Really disgusted

Post Reply New Topic

I can't even talk about what's on my mind, partly because someone who knows me will probably see it and I don't want that to happen. There are also people on this board who are unrelentingly vicious against a person like me.

I keep talking about hope but when I see things in the news I don't feel like I want to live or exist in any form anymore. Every f*****g thing that I want in my life someone takes away from me. I can't even keep my income because one someone is passive aggressive and is getting revenge against the world through me.

There are a lot of people out there who live to find others weaker than they are and to put restrictions on their lives and to profit from that. There are people on this forum who do this to people also, and I guess that the profit is intangible. The world would benefit from the inactivation of those people. I don't understand how they even manage to do their damage. People don't like them, they don't like knuckling down to them, they don't like having them around, and it is often literally death threats that keep most of us from overthrowing them. Their only power is the power to be unrelentingly vicious against all that lives. The rest of us let them do what they want because we're too tired, don't have the time, don't have the balls, and so on.

Why even live if we're not going to do something about this s**t? I don't believe spiritualist garbage about the Earth having to be some kind of Hell to educate us or something. I think that's just a way to excuse not giving a damn while the damned take from us.

you can't change anybody but yourself.

yeah, so the NT jerks are out, and about, loud and proud; whatever...

dont let them get in your head. get in their head, instead.

one more cliche: some people see things as they are, and they say why? I see things that never were, and say, why not?

We're smarter, and better, you know? you do know that, don't you???

dig my aspie songs, with love, from me to you'

http://www.myspace.com/mikegeorgemusic

Just another point of view, please do not take personally...
I really think you need to look at yourself, if others are effecting you so badly - why...

Quite often angry is the start of depression. Try and figure out exactly what's setting you off - then try and change the situation and/or the environment, also develop some techniques for handling anxiety when it does turn up.

Sometimes changes as simple as changing the lights, lowering sound levels, reorganizing the schedule, or counting to ten can make all the difference.

Just having someone to listen and understand can completly change a situation around, and their are lots of people here willing to do that, but only you can really make any big chages in your life.

.

Sometimes I just have to whine and rant.

and your not the first aspie I know who feels the need to have to rant on, so your not alone...

When stupidity wins, that really gets my goat. It even seems like somehow I am the one who could, should, or at least might come up with an effective defense against stupidity but it evades me. I literally feel like people are saying that because they are stupid, I should obey them. Stupid ideas that lawmakers want to make law are somehow more protected and more enforced than intelligent ideas.

And since I am pretty active on the net, I have one more frustration: I can't spell out a lot of this crap here. People will know who I am just from the subject matter. I feel a little too unique. It's one reason why it's a relief just to post controversial stuff under my own name somewhere because then they can't connect it with other online idents.

Railing against the cruelty of others seems to just make it worse.

! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! you decide, because you will anyway so ! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Nothing wrong with that, often just the physical fact of writing it down helps.

I find that writing down some of what i feel on places such as here helps me to focus exactly what I'm thinking.

Often there is so much whizzing around inside my head it's hard to get a definate point across

Some people see things as they are, and ask, "Why?" Others see things as they should be, and ask, "Why not?" I see things that aren't there, and ask, "Are you sure these are the right meds for me?"

I know a lot of people are in a similar mental state. How many of us have felt like it's our own "fault" that we are in bad situations or are unfairly punished? I can trace a lineage of bad things that were done to me with the purpose of damaging my life, and in almost every case someone said that they did it to me for my own good or because I was bad, which was sort of the same thing.

I spent some time buying into it before I realized that most of the people who did this to me were thieves, liars, bullies, drug addicts, psychopaths, sociopaths, and even perverts. There are also of course scammers, a subset of sociopaths.

The unifying principle is that people often tell other people that they are wrong, doing something wrong, or something is wrong with them, to gain money and power over people. As long as their victims think that cooperating with the scammer will gain them something, or gain them the return of something that they lost, the scammer has power. PETA has been working this scam for a while, in full confidence of the fact that if they can't convince their marks that there is something wrong with them, they can convince the marks that there is something wrong with their neighbor. What might their neighbor be doing with their dog behind closed curtains? You know it's wrong because according to "principle" even letting the dog sleep on the couch is a form of abuse if the owner is the wrong owner, or if the owner is human, or if the dog is not outside free to roam, and at the same time no responsible owner allows their dog to roam around free.

Or what is your neighbor doing with his child? You know he's a pervert if he's a male between the ages of 13 and 130, and sometimes younger or older. I have to be facetious about this because it gets so ridiculous. In other words, he's under suspicion because the social helper organization that wants your money says he's suspicious for reasons that look good at first but that don't stand up to intelligent analysis.

When I analyzed what my mother would scream she would hit me. So would kids at school. They tried to teach me to turn off my critical faculties. They tried to beat this into me. You see people talking to themselves on the street corners and maybe screaming about people trying to steal their thoughts. Maybe that's what they went through. I went through that. It's like people stealing your thoughts and judgment. They make you feel like they are telepathic and no thought is safe. In a lot of Chinese villages they simply beat intellectuals to death.

I know what a person should think of another person who says "There is something wrong with you, I should rule your life." The last person who tried that on me actually went to my boss and said that I wouldn't let him "help" me when he was messing up my work. I could call it a "deadly do-gooder" or "dysfunctional, sleazy bastard do-gooder." It's often hard to convince people that they have to be stopped before they wreck everything.

No, I can't live with them controlling who I can work for, what jobs I can hold, what animals I can keep, what substances I can ingest, where I can live, what dreams I can fulfill, what sex partners I can have. I can't live with my blood freezing when I hear or read certain words, or with people being able to manipulate and control me. I can't live with a little son of a b***h who gets a hold on me who has no reason to do it, who does it just because he can, and he'd better leave me alone for the rest of his life or it could be the rest of his life. He's not going to do that s**t to me again and keep all of his teeth.

Emotional violence becomes a lot worse than physical violence.

And what if you aren't on meds and see them?

My mother and my teachers deliberately made my life hurt me as much as possible. They and poeple like them did the same thing to millions of other children. It's why there are so many human-haters out there who also do weird things with animals. I realized early on that they did the things that they do to take life away from humans. Humans are symbiotic with just about any animal that they live with. Any such relationship enhances life. Those who claim that we are "unfit" do so with the purpose of fueling their anger towards other humans. They have a revenge motive. It isn't just to kill humans. That would be too kind for them. It is to make human civilization a cold and lonely hell. The ones who say that we are "unfit" fit a pattern. Always, whatever wealth there is, someone declares most of humanity unfit to own it. Then the same ones apparently think that they are above humanity. They might be attached to some religion or other spiritualism that makes them think that they are better than other humans.

They use that wealth, be it in animals, gold, or energy, to enhance their own lives at the expense of others. I don't even know how they can enjoy that. I suppose that they are psychopaths who disconnect themselves, for real, from the feelings of others. I think that people like us can't connect with them because they don't have real empathy. I've been beaten out of empathy with other humans, too. If I didn't have animals to have contact with I would be dead. However it happened, I literally would have been unable to sustain life. Do I think that they care? The U.S. routinely sorts out its most capable people and puts them through a meatgrinder. We can't afford this. We really can't even afford to do this to other countries.

The people who are most successful at dominating humans in this century are killing me and a lot of other people. They pretend that it is for the environment and other animals. Like I said, they even live the lives that they would deny others. They do what they can to keep me out of that kind of life. I can't even approach the most reasonable of the bunch to try to get a chance to work with them because I live in fear that if I do, someone will find some way to tear me up. That's how I've always felt about having a job, driving, writing a book, inventing something, or doing anything that might lead to success in life. I even have help right now to keep me in a self-defeating pattern. Husbands who get up and walk away from their families often have good reason.

Humans really are f***heads when they buy into certain things. We come up with complex ways to defeat ourselves, that aren't easily defeated by logic, reason, or even threats. Some of us think we deserve to beat ourselves up like this, and I think it's dangerously insane. It's wrong, OK? I've had to hold still for people's deliberate destruction of my life, all my life. This kicks in every time I try to be responsible, legal, straight-arrow, in short, a good person. I am being punished for being good, for working, for doing the right thing to the best of my ability. The people who punish me are drug addicts, whores, lazy bastards, domineering bastards, viciously destructive bullies, animal rights nuts, and others.

I have also watched while they routinely take away the rewards that other people have earned. One thing is for certain, that most animal rescues, humane societies, animal rights groups, and the big animal rights charitable organizations are thieves of the worst kind. They turn some humans against others and use the usable ones to take life away from them. They even swindle your grandmother into paying for it. So it sounds like a political diatribe but I've been hit personally by this and my future is limited by this. There is no limit to the amount of abuse that they will use against a good citizen, right up to murdering us, burning us out of our homes, and murdering our animals. All the while they pretend to be good people on missions of mercy.

Nil bastardo carborundum.

Thank you, Pandora.

That's okay, Remnant. Actually, I feel pretty sh#tty right now too.