Is it inevitable...

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that, no matter how severe or non severe your aspergers is, that if you mix mainly with NT's, and also find yourself somewhat interested in certain NT's, that you will be prone to patches where you will feel bloody useless?

Not necessarilly as a self-esteem thing... could be a paranoia thing too... -I ain't low on self-esteem but you can bet your life I've got an awful lot of fear and paranoia in me... -

I think how severe your autism spectrum trait are will effect the realtive levels of problems you will have with NT's. The simple
fact that as a person on the spectrum gets older it becomes
harder to diagnose mild-to-moderate cases without their histories
at a young age confirms that levels of impairment get less over time.

I feel useless. I have the lowest self esteem ever. I actually cannot stand myself.

This just occurred to me now, I think I might stare too much and people get freaked out by it.. I dont even know that Im doing it though! But lately Ive been sort of noticing it afterward, Im not sure. More than likely paranoia although I wouldnt be surprised if its something that I do. I know one thing for sure which is all I have to do is try to make conversation and people look at me like "ohh kaayyy" and just sort of back off

I wouldn't say "inevitable" but it is quite close, depending on your level of AS.

I think as you get older, it probably matters less what people think about you, as long as the people who count get along with you fine.

I'm pretty sure there are a huge percentage of people who'd be classified as NT who feel the same was as you though. We Aspies aren't the only people who can feel uncomfortable in social situation or sometimes feel like an idiot for saying/doing the wrong thing during human interactions.