My Random Topic Place To Rant & Ramble....

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someone kill me please,someone kill me please, i feel i don't belong nowhere at all, I don't fit in at all.Please someone shoot me.If you don't give me the gun I'll shoot myself,my life is so depressing,sad & boring. It sad when I nothing at all & hopes & dreams flushed down the drains like my life is dead & no longer breathing. It's dead like me a walking zombie who is dead in the inside a empty shell lost, in hell with no way out. Used to be happy a tiny bit until growing up hit me like a ton of bricks now I hate everyone & everything I'm so cold & broken, heart is black & emotionless. When you look in my eyes nothing is there nothing but pain,blood,sweat,tears,sadness,unhapiness,fear,uncertainty & insecurites. Another mindless drone of the screwed up teenage waste. As we grow up everything dies, along with self & uniqueness. We all want to find our place in this world but for me it's like a million times harder for me to get there.Sometimes I feel I should just die cuz it's like hell to get where I wanna be but I wanna prove to everyone wrong that I'm not a loser that I am somebody that's why I'm here on this earth for a bigger purpose more than me or the world.I'm supposed to be more than what I am & teach & help the world.People don't know how hard it is to be me I could barely talk & have to communicate with people by writing or typing cuz if it were up to me to talk I can't get my point across. somone help me plz I need help or a angel cuz I don't what to do now to get there, or where to start I'm having trouble trying to help my own self & no one else could seem to help me or hear me so I'm lost voice uneard. I wish there was a school for people like me to help them cuz the regular schools can't seem to help my kind by instead they insult us by putting us in places like special ed were not ret*d were just a version of a mentally challenged savante who can't seem to help ourselfs or discipher our own gifted intelligence were not dumb nor ret*d were slow paced gniuses. No one can seem to help me I can't even help myself I'm a lost cause. I think I need a speed tutor to help me find my genius minded self I just need help.Which no one can they just say they can help when really no one has the slightist clue about me & help me just as much as I can't help my own self towards my goals so what do I do then? I dunno even if god could help me I guess I'll just stay lost & dazed & confused trying so hard to defend for myself which is hell & is hard to do. My mind is scatter brain like pieces to a million puzzles all scattered on the ground & can't seem to figure out which puzzle piece goes to which of the million puzzles.

Sweetheart, I looked at your myspace and it's pretty obvious to me, you are going to the wrong school, hon, you could fit in very nicely, and be extremely happy there and in your life if you went to a school for performing arts...it's obvious. Is there anything like that close to where you live? You are an artist dear, and a singer, so just channel your passion in that direction, and you will be ok---you are a singer, you can take classes in acting, dancing,learn to play musical instruments like the piano and the guitar like you want to----it's all about directing your passion babe! I am old enough to be your mum, and if you were my daughter, this is the advice I would give you Keep coming here to wrongplanet, and talk to people, post shorter rants... Kidding...rant all you want but hon, you are not alone. You need a direction and a passion...I think it's performing art school, because you still need an education, of course...if you can't go to a different school, then just make sure you throw yourself into your passion to singing somewhere...put a band together...anything...you know?

Okay, please don't say that you want to die. We all go through times when we want to feel the pain. I'm speaking from experience, although it never got as far as to when I actually hurt myself. Life is hard, so you have to show life that you're hard, too. Don't give in to the pain of the world.

And as for the school thing? I think that "special ed" isn't the best thing ever. Sure, some people in there need extra help, but to put them under a label might kinda give them low self esteem.

Give life all you've got and don't stop trying. And if you need an angel, they're always with you. You just have to know where to look.