AS overcomes the stupidity of social encounters?

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I've been finding during dating recently that a lot of the "baggage" or "issues" that girls I am spending time with could easily be dealt with using a healthy dose of our overtly analytical approach to social interaction.

For example, I keep running into girls who have put themselves in positions where they constantly get hurt on a first date, to the point they don't call a first date a "date", but rather "hanging out" to avoid the "emotional burden." Now, had these girls and guys who dated them simply used their higher brain functions to approach said first date like a peace negotiation or business deal, wouldn't there be less of a mess of exposing too much information? Granted, quid pro quo isn't the best way to win a woman's heart, but it does what you want on a first date: gains small amounts of trust over a period of time.

We are supposedly not equipped to understand the social games others play. So, I ask the next obvious question: are those games REALLY necessary? What do they do except waste oxygen and calories? Furthermore, who invented these games, and when?

The only problem I find with mind blindness and a lack of social skills is that I'm often left out of the loop, even amongst my own family, when it comes to new information (such as my time in high school, being the last to learn, during my junior year of course, what credits were, how scheduling worked, and what was expected of me to graduate). Even simple things like where to go to meet girls, or where to party, I still don't know!

But while I am greatly annoyed by that lack of communication, I am also further annoyed that such vital information is only available if you do the right nod, handshake, and say the correct password. Shouldn't you simply be able to go up to someone who is obviously "in the know" and when you ask them, you get more than a sluggish shrug of the shoulders, and be lied to by the NTs?

So, I am left with two options: either the NTs are mindless cattle left for the superior Aspies to herd to the slaughterhouse, or we must consider them our greatest adversary, and fight a constant war of attrition against them in our Social Cold War.

We'll never get any respect if we keep hating NTs. You just have to remember that they are acting the way that is natural to them and we have to try harder to educate the public about AS.

Trying to understand why NTs do the things they do is probably very similar to NTs trying to understand the things Aspies do.

I'm only guessing, but those social games NTs play seem to be as necessary to them as stimming is to us. They're both methods of control, and NTs and Aspies alike get scared when things are out of control. Even if it's just an illusion, like calling a date "hanging out" it helps to control the panic and hurt when things don't work out as expected.



Social Cold War? I can't say for anyone else, but I'm not fighting a war with anyone. I'm not out to destroy or force a change to anyone's way of life.

I do have some thoughts about the "cattle" comparison, but I'm not quite able to get them into words at the moment.

Educating the public only adds to the assumption there is something so wrong with us that the rest of the world has to adjust the way it works to suit us. I don't know about you, but the idea I need "help" is disgusting. I don't need help, and I don't need people's sympathy. What I need is to be taken seriously and shown the respect I deserve for behaving like a professional at work, and not being patronized because I don't know how many winks, twitches, or smiles are in the secret code.

If I give a presentation on an idea, I should not be judged any differently because I remain stoic. ll that matters is the information, and presenting the information in a way the audience can understand. That has nothing to do with reading their social cues, but rather expecting the audience to ask questions if they are confused, or more importantly, interested.

Insisting on being understood simply makes us appear weaker in their eyes. They take pity on us, and patronize us like we're their brainless pet dogs who need them to walk us, and train us. All we want is to be shown the dignity we deserve, and that dignity comes from the NTs simply treating us with the respect and courtesy expected some fifty years ago amongst individuals who would introduce themselves for the first time. Civility is all I ask, and if the NTs are incapable of that, preferring instead to use social games to eliminate the undesirables, then they WILL face me and the Social Cold War.

A refreashingly uncharacteristic attitude among aspies.

Thank you.

It just annoys me how we want to be "understood". Understanding is just double-talk for wanting to cheat our way through life, and get a buddy with the social connections to give us the answers. I don't want that. I will never feel satisfied with my abilities unless I accomplish my objectives on my own.

Don't listen to what others tell you. Help is for pansies.

I think it is more about getting information about the 2 different communication styles out there. Aspies want NTs to know that we communicate more through literal words than weird hidden meanings and cryptic body language. I dont think aspies want to change NTs communication style, we just want more easy interpretation between the 2 styles.

Well, I still wish that I was better understood by the people that I work with, but I've pretty much given up on that. Only an aspie can really appreciate what it's like to be an aspie.