I can communicate better with NTs.

Post Reply New Topic

You'd think having Asperger's Syndrome means you relate to others with AS on levels beyond that of what can be accomplished with an NT.

I don't think so. I talk to fellow Aspies on messenger, and their lack of communication skills... and 50/50 conversation exchange... disturbs me. I think I've been hanging around and intermingling with NTs so much that social skills, cues, are registered better with me than with many of the aspies I have met.

This puts me in an interesting, if not moreso isolating place. I can't quite fit into the NT world (I can for a while, but it gets tiring, and it's not my natural habitat)... and I find that I can even less fit into the AS world, because my social skills have been developed so well over time.

Why do I need to revert to old, crude, non-social ways... just to communicate better with my aspie brothers and sisters...

I guess this thread is to find like-minded people who are at this same place. Because I'm not going to leave you all in the dust (the AS community as a whole) to masquerade as an NT. That feels like I'm betraying you, and that's the last thing I want.

Though not entirely similar, I find myself in a related place.

I have judged myself to be in exactly the right social skill level to be able to communicate with other aspies comfortably--though, I will concede, mostly those of a similar social skill level--and meaningfully, if not quite comfortably, with NTs. I've yet to master all of the nonverbal cues and such.

I think the explanation for that is that for most of my (social) life, I've been surrounded by aspies. I say most of my social life because I've really started to blossom socially since entering high school, and my high school is a science and math magnet school (read: aspie magnet school.) I feel that because I've been mostly around other aspies, all of our (i.e., the students) social skills have received a great boost.

While I do wish that I could communicate more effectively and comfortably with NTs, I am confident that the ability will come in time.

There are some AS people that I have a hard time with..mainly the extroverted ones.
I work with a very AS-ish older lady who drives me up the wall....makes me want to scream half the time....

Most of my peers may not be classic diagnosed Aspies (neither am I)...but they are not exactly NT either. I like them just fine....but I really can only be social for only brief stints of time with most people without getting mentally exhausted.

During the ice storm late last year, when my power was out due to fallen tree branches on wires, I stayed with an elderly lady... a distant relation that has always been really fond of me, because of my sense of humor and physical strength (she has a lot of belongings that she compulsively rearranges around the house).

Anyway... she was always asking me if I would like something to eat. I'd eat dinner, she'd ask if I wanted more, and the only way I could get her to stop is say: "Sure, you can make me some [insert whatever]." She was so generous! I put on a few pounds while I was staying there naturally... if there's another ice storm like that next winter, I think I'll settle for a hotel. The old lady was a splendid cook. It's just that she annoyed me with so many food offers.

It was cute though.

Thanks everyone for the engaging-ass conversation.

*bump*

Communing with NTs

(Note: I say communing, not communicating.)

I used to think that as I got older communication would be easier, as if age would mellow me. Nothing could be further from the truth. I find I am just as out of touch with NTs in my fifties as I was in any of the decades of my life. I have never looked as though I am in the age bracket I am in. NTs sense something is different. They always have. This only bothers me to the extent that it affects me financially, as I need to support my family. However, I can empathize and express that I am glad that other people living on the Autism Spectrum have been able to connect postively with NTs. There is hope for them, after all.