What triggered your most horrible depression?

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Not caused. Triggered.


Mine was building up from sensory deprivation, but I didn't really know it.


I looked at my horoscope one day, and it said "Y'know, karma isn't always watchin you like Santy Claus. Sometimes it's like the tax-man, and only audits you for short periods of time. Hopefully you'll be readin this before the weekend, cuz that's when the IRS (Intertemporal Reincarnation Service) will be checkin your file, so whatever you do, be cooperative and wear a big smile."


It was already the weekend.


That horoscope reading scared the s**t out of me.


I had never really read horoscopes before. Was this the worst timing in the world or what?


I was so depressed, and was getting pains-- you guessed it-- in my temporal lobe. I had to make extra effort to be happy. My horoscope the next day was so accurate it brought me right down, just as I was starting to make myself feel better.


It said that my self-control was preventing me from indulging a deep sadness. And that was so true.


I felt like a part of me died that weekend, and the part of me that was left was mourning it, and wondering if it would ever be happy again.


When my (and my mother's) horoscopes kept being so frighteningly true-- talk about a playful frolic after a playful frolic, talk about a person, probably female, from a different culture in my mother's that said she might be intrigued by, and she WAS talking to a female from another culture and curious, asking questions... how I was sad and scared about my soul and my horoscope then told me to get on with life, "to have more, desire less", to not care so much about something that barely makes a difference that I can't control (and that piece of me that had died HAD been a small piece, but a piece nonetheless!)... and in my mother's it said that a child would have a temper tantrum, and that was the day her 17-year-old niece (my cousin) "cursed her black and blue" and yelled at my aunt (her mother, my mother's half sister) not to help us financially any more... the horoscopes just kept being so scarily accurate. Which gave me more evidence that my soul was really dead. Trapped forever in a container that could never open because it was too solid and compressed, and the piece of soul was too big to fit through any hole there might be.


Stuff in my mother's horoscope about jobs, and talking to her mother, also came true, though she talked to her mother AFTER I told her about that being in her horoscope.

It was when my first girlfriend cheated on me, nearly 9 years ago.

Tim

Heartbreak and a bleak prediction of the future

my elderly dog wimpered, crawled across the room, collapsed and died in my arms. two weeks later i had to have my 16 year old cat put to sleep. they wouldn't let me be with him while they killed him. they were my family.

that pretty much did it. though i was already depressed at the time.

When I was 26 I was told I had to have major, body-altering surgery for my Crohn's disease or I was not going to live long enough to raise my children. I had the surgery, my husband was also cheating on me at the time and I was raising 3 kids aged 3 yrs, 2 yrs and 6 months. I had a 2 week visit in the psychiatric ward when it all became unbearable.

Losing the man I loved three times in a row.

Some one I talk to who runs an meerkat santuary in CA wrote to her friend who is a producer for animal planet after showing her a story I wrote (she did not have my permission to show it to her in the first place) and the producer had once made a documentary about people with Autism but it was only supposed to be so many minnutes long but she could not cut it so it never got made. She then wanted to fly me out to my friend's meerkat santuary. And then to Africa which I had dreamed about visiting since I was old enough to comprehend to see wild meerkats. I was more excited than I ever was. But Animal Planet would not fund it. We suspect it was because they were working on Meerkat Manor and did not want two meerkat shows aring at the same time. I even wrote to my "friend" who runs the meerkat santuary several times and she won't write me back anymore. A part of me died when I found out it would never happen and it can never be reserected and I have another reason to hate meerkat manor.

My mother (most definitely ASD) slept with my then boyfriend in my livingroom

(I know, I know, VERY Jerry Springer, but not really, if you know what I mean?)


(man~it feels good to be able to tell the world!)

Trigger for cause:
School failing to give proper education on high school (no order, no structure, alot of noise) causing my A average drop to the depths.

Cause for depression / PTSD
Then them blaiming me for the next 3 years for being lazy and arrogant, making fun openly in the class of me, turning the classmates against me, while I worked my arse off alot, thinking it was my own fault because I was loyal to the teachers. Meanwhile ignoring several specialists / psychologists and being arrogant / ignorant themselves.

finding out the people i love are just using me... in one or many ways... and to think that i still love them despite that... and am thus pathetic

Divorce. Not the fact that I didn't live with my spouse anymore. But all that had been wrong the years before the divorce was buried and came out of the grave after the divorce.

Having a crush/infatuation that I know will not be fulfilled. It happens more than I'd like and always sends me into a downward spiral. Being repremanded does it to me too - I don't take criticism well.

It happened around when I was 13. I was struggling in school, and my parents were very strict about grades. So to "motivate" me, they threatened to divorce unless I raised my grades. (They already argued constantly, as far as I can I remember.) And I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about it. That pretty much sent me sent me into depression, although my parents simply blamed it on me, saying that I was pretending to be sad to avoid studying. I even had to make up homework assignments that didn't exist, just so my parents would believe that I'm getting my grades up.

Eventually I managed to get good grades, and even make the honor roll. When the report card came, I didn't feel happy at all, just relieved. My parents, in turn, didn't even recognize my efforts. They said: "you simply did what we expected you to do, that's not a cause for celebration." When I tried to talk about the effort I put in, they responded: "what do you want us to do, dance for you?"

the two worse ones:

when my gf of 5 yrs + broke up with me.

accumulated bullying and feelings of isolation as a child that made me feel suicidal at one point.


others: at a time when i was feeling extremely cut off and isolated form people, finding out that a girl I liked was taken; a disastrous party that made me feel like the most pathetic social failure ever; once a nice girl was truying to have a friendly chat with me and I was completely unable to respond even though I wanted to, to the point that I just wanted her to leave because I couldn't cope.