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I HATE MYSELF

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0_equals_true
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17 Oct 2007, 2:49 pm

riley_joe wrote:
Why the f**k can't I be normal?
I've been f**** my whole life. Always a freak. Always different.
It was really noticeable in elementary school when people were freaked out by my unusual vocabulary...
My mom: "Talk like a regular person. Avoid big words."

I'd love to just, for once, be loveable. You know? The kind of person people think are cool... a good companion.
Not the kind of person that people love for a while, as a novelty, and then disregard because I simply am not a good peron to know.
I just can't relate to people. I always say the wrong things. I don't understand what they are feeling.
The first time I met someone:
Them: "Hello?"
Me: "Hi. I'd ask your name, but I prefer numbers. Then you could tattoo it to your wrist, a human barcode. Hehe."
It made total sense to me. Quite funny, I thought. A social commentary.
Them: "I'm a vegetarian."
ME: "Well, I'm glad you aren't a vegan. They are GLORIFIED ANOREXICS."
Then I was told that was rather strange for the first exchange of words. Why is that strange?
I've never had a long lasting friend. Not a close one. Can you blame people? Hahaha.
I just hate my brain. I hate everything about my brain. Myself. My essence.
And there's no cure.

That is funny. :lol: You can't please everyone. Some people are just not rational.

Once I was working late it this horrible place and this secretary walked over to a group near and she mentioned how she had this paper cut, and showed to it to everyone and people they acting all grossed out. So she quipped 'I haven't got da AIDS!'

Without even thinking I was saying it out loud I said 'no but you got da Gonorrhea' :D

Well it didn’t go down too well. Apparently that is sexual harassment.:? It seems that that while it was fine for her to make a joke about AIDS victims her own reputation was more important just to take the comeback. My boss said he would put it down to not being socially experienced or something like that. What's more he made a point of saying it is ok so say that in front of the lads but not in front of a woman. Talk about double standard.

Trust me there are many double standards. There are many people that will get away with saying exactly what you said, they just have the confidence and delivery. You might want to research some comedians you like, maybe pick up some tips with voice inflection. I’m not too good with it myself.



tweety_fan
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18 Oct 2007, 12:00 am

I have to say I do have a lot of self hate feelings too, they come into my head and then go out again, then come in again. I like to say to all u peeps that u are not failures or freaks. It is not your fault that people around you do not get who you are. (i hope i can believe this statement in a personal sense.)

I want you all to be the best you you can be :)



Yog-Sothoth
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18 Oct 2007, 4:39 am

Having AS can certainly suck, but try having AS and being a pedophile, and on top of that being in constant physical pain and not being able to walk very much. They all feed off each other and the problems that come with one grow worse because of problems caused by the other (if that made any sense). I wouldn't say I hate myself, because I am self centered and I have an inflated ego, I think I am too awesome for me to hate me. I also wouldn't say I am suicidal, because suicide is emo and cowardly. A real Viking would never commit suicide, a real Viking would fight to the end, despite any wounds or pain, no matter how severe. My point is, I have nothing to live for and I won't go to any extraordinary measures (like wearing a seatbelt) to stay alive.



Eire
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25 Oct 2007, 10:10 pm

0_equals_true wrote:
Once I was working late it this horrible place and this secretary walked over to a group near and she mentioned how she had this paper cut, and showed to it to everyone and people they acting all grossed out. So she quipped 'I haven't got da AIDS!'

Without even thinking I was saying it out loud I said 'no but you got da Gonorrhea' :D


I would have laughed. :lol:



michel
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25 Oct 2007, 10:13 pm

Kilroy wrote:
no-I feel the same way as you-except I have no friends

That is not true. You have us. 8)