Preventing Angry Outbursts

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Previously posted at T*A*S*C

Below are a few helpful tips for when stress or something else is
agitating you, making you more susceptible to aggravation by, seemingly,
the least little thing. I can attest to the fact the last is especially
true.

· Make sure you're getting enough sleep. Doing anything without enough
rest can make you more irritable.

· Try to give yourself plenty of time. Often, frustrations bubble up when
we feel we're running out of time. Another strategy is to accept that
you're running late, and you can't do anything about it.

· Listen to relaxing music and concentrate on breathing. Try to avoid
aggressive thoughts and concentrate on something neutral instead. The more
you focus on a trigger, the more likely you'll make yourself angry.

· Don't show displeasure to others. There's a good chance that whatever
has ticked you off was a mistake on the other's part. It's very unlikely
the other person is singling you out, and even if he is, it's not worth it
to follow suit. So resist the urges.

· Avoid venting. It isn't helpful and can actually increase your elevated
sense of frustration. There's also the chance that the other person will
react in kind, escalating the situation. As difficult as it may seem, it's
better to avoid venting your frustrations. Instead, assume the other
person doesn't mean to be thoughtless.

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Jarl K. Jackson

I really like your post, particularly because its a result of not doing those things that I find myself very stressed and angry on occasion getting better with age but still can on rair occasion meltdown.

No venting? If I didnt vent who knows what I would be today. Its healthy to let it out slowly and peacefully instead of keeping it all in and eventually exploding.

Right, there are definitely good times to turn to friends and family for comfort and advice.

However, this is a list of suggestions for how to avoid blowing up over small things. If we allow ourselves to make a habit of venting over the slightest little offense or accident, at another person's expense, there are many consequences:

-damaging the other person's reputation
-flagging yourself as someone who approves of gossip
-giving yourself a reputation as a whiner or complainer
-"the boy who cried wolf" (nobody will take you seriously when a larger problem occurs)
-strengthening the neural pathways involved in feeling victimized and/or angry

We've all known people who fall apart over the least little thing. If you conjure up a memory of someone you've known who behaved like this, you'll probably notice that venting didn't seem to make him or her any happier.

I questioned the venting thing myself. I think maybe what Jarl means is not venting at the person who's given the perceived offense. Like at work, we're not to vent in front of the customers. We're expected to go in the back and do that.

That's the first explanation that came to my mind as well. But then I was thinking that it would be redundant, since the item before it already seems to cover this problem.

The wording on the previous one is annoying. I can't tell if it means don't show displeasure to the person that has caused you frustration, or if it means don't show anyone displeasure.