Dialogues with my therapist

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Therapist: "Why don't you try joining the Buddhist groups?"

Me: "I don't believe in Buddhism"

She: "Buddhism is extremely valuable, you know?"

Me: "What makes you think so?"

She: "Because it's been there for thousands of years! It has to be valuable if so many people have engaged in it for so many years, of course!"

Me: "Many people have engaged in crime for thousands of years too. Does that make crime valuable?"

She: (rolls her eyes and changes the subject)

One more:

She: "Your problem is you're aggressive, that's why you don't have friends."

Me: "Was Hitler less aggressive than me? He had many friends."

She: (rolls her eyes and changes the subject)

a third one, because I'm on a roll

Therapist: "See? Your colleague didn't show anger at the boss when he denied you two a raise after 5 years, and you did. See how your problem is your aggressivity?"

Me: "True. Colleague just smiled sweetly and didn't say a word. She later stole the boss's favorite toy and never gave it back to him. He was very upset looking for it everywhere, and she was roaring with laughter when he wasn't looking.""

Therapist: (rolls her eyes and changes the subject)

You've got material for a stand-up comedy routine.

Therapist: "If she yelled at you and cursed you, it can only be because you were unnice to her."

Me: "So if I yell at someone and curse them, it's because they were unnice to me?"

Therapist: "No. If you yell and curse, it's because YOU are unnice."

Me: ""Then whether someone yells at me or I yell at them, in both cases I am the unnice one?"

She: (rolls her eyes and changes the subject)

Therapist: "If someone is cruel towards you, it's because you were unnice."

Me: "So if they murder me, is it because I was unnice?"

Therapist: "No. It doesn't hold for physical violence."

Yes! You do have a black comedy there! Does therapist understand aspergers?

*laughter*
I get pertty uppity with my supervisor at work,

Me: "Yeah, what do you want?

Sup: "You know you should be a little more respectful what if you act like this to other Team Managers?"

Me: "Well, I'm only like this to you, so I don't see the reason for your gripe, or is it that you don't dig it when I verbally castrate you?"

Sup: "Kinda,"

Me: "Ah, so we have an agreement!"

Sup: "And that is?"

Me: "You not being a wuss, I'm only playing."

Sorry, but not really getting the joke. Are these real conversations with your therapist? If so, then I think you should dump them immediately. Unless they are paying you as this therapist can learn a lot more from you than you can from them.

Coincidentally, my therapist recently told me that she strongly suspects that I may have Asperger's. She's hesitant to diagnose me since she doesn't believe in labels, but it's kind of coincidental how I joined this site to talk to people with equally strong interests, with no real concern that I would be anything but neurotypical.

I'm still convinced I'm an NT with strong AS traits, but, I gotta say, it would explain a lot.

Not too impressed with this therapist of yours, Greentea. Somewhere in between the two extremes of "Everything bad that happens to me comes from external causes" and "Everything bad that happens to me is my own damn fault" lies the truth. Buddhism is about seeing the world exactly as it is, without illusion or expectation. Buddhism is a middle path, not an extreme one.

It's also worth noting that Buddhism comes in a variety of colours and flavours. If you prefer your philosophical outlook and your code of ethics straight up, without the side order of incense and candles, that is certainly available.

P.S. I like your sense of humour.