slightly serious relationship problems

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never mind....

Last edited by poopylungstuffing on 19 Oct 2007, 7:00 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Have you tried discussing this with him? That might be the first step.

Tim

Yeah....of course I have tried discussing it with him...

Then you should do whatever you feel is best for you.

Tim

If he's still obsessed with her, then he's not over her, so he certainly isn't committed to you. That sounds like a pretty serious problem.


That's perfectly reasonable.

I really don't like playing devil's advocate in this sort of situation...but is that the worst possible outcome? If you aren't happy, and you don't think he will really change, then you will likely stay unhappy. Even if what's to come after such an outcome looks bleak, it is a guaranteed change, a change that could turn out to be good.


Depending on you, then making you feel guilty if that may not always be an option? I'm reaching a bit, but I figured I'd guess at it.

Well, from what little I can remember about Super Happy Fun Land from when I went there on New Years several years ago, it is a pretty cool place. That being said, even with the possibility or likelihood that you would end up living with your parents for some amount of time, you should never feel the need to "put up with this crap."

That doesn't sound fair to you. I know I wouldn't be able to do the same, to detach myself from someone, stop being interested in them, and remain friends with them, so they can go off and be with someone else.

If you feel like the guy will grow tired of you because you have grown older, then it isn't the right guy. Unless he's managed to stop the aging process, he's getting older too, so that's far from a fair thing to do.

A lot of it has to do with finding the right person. I had completely given up around the start of the summer, and then basically found someone like you would find a wall when walking around a room with no lights on. Unexpected, but, well, incredible.

I'm reading through the reponses, and feel sad for you.

Relationships are so difficult. If he can't get over a 19 year old, then he doesn't deserve you....

We generally have a really happy peaceful relationship...and Flakey says that were I ever to leave, he would just come after me again....(like the last time)...(and the time before that..when he broke up with me and then came after me once I had decided to move on)

For the past few months I have put up with his squeaky hyperactive teenaged ex (he dated her while we were broken up the last time)....hanging around us all the time....it took me a long time before I could stand to be in the same room with her... But for the last few months she has sorta been "part of the furniture"....(i won't go into the reasons why)..Granted...it hasn't been easy getting used to having her around.I can have meltdowns around her....because her big bubbly(nt) personality overwhealms me....I have posted previous rants about being bugged by her....

Anywoo...she HAS a horrible boyfriend who live 1000 miles away...and because she has gone to see him, Flakey is all panicky and emotional....this stupid drama has been going on between them for a few days now...
and expects ME to somehow sympathise???

I am emotionally drained and very annoyed...
I hate it when Flakey boils everything down to him "Just being crazy"
I know I am emotionally immature...but that really takes the cake.

realisticly...he is not one to leave me just because I am older and fatter....it is just natural insecurity that goes along with being older and fatter...also he says that "noone escapes from him"....even if he breaks up with them...(which is what is happening between him and his ex)...and has happened between us in the past....

It is a cycle of behaviour that he really needs to get over...

Staying in a relationship only because you don't like the alternative (i.e. living with mom and dad) is not a good reason to stay in a relationship. It's not fair to you or to him. You should be there because things are good and you care for the person, not to avoid going home. It doesn't sound like an ideal situation either way, but maybe if you get out of this relationship, you can move forward (even it it takes a few steps back initially) instead of stagnating unhappily. You first need to decide whether you're there because you want to be, or because your pride is at stake.

I care a whole lot about flakey, but he can be so wreckless and impulsive and there is nothing I can do about it....then he has this bizarre contrillong streak...I am mainy upset because he is all torn up over his ex right now....and it is causing him to act kinda crazy.

He is more-or-less the only person I am comfortable communicating with.

You might have already asked him this, but has he told you why specifically he is upset about it? What particular part is making him panicky and emotional about the situation?

It is a long long story....I have already said more than I should about everything.

He has said that he is emotionally messed up over her..basicly not doing what he wants her to do...

He has admitted to being "emotionally involved" with her...

and while I agree that what she is doing is very stupid...Flakey is emotional over it in the way that a person gets when they are upset over something that someone they are romanticly involved with is doing...

...and they do spend a whole lot of time together....and um.....

I guess it boils down to Flakey saying he still loves me while having romantic/controlling feelings for someone else....and I am pretty sure (he has not denied it)..they have been carrying on a romantic relationship behind my back.

yep...it has been confirmed

and all this time I thought we had a great relationship, and I trusted him.....

Everyone on WP is here for you if you need us, and we hope things will get better for you.

Tim

thanx

I wish I had some place to go that wasn't my parent's house.

Eh...this isn't much more than empty words, but try not to look at it like the final destination, more of a layover. You had somewhere else to live already, who's to say it won't happen again any time soon?

That sucks.