I feel awful about school and life and stuff

Post Reply New Topic

We did this group assignment in chemistry all of last week, and today we had a test. It was supposed to be in our lab groups but I sit alone because there's an odd number of people so I took the test alone. Then, it occurred to me that I did not understand the questions on the test. I've read the section in the book multiple times but I don't understand it. I'd ask the teacher but I'd seem like an idiot if we went over it in class and I forgot about it.

In my history class recently my teacher has been giving lectures about how people aren't working hard enough, and even though I'm not sure if I'm guilty of that, his attitude really hurts and makes me feel bad about myself.

Over the past several months I've had this feeling building up inside me that I've screwed my life over. I feel like I'm too lazy and that's why I'm doing terrible in school right now. I also feel like I don't present a positive image of myself to others, and that's why I don't have many friends. I don't even get the same amount of exercise I have for a long time.

I come home several days a week repeatedly muttering various self-deprecating phrases, almost unconsciously, and then I'll start yelling and then I'll start crying. I'll have intense thoughts about suicide or just dying sometimes I can stop for a while if my dog is around, but eventually that won't help me either.

These feelings peak about once a week - it seems like I always manage to do something stupid to make myself feel bad for a day or so, and the frequency is increasing. And I feel like a b***h for always coming back here and complaining, which is exactly why I don't mention it to anyone in real life, because I don't want them patronizing me and thinking about me as "that guy with problems". I'm an idiot, aren't I?

Yes you are but cheer up; so is everyone else. NO EXCEPTIONS!! !!

Seriously, though. I was in a similar boat several weeks ago. I went to a psychiatrist and she gave me welbutrin. Slowly but surely I got much better. I don't want to use this drug forever but it does buy time for me to fix things and be able to deal with life until I do.

If you do decide to see a psychiatrist, there is a chance that he/she might give you more antidepressant that what you need. In that case, if I were you, don't get off the drug. Ask for the dose to be reduced. Also, many of the side effects so ware down with time.

as long as you feel you've done your best in school then you have nothing to worry about.

Ask the teacher the questions and take control back from your anxiety. The rest will improve.

And for the record, there is such a thing as a stupid question. I've asked hundreds of them. I'll ask hundreds more. It's my super power. Nothing can stop me. Don't let anything stop you, either.

I've considered seeing a psychiatrist at times, but I'm afraid of how medication may affect my mental state. I worry that it might adversely affect my personality - either I'll become completely uninhibited and start pissing off people or I'll become even more unstable and commit suicide (or worse).



But I have to get good grades if I want to get to college...everyone's always talking about GPAs and SATs and everything and if I don't do well enough then basically I'm screwed, and it'll have been all my fault.



If I ask now, it'll be embarrassing. Besides, my work average in this term so far is bad enough that I don't want to convince my teachers that I'm a complete moron.

I'm sure people already dislike me, so I don't want to say something stupid and give them even more reasons to dislike me.

Last edited by DejaQ on 11 Dec 2007, 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I feel for ya, 'cause I'm exactly the same.

It's the exact same way as a college student, except you worry about getting into grad school instead. It never stops, and if I come up with a solution for the anxiety, I'll let you know. I already see a psychologist.

If you're young, you might want to think twice about antidepressants; there is a risk for young people. My experience these last few months is that I feel less anxious around people but I don't do anything stupid (out of the ordinary, anyway).

The dose is the key. At the beginning I was taking a bit too much.

You know, you sound almost exactly like I did when I was about your age.

Advice: Never say die.

You should see the movie GATACA. It's kinda inspiring. Our disability is in our brain and not in our heart but otherwise it's a worth while movie.

School is very overrated - they make it like that so that you keep working hard.

If you're already working to the best of your ability, that's fine - ignore the rest. Unless you're doing drugs/alcohol etc... you're not likely to ruin your life (and even then there's room to maneuver).

If the teachers are upsetting you - see your school councillor/support. They're probably not really going to be helpful but they get paid to say nice things.

I was much like you in high school, i would never ask for help because people to think of me as "that guy with problems". I think you should just ask the teacher if you have a problem and forget what everyone thinks about you. If people think bad things about you they are immatre idiots and just ignore them. I didnt get very good grades and i left school early because i never wanted help.

That makes two of us. I've been that way for quite awhile.

Take your dog for a walk. They work wonders and do not charge extra. Work on what works. Then pick another problem.

School is a problem, so work on out of school. It works.

You are reacting to school, then coming home and reacting to reacting. Take the dog for an hour walk every day and everything will inprove. Knots are untied by picking apart the edges.

I don't know how many more years I can do this.



I have to keep a reputation - I've had high honors most of last year and first term this year. What will it look like if I start slipping up now? The teachers / my parents will think I'm not trying if I start getting low grades because I'm not working hard enough.



I'm afraid of my teachers, especially my history teacher. He always tells us how he thinks all of us could be in advanced placement classes but we're just too lazy, and how we're lazier than his college sequence-level classes. My other teachers seem to show some kind of disdain for me when I make a mistake. I feel like my work has really slipped lately and I'm not sure I want to hear what they have to say about me.

Well, there's no way in hell that you're a bigger mess than I am, and yet I manage to do it. Take it one day at a time, and if you feel anxiety ridden, look at the clock and think to yourself, "It's only ____ hours until it's over."

I know it sucks, man, but it's just the way our system is set up. Plus, your situation is really common. Ever hear of "senioritis" or the "senior slide?"

Sorry. I didn't mean to start conveying a "my problem's worse" attitude.



Well, things cool down by the second half of the day, when I only have a study hall, lunch, and a computer class (which I like because I can go and explore at my own pace, as long as I'm learning something about the software). That class gives me some relief because I get along with most of the people in it. But when I go home, I'm alone for several hours. I end up thinking about my day and all the negative stuff will just hit me.



I think so, but I should mention is that I'm a junior.

First of all, this is probably me being a typical aspie who can't stop words falling out her mouth, but I always thought you were really pretty and now you say you're still at school I feel really guilty. You didn't need to know that. Anyway...

I know what its like when everyone expects you to get amazing results and then you don't understand something - you feel like such a fraud. Probably the only way to cope with it is to completely lose all sense of shame, and the second something goes over your head say you're sorry but you didn't understand that. This will be of enourmous relief to your classmates who probably didn't get it either.

It is actually physically impossible to screw up your life when you're still at school. I mean, apart from committing a serious crime or maybe impregnating someone. Those things would f**k up your life. As for exams, you have the rest of your life to re-take them, or even go for totally different qualifications. You have the rest of your life to make friends and its a lot easier once you're out of the education system!! !

I agree that casual friends can get put off by people who seem to have problems, but close friends and family would probably want to know you're upset?

You are not an idiot, no.