Intelligence = Curse

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Lately I have been really down on myself and find that I am having a harder and harder time getting out and feeling good about myself. Today I came to a conclusion why this is so, I am just to intelligent for others. Let me explain further, I feel that in any given group of people I have to dumb myself down just to fit in. I hate that, I want a group of friends who can think at my level and be able to communicate their thoughts without using profanity and or slang. I want a group of friends who talks about philosophy, religion, politics, and other such areas of interest. My mind is so frustrated with todays society, what happened to all the people who have curiosity for knowledge, not just for money but for building their own minds to become a better person. Maybe this is why I get along with "Adults" more so then I do with "young adults". Or maybe I was just born in the wrong time era, what I would give to live in the 1800's. Does anyone else ever feel like this? Does anyone have and advise for dealing with something like this? Please........!?!

I've actually been in a good place now for awhle socially. In that I've been able to meet some minds that are both as diverse and fragile as mine.
*usually* I'm both psyically AND socially isolated.

Look in the last place you left yourself.
I gave up-and there they were.

I still don't go and do the things that fill me-I've tried, but am not really welcome: anywhere really; I am full enough for optimism-which is more than I have had; though I gave it freely enough in the hopes that a trend would start to emerge....

You may find others are not so different.

I think about this a lot.

I'm quite intelligent, but I seem to have enough other negative qualities that I can't actually use it for anything.

I would probably trade a few IQ points to be able to function normally in life.

I get really frustrated and somewhat ashamed of myself for having the amount of potential I do and being totally unable to realize it because everyday life is so difficult for me.

Sometimes I'm positive I'm destined to be that person that never marries and can't hold down a job, but has a roomful of tomes on obscure topics and leaves behind hundreds of pages of excellent writing.

Of course, I may be painting myself with a tragic artist paintbrush here. It isn't all bad. I was just thinking about this before I saw this thread and thought it would be a good time to vent about how I need to SORT IT OUT.

I completely understand how you feel. This happens to me all of the time.
When I was at my course last year, I was the most intellegent in the whole class. No, I am not being arrogant, it's entirely true. I was always having to explain what I mean in "easy english" after I commented on something...it was endlessly frustrating and eventually lead me to not comment on anything out of annoyance of having to explain myself to people.
I even feel like this around adults at times...I wonder if I am even meant for this world.

I don't have any advice as I am still trying to figure out how to deal with this, myself. All I can say is...don't try and reduce your intellegence for the sake of others. If you have the potential, then use it for great things!
Intellegence is a GIFT...not a curse. It will only become a curse if you let it rule your life. You sound like someone who has an idea of what they want...so, figure out a plan and go and get it! I'm sure you'll be fine.

as intelligence goes up happiness can often go down.

You have a wonderful gift. You could try looking on websites for social groups that meet to discuss topics of interest to u, that way u won't feel like u have to lower your smarts. you should never lower your smarts.

I feel your pain. I enlisted in the US Army a while ago to be a linguist and intelligence analyst. Everyone who qualified for that particular job had to endure multiple batteries of examinations, aptitude assessments, and logic tests, and had to be well above average intelligence to make it that far, but I made the erroneous assumption that I didn't have to keep "dumbing it down" once I got to the training unit for the Korean language course (my 6th language).

Many of the other Soldiers/students in my class hated me for "getting it" so easily and for being able to answer any question the instructors would ask. It made it worse that I would get very sleepy in class because of my intense PT routine so, rather than getting an Article 15 (punitive action) for falling asleep, I stood (nearly always at parade rest) in class for at least half of the 63 weeks of training. So I stuck out like a big green sore thumb.

It doesn't get easier in most social settings, but *knocking on wood* you will find people you can associate with, most likely very few but still, and not have to dumb it down at all. I have a couple of friends like that and I am VERY grateful for them.

mm I mostly grew out of it, that wanting an intellectual life thing. egghead thing. I became a christian in middle age, so the whole search for wisdom thing ended up there and uh yeah, even though I did a degree I'd have to agree with Ecclesiastes when he states 'of the writing of books there is no end and much learning is a weariness to the soul' or something like that.

..still, I do miss having an intelligent witty discussion with people, (I did know some such companions occasionally), I get so tired of people just wanting to talk about food or gossip or themselves or celebrities, you know, the banalites.

It's an idiocracy.

Amen to that.

Thank you all for your advise, I will try to start applying it to my life. But here is one thing I am not really sure I understand that most of you are saying. I don't understand why I just have to wait for these people to show up or even just forget my intelligence as some of you have said. Isn't there anything I can do other then websites, I am so sick of websites!!

Get a pet? a dog?

I would really like that, but unfortunately I live in the dorms on campus at my college, and they don't let us have pets. I think I might move out next year to an apartment, so I am for sure going to find a place that is pet friendly because I really want a dog.

Well, if I see you bring up an interesting topic, I'm always up for a good debate. You can talk about these things here.

this then may be the time and place to share some of my dx-adventures
& might copy&publish this in the blog i have been planning

in short: 51 now, managed barely to keep afloat in life since 23ish, when
i sort of restarted after losing my one ever steady girlfriend (alway felt
that was more to do with me in that relationship than that both parties
were 'at fault'. meanwhile, i also intuited deeply that 'i had stood no cance at all'

and of course there were all sorts of reasons why this might be so...
broken home; absent father, been bullied, adapted=hidincrowd &c&c

based on introspection, i decided there must be something psychologically wrong (where i used to tentatively ironically think of me as perfectly normal&healthy - possibly as such an exception - and thus only 'mad' because normalcy&health by being 'different': am i mad, or are all the others)

i then sort of postulated several working hypotheses:

- depression?
depressed, yeah why not... but depression sounded much to serious for what i have always referred to as always grey, at times light, at time dark boredom and loss of
interest and motivation

did periodically have those almost obsessive interests, and realized i could set my calendar by those. late november&decenber a write-off; late december a turn toward
more enthousiasm ifyouwill, definitely understand manic phases (april), and then early may i could suddenly feel a turn back; rest of the summer next write-off
until picking up in september
these swings have decreased into almost non-recognizable, and i don't trust them
for bipolarity, as they also concur with the scholastic rhytm: september and january
tend to be the time when there's a new subject to dive into, only to find that it won't
be finished before the downturn, and will remain unfinished forever...

- manic depression?
to this day, i maintain i know something about the manic state, but do not claim 'clinical depression'

- (non-convulsive) a-typical left-temporal epilepsy?
i have had slight 'shakes' very occasionally, and more than that; once ordered to take an eeg, was then taken quite seriously (selfdx totally confirmed)
however, there is no such thing as non-convulsive epilepsy and "one insult is no insult"), on which basis i was now advised aginst driving, and did not get treatment
[[there are some signs possibly narcoleptic and/or sleep-apnoe'ic - which i guess
could come under this heading.
i have heared about 'an epileptic personality'

always been afraid of the subjectivism that seems to be the dx-rule in
professional lalaland, so never allowed myself to get sucked in too far

- there's been interest in Primal Scream Therapy (was not entered in program)
- Creative sort of Therapy, did yield cognitive results, but changed nothing
[[let's just say that any associative verbalisation does have a discovery effect
but NEVER the designed kathartic effect]]
- Gestalt therapie: same problem
[[i do not play games and cannot seriously sit talking to various empty chairs]]
- HypnoTharapie: i simply do not get hypnotized

basically gave up looking

at 31-32 i gave up my uni-study (Linguistics & Literature), just before having to start the final thesis, and not for want of interesting subjects (too many???)
JUST GOT BORED & TOTALLY DEMOTIVATED

got committed for two months "to investigate possible Manic Depression".
Group therapy DID NOT WORK FOR ME

in the end decided to suppose atypical Borderline PD, pd not really being treatable, so i just neede to get used to it. Used to being alone and demotivated and bored - i can still get very old that way; but do i want to

stumbled forward free-lancing in NT professional life, very meagerly; never succeeded in finding continuity in assignments, I AM NOT A NETWORKER,
lost my place & virtually everything, homeless at 51 but for my old room at mum's

been doing manual labour the last year, and got myself out of a job
FOR DOING TOO BLOODY MUCH, WORKING TOO HARD, WORKING TOO GOOD;
i have several times been 'accused' of being too intelligent - it DOES feel like an accusation

WHAT NOW???: around Dec 20 went to gp to get referral for dx on the basis of
schizoid pd (although delusionally schizotypical pd could not be ruled out);

then just before Xmess stumbled on pervasiveness and fell straight onto
WrongPlant.net, instant emotional recognition

a-typical ASS???? got it preliminarily confirmed by an orthopaedic professional;
and last week i entered the diagnostic stages -
neither her colleague psychiatrist ['pp.ps']
nor later hospital psychiatris seem to think ASS, although it is not off the table

both agree i am not a 'psycho-logical' case & in need of psychiatric attention
(which is all i need in practical terms)

2. hospital psychiatrist (two days after pp.ps below):
- possibly bipolar, prepared to keep asd tabled
took me straight off Ritalin after one day, put me on Zyprexa
and on top of waiting list for a fortnight's diagnostic committal,
other hypotheses will be addressed

2. private practice ps, tentatively:
- possible adhd; first take Ritalin to get less hyper & we'll take it from there
- possibly bipolar
- HIQ!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

CAN A HIGH IQ BE A DIAGNOSIS BY ITSELF????????

that would not be very helpful, however ironical;
i cannot see me apply for a job stating sorry, can't do that, too intelligent; or
apply for social security: no point in applying for a job: too bloody intelligent

yes, i think intelligence can be a curse; for practical purposes:
i need a syndrom, preferably of the pervasive kind ))

PS: i am quite aware of co-morbity, no need to point that out in response

BTW:
any dx in itself is an unimportant lable, within NTland however the piece of paper
will function as a voucher or required proof of identity
i shall not use it for an excuse - i aim to take full responsibility as to my debts -
it will provide me with a credible explanatory story