Can't stand the pressure and hostility... Help...

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Everywhere I go people have known each other long, make unreasonable demands on me, and when I don't give in, ignore me all together as a block.

In the building where I live, at work, everywhere.

Then everyone points at me as the unsocial one.

But they demand I do things that they themselves would NEVER find acceptable to do. They've even admitted that they would never do those things. Like my neighbours (whom I hardly know) demand I always notify them when I go away for more than a week. Since I don't, they're hostile to me.

Why are your neighbors demanding to know when you are away? Are they planning to have your place burglarized? Or don't they say? I have an acquaintance that is always asking me to do things that I don't want to, or can't do. For instance, we both suffer from chronic illnesses, and we have ME/CFIDS in common. This causes extreme fatigue and generally lousy feelings. Yet, she has asked me to accompany her to a dentist appointment. This would involve getting up very early, and sitting around in a waiting room all morning, and then driving her home. When I refused, she got snippy with me. A month later, she asks me to accompany her on a long drive to another city, to see a specialist, when I have told her repeatedly that I can't take long rides, on account of back pain. She suddenly didn't want to chat on the phone anymore.

While it may seem selfish to others, I no longer do anything that I don't want to do. I have to look out for myself.

I just can't stand the hostility when I don't give in to their unreasonable demands. I can't go on living like this.

The neighbors claim they were worried about me because I wasn't home for a couple weeks. It's not true, though, because if they were worried they could've called me to make sure I was ok.

If the neighbors were good, trusted friends of yours, maybe their demands to be informed of your agendas would be reasonable. But in your situation, I would be suspicious. I have heard of neighborhoods where people actually tell others that they plan to be away, so that the neighbors can keep an eye on their place. Maybe that's what they want you to do? IMO, that's just more of that phony NT nosiness posing as concern, but I can't really be sure. Have you looked into assertiveness training? That helped me enormously.

IMO that's a good idea.

If any of your neighbours moved, would you keep in contact? IF work colleagues changed jobs to a new company, would you keep in contact? Do they invite you in for dinner or a drink?

It's probably not a good attitude, but I don't expect people to like me, so I just say to myself "fuck-em". Most people's opinions and what they think are not important to me. (but don't get the wrong impression, that's not to say that there aren't people who do like me, or I like in return, I just don't expect it). However, for people I do like, I find it very hard to say no to any request.

On another note...are your neighbors older?

I have this...neighbors across the street are in their late 60's no children...they don't go out much (like me )...sometimes people really do worry, and sometimes I think it makes them feel better knowing that someone is home next door.

Of course if you don't trust them or their just shady... telling them anything could be hazardous...as you could likely come home to an empty apartment. Depends alot on the area these days too...I live in a very mellow neighborhood, not much ever goes on.