Why do I have to change?

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I am so heartbroken and upset, and this was the only place I could imagine someone may possibly understand.
I am 30 years old and in college right now. I get teased and humiliated all the time by students. They call me a show-off. They consider it to be so because of my grades. I do not tell anyone my grades. I go out of my way to hide them in fact. However, teachers tend to call on me to answer things others do not know the answer on or have me give a demonstration. I have requested they not do this, but they just laugh at me.
I cried to my mother and a friend about this. Both said I should change who I am to suit those who are being cruel. How is this right? I did not ask for God to make me who I am. I did not ask to not understand socially or to think in ways that make others call me odd. It is not just to ask this of me, is it? Would they ask one born with no legs to learn to dance? Why can not people, especially those close to me, just accept I am different? Why must I endure this teasing and humiliation in public? I have since preschool. I am always the outcast.

[b][i]Annabel Lee

You shouldn't have to change. You should be yourself.

Tim

They don't have any business looking down on you - especially if you're smarter than them! Steel up your courage and tell them all to **** off. You are a human being and your life has value. You're 30 years old, if this was middle-school I could see how hard it would be to stick up for yourself, but you're an adult now and you don't need to take this kind of abusive bullsh*t from anyone, ever. If someone's treating you this way, the only thing that will stop it is to stand up to them and defend yourself. Do not try to change yourself to suit them as they will never be satisfied and will only treat you worse. You've got nothing at all to lose by standing up for yourself, and the whole world to gain.

Some things are simply intolerable and inexcusable.

You don't have to change. You may feel pressured to, but nothing says you have to.

You dont have to change your intellect.. that is like saying you need to 'dumb it down' for the world. It helps to use simpler words around them, but by all means if you are smart and have good grades isnt that the goal of college? screw em.

Everything changes except your essence. That doesn't. That will continue on into eternity. What changes is the ego. It gets broken into little tiny fragments through these traumas. Some big. Some smaller. Pulverizing nontheless until you feel like you're scattered all over the cosmos. Vulnerability is a risk. Healing is a must. Gritting the teeth and perservering is the route. Admitting that maybe this could be a lesson - even if you can't see it right now and it's all majorly FD up - is a start. Just leaving some space for possibility. Baby steps. It's not about right or wrong. It's just about getting clear and rid of old patterns - aka baggage. So - everything is designed especially to get you to that place of growth. It hurts, then it stops. Be gentle with yourself.

Be yourself. This world has enough people all trying to be the same.
When they are grown up they will regret what they are doing, and if they dont they will never have grown up, either way - It's their loss.

The students...most of them are only a few years out of high school. Many of them still have the maturity level of a high schooler. I know these will probably sound like empty words, but don't let their opinions get to you. Does the opinion of someone who doesn't value education and hard work really matter to you? (I know...the answer will likely be yes, but it shouldn't be. Not saying I've been able to take my own advice.)


The professors... I tried the same thing with one of them, he made a point of calling on me. A couple of them did. It was nice that they felt highly of my work, but I never wanted that to be broadcasted to the entire class.

They seem to be the exact opposite of the students. They value education and hard work so much that they act like someone that does not want to get recognition for it is being silly. At least I think that's what's going on...maybe they just try to find some entertainment however possible. The two I dealt with made comments as if they thought it was silly.

You shouldn't change yourself to fit the ideal of others. Like I said, getting an education and working hard are good things. It is better to be forced to deal with the mockery of others than to sell yourself short. You won't have to deal with these students when you get out of college, hopefully you will "have" to deal with people that behave a bit more maturely.

AnnabelLee, lol your post brought back alot of memories, not to be offensive or anything, but i can totally relate to what you posted. i'm 27 yrs old and out of school, and just in hell literally now. mostly due to the anxiety attacks and lack of energy. yeah all though jr high and high school i always got good grades(except on math of course) was always picked on my teachers to answer questions and or read infront of the class. group activitys. it was very annoying and i'm so happy i'm out of school and can research on my own with the internet :0). my life is so screwed up that i cant even go back to school cause usually when theres like 2-3 people near me i start having panic attacks and melt down bigtime. so pretty much just trying to stay busy now. i dont take any medication right now, (have to wait another 2-3 months before i'm qualified and can do something about the anxiety. anyway i worked in the grocery industry for 3 yrs, worked in internet marketing since 1994. but thanks to family tragedies i feel like i'm in complete hell and confusement now...

in relation to what you said about your grades and peoples reactions ive heard of and know many people who hate that treatment so for the teachers/whatever you call them calling on you for the answer take it higher eventually you'll get to someone who understands or at least has dealt with the problem before

Is it possible to transfer schools? I was always the top of my class, even corrected the professors on occasion, and as far as I'm aware mean comments were never said about me. Not even in my economics class, when I routinely scored ten percentage points or more above everyone else - the class was graded on the curve and so if I weren't in the class, everyone elses B would have been an A. There were two others that were competitive with me in that class but I beat them out. We'd take turns asking the professor what the highest score was on the exams (we even discussed at one point he would be at when we asked - ie walking in the door, taking out his things, asking if anyone had anything to share). Whenever I asked what the highest score was, he wouldn't give a number, he'd just say, "You."

How far along are you in the program? I imagine the type of behavior you describe is more likely to happen amonst freshman/sophomore classes, then when you get into the core components of your major. Then everyone should want to be your friend, expecially when it comes to the stupid groupwork that all teachers agree is the worst possible thing to have, but assign anyway.

Oh, and don't change your effort any. People used to just dismiss my 4.0 to the point where I too was thinking, at least on a small scale, "Grades don't matter all that much." But trust me, its worth it at graduation when you have a 4.0 QPA. And will be even more worth it when you are competing with those same kids for jobs. Quite a few of their applications will be immediately tossed in the trash because they don't have high GPAs

very, very true

Dont change and definetly dont give in to the bullys.
GOOD LUCK!
DONT GIVE INTO THEM

I hope things improve for you soon.

What the heck kind of school is this? I'm 32 myself and back in college getting my second degree. Yes, some of the kids at my university are immature but not enough to laugh at people to their face.

I think you're just at the wrong school. Go somewhere else where everybody else has brains and is serious about being in school. Or you may want to take classes at night since they are mostly made up of older adults like yourself.

I heard this today and it made me think of you