpise them." I've had the experience that you've had (and still do, anytime I'm in a new job or experience), but when I'm left to my own devices, I've often heard "wow, I didn't know you could do that!", or "I didn't know you had that in you." Seek out those opportunities, not to impress, but for your own sake. Though I've played the "mysterious" card more often; say little to begin with, let them wonder what you're going to do. Who knows...

I don't like being aspie either, but I was kinda born that way.

A lot of people think I'm stupid. I've never found anything I can do to change that.

Now and then, I run into somebody who doesn't think I'm stupid. They're out there.

Sorry to double post, but there's other martial arts instructors running schools out there. Sometimes you gotta put up with people who think you're stupid, but there's no point in doing it for recreation and personal development.

lol...join the club, man.

I actually have to aggressively demonstrate my accomplishments, intellect, and talent to others, or else no one would listen to me. I often have force my way into a sea of NT blabbing, in order get a word in edgewise. I often interrupt people because of it.

My offers to help others or complete a task are often rejected because they are worried that I'll break something, mess up, or I won't even be able to do the task at all.

For example: I'm doing a woodworking project with a group of NTs, and there is a piece of wood that needs to be cut. I actually have to GRAB the saw, even if it's out of someone's hand, and cut the wood myself.

You have do things that you aren't asked to do. Don't take initiative, FORCE initiative. Be assertive. If that doesn't work, be agressive...that's how you get respect.

Well said. I used to be referred to as the "token ret*d" at my previous job. However this job offered a 100% tuition benefit. I took advantage of this and quietly accumulated two associates and a bachelors degree along with numerous other classes. Every opportunity that came along to learn something new I was all over it. I was asked to do two presentations at a conference three years ago. My presentations were voted the two best by all who attended. It was a terrifying experience and I just about crapped my pants when I heard that. I also met someone who would later become my new boss.

My current employer was very agressive in pursuing me and wouldn't take no for an answer. I was offered three times as much money and free rein to go balls to the wall. I have also worked extremely hard at being able to navigate the social idiocies that NT's love. The way to overcome this dicrimination is to push yourself to be better than everyone else at whatever it is you set out to do. When most people set goals they say "I'm going to run 10 miles." If he only runs 9 miles he achieved 90% of his goal. When I set goals I say, "I'm going to go 1000 miles." If I only make it 100 miles I am no where near my goal but I am 91 miles ahead of the other guy. We Aspie's have greater obstacles to overcome but nothing worth doing or having is ever going to be easy, free or fair. My AS gives me a tenacity and endurance that NT's just can't match.

Thankyou, that's inspired me a lot...I don't know exactly why, perhaps because it's very true, but that's just become my favourite quote!


I've begun attending another Aikido dojo. The Sensei there is a bit of an oddball, but he's an overall nice guy and his quirkiness just makes me take to him a bit more. He treats me with respect and doesn't condescend me even though he probably has reason to, given my complete lack of co-ordination.

I still attend my first dojo though, and Lylie's still as bad as she ever was...I chose that dojo in the first place since I have friends that go there who talked me into it. I can't leave without a damn good explanation or they just force me to go back again (I've quit on two separate occasions already, once for almost two months, yet they always manage to force me back). They'd kill me if they knew I went to another dojo, but it's doing wonders for my sanity and stopping me from coming to hate Aikido as the result of one mean old bat. And I have a feeling that someone is likely to reply to this "why don't you just explain to your friends". I have tried, but they aren't treated like I am by the Sensei so they don't believe me when I tell them how she treats me. Also, they don't understand AS much (which may not be relevent, but I'm fairly sure that them understanding AS would make a difference).



Thanks, I'll try and be a bit more assertive in the future...that really WILL suprise my Sensei! It always worries me when I try and be assertive or point out my achievements, because I can't help feeling rude or conceited. If I don't do it though, I just get shoved into a corner and ignored, so I guess it's for the best.

Thanks for listening to my rants guys, I really appreciate it

You're welcome and good luck.