aaaaah! meltdown!! !!

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Ahhhh! am in middle of or just had meltdown in front of people acquaintances!!
I was left to open Super Happy Fun Land by myself, and all these people who I just kinda knew showed up and I had a meltdown....still cannot stop crying...took xanax....still waiting for it to kick in....I am so embarrased....I hate crying in front of people......and annoyed...and kinda mad at Flakey for leaving me by myself with people who make me nervous.

fah....

I have been having these meltdowns a whole lot lately...they really suck...I was all melty-downy yesterday too...

I hate having to take xanax, but I have to take something or else it goes into a perpetual loop....

xanax has only kicked in slightly.

Sorry to hear. Happens to the best of us. Don't be embarrassed. I'm sure the people around were just concerned for you, nothing to worry about. Gotta go now, time for my Klonopin. =) /m

I am pretty sure these people will judge me for it...'cause I think part of the reason I had the meltdown was that I had a perception of these people being judgemental of me....(on top of being really fragile lately and have been having lots of meltdowns over the last few days.

Feel better soon.....I know all about meltdowns, sigh. And, yes, outsiders can be harsh! Can you be somewhere away from others, low stimuli? I know this sometimes isn't possible. I try to look for a 'way out,' if possible. My prescription is clonazepam, which does have mild anti-seizure properties too - helps. Afterward, I need to rest, but I do not always have that luxury. For me, a meltdown takes everything out of me.

I'm sending you a virtual bouquet of Alaskan wildflowers....except now they're all cover in snow and ice. Just visualize your favorite color of wildflower, ok?

Sheesh! Anyplace called Super Happy Fun Land would make me meltdown too!

((((Hugs in Understanding))))

It's not the place, though the colors and sounds get to me at times....it was this particular group of people....for complicated reasons I don't really feel like delving in to.

This morning I had a mini-meltdown....but I am ok now.

I have just been having them alot lately.

Maybe I have not been taking my l-theanine and omegas as dilligently as I should...Perhaps it is because I have been in a cycle of taking xanax (which is highly addictive) in ordder to deal with strssful social situations..so that when I don't take the xanax, I can't cope as well and have to take it again....

but there is def. something going on with me.

Are you having too much stimulus (many stimuli? bah..) at the moment? Too much social stuff? Not enough time to yourself to get your head together? I know sometimes it can't be helped, life just piles stuff onto us

I hope you feel better soon poopylungstuffing.

I am constantly dealing with issues of over-stimulus...I help run a venue...I am constantly running in a crazy stressed out cycle....I should be used to it by now....there are some dumb issues going on though...

anywhoo...

I have finally snapped out of it for now...yaay...

no xanax!

thanks for the support, folks!