Self-Sabotage: Cannot, Cannot? Yes You Can
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postx54625-45-0.html
This is a Spin-Off of another post on something here I see that is pretty disturbing.
There is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm a failure, I'm a failure. I'm a failure.
You then intentionally set impossible standards that you know you cannot reach. Then naturally when you don't achieve them, you then say to yourself: I'm a failure, I'm a failure.
How on earth do you gain the respect of others and show that an Aspie can be an asset if you don't make the effort to get out of a self-defeating mindset and show you are a can-do person?
Sorry if this will be taken as a slam but I cannot be the only one who feels this way.
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Not through revolution but by evolution are all things accomplished in permanency.
Well, self-pity will not get a person anywhere, but it's nice to have someone listen (and offer advice if asked to do so) when I'm feeling down; that's what I thought the haven was for.
We're prone to depression and obsession; put those two traits together and it's no wonder that self-pity can result.
postpaleo
Veteran
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Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Age: 74
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,134
Location: North Mirage, Pennsyltucky
I don't need to click on the link and to a good degree I think you're correct. I can remember making a very conscious decision very early in life to push myself and it has taken a toll on me over the time till now. It has taken some pushing on my part to "get out there". But....lol, you knew it was coming.... There are times that I freeze in my tracks, sometimes over very simple things and to this day I don't exactly understand why. Probably over think it and that in itself isn't something I always have control over. It took me a good while to see failed attempts at goals to be of worth. Yeah, maybe I didn't make the goal, but I learned something along the way and that, to me, is never a bad thing.
You can also add in the fact of me being bipolar and perhaps PTSD, that can set you up for not being able to move on the bad days. Has nothing to do with self pity, it's chemical with the Bipolar and if you don't understand PTSD, I hope you never have to really find out. Those are but two examples of what sometimes comes along for the ride. A positive attitude is a good thing, but isn't always there, as hard as you might try. An excuse? I hope not. If you need help getting one, we're here and there are other things that might be done for that positive attitude shift. Hell some days I still need help finding the will to look at a bright side. But been at this thing for a while and I can usually climb my way out of the slime.
You ever get so sick of hearing, this too shall pass? It's seems like you can spend a life time waiting for, this too to pass. Bull s**t, get out while and if you can make your feet move. You aren't going to be around forever. Give it a try, what the hell can they do to you? Give you AS? Sorry, too late, I did that already. I've got other things to do.
Try not to get too disturbed by it. It takes some getting to know people to figure out what might be at the heart of it. It would be nice if it were always a simple thing, but it isn't, not always. But yeah, sometimes a good swift kick in the ass might be in order. Just do it gently, I bruise easy and I have rage issues.
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Just enjoy what you do, as best you can, and let the dog out once in a while.