Don't bother reading this it's just an incredibly long rant.

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anything that means something and helps me achieve my goals sooner and with more success that is what I want... I see others laughing and having fun and wonder why am I here just sitting alone and friendless, why am I not with some pretty girl talking to her and buying her food and spending time with her everyday whats so wrong with me that this is where my life has led me to; I'm alone and w/o a single girls number I have no friends and no one to spend any intimate moments or hell in make out with or talk to at lunch time even ahhh I dunno maybe I'm getting depressed to maybe it's to much stress and I just don't see my successes and failures through the right lens maybe I see everything the wrong way maybe I was just given the wrong eyes and these were meant for someone whose not attractive, funny, or nice, maybe they were meant for some jerk who likes picking on people and is always a pervert and stalks women or something. Maybe these really aren't my eyes but if they aren't then whose are they and where are mine?

I’m always confused and I like this girl but don’t know what to do about it. She has a boyfriend one she’s been with for two years, how am I supposed to do anything to compete with that!? I like her a lot and she’s cute but I don’t really think anything will ever happen between us certainly not anytime soon and that is something I’m NOT confused about it’s not even a little noticeable that there is trouble in that relationship so I doubt that there is any and I’m probably just wasting my time.

I like her friend and she seems like she might be fun to be around and I want to talk to the her and ask if she can introduce us, even though we’ve spoken before I just want a chance to spend some time with this girl and get to know her maybe get her number… but really who am I kidding I can’t ask a girl for her number I can’t even become friends with them, they don’t want to spend any time with me outside of that club so I doubt that she even likes me as a friend even…

God it’s so awful and I’m pretty sure she knows how I feel meaning I’m wasting my time and she knows I’m doing it. She does things that make me think she likes me then she does things like turns me down when I say I want to hang out she even tells me to give Mr. Donahue some flyers after I suggest that we at least meet so I can give them to her in person, I mean maybe she was trying to be nice but I just want to see her more I don’t want to just see her rarely on the club events that doesn’t help me much at all.

I’m alone and want a girlfriend hell I just want a friend who’s a girl and wants to talk to me on a regular basis, maybe hang out every once in a while maybe go to lunch and actually like me. I’m depressed and alone and when I do things I do them totally alone.

I’m thinking right now about how she spends her time with him and the things they must do that a couple does, and how I couldn’t even possibly know what they do since I’m so clueless. The girls I like seems to be so difficult to get to know and damn it I just want some girls to talk to it’s making me so crazy, and I have a speech to do and all that crap, I’m just freaking out. I hate my life I’m thinking about killing myself a lot more lately Jesus I’m so freaking alone and have no one to spend time with me it just makes me upset I’m sitting here just typing this I’m not even caring anymore, she won’t make any moves and she’ll just turn me down I know she will and I’ll get upset and be depressed some more and she just won’t give a damn then later she’ll act like nothing happened b/c as far as she cares nothing did…

I like all these girls and there’s nothing that I can do about it I can’t take this much more just one to talk to that’s all but you know if I did get her number I’d only piss her off and call her to much so that she has to tell me not to call anymore.

I swear I’m so mad right now this stupid planet wasn’t made for me or anyone like me what the hell am I supposed to do here!? The girls I like either don’t like me or f*****g think I’ll talk to them just because they exist and don’t run away wtf their ret*d even the ones that really like me the best they could ever muster was just standing next to me I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING or they would just stand there forever, and never say a word no matter how much they might want too women are worthless when it comes to nerve or they’re ugly which is worse. I can talk to them first and when I do it doesn’t go badly but I don’t know what to do seriously I just need them to make a few moves and I can do it now better I’m getting better as I get along and not just nerve I’m learning what I’m supposed to do and what I’m not supposed to do but damn it I just want some f*****g success I don’t want a bunch of failures to learn from I want a success to help me feel better about myself and think maybe I can do this a good one like a kiss or something, I want a girl that likes me for more than someone to look at because they think I’m cute but won’t talk to me.

It’s f*****g horrible to like a girl then see her with another guy, what is really stupid is the girls that think I like them then after I talk to them they show up with their boyfriends the next day I don’t know maybe that girl was just a slut or maybe she’s not worthy of any trust all she does is look at other guys everyday in class that’s all she does every freaking day god I’m glad I got out of that class it was boring and I was failing it was just awful.

Damn it I’m so mad at myself I want these things but can’t get the nerve to do them and don’t know what to do, I have to worry about whether it’s normal to say something and if they’ll think I’m some crazy bastard that doesn’t know when he should just go away and shut the f**k up or something and leave them alone. That’s what I have to fear. Rejection I don’t even think girls really know what it is their doing when they turn down a guy they aren’t saying I don’t like you their messing up this guy really bad and hurting him but what do they care they get the benefit of not having to deal with it so what do they know f**k them I hate them some times I really do.

Why do they put me through this if she doesn’t know how I feel then I shouldn’t try because she doesn’t understand me much at all, and if she does then she knows that every time she talks to me it hurts because I know she doesn’t like me the same way damn it. Hell I want to ask her if she’ll let me take her to a strip club b/c she wants to go but her boyfriend won’t take her why the hell do I even want to ask what does it matter she wont want me to go and even if I do ask she’ll either say no b/c of her boyfriend or b/c well damn it I don’t even know but I do know it’s gotta be pointless to ask I mean if I do ask and she says no then I’ve probably f****d up any chance I have with her even just to be near her but if I don’t ask I might be f*****g up another chance to hang out with her. That what I want I want to have fun with her and hopefully give myself a chance to prove that I can be fun and worth spending any time on but damn it I can’t even get her to f*****g have lunch with me GOD DAMN IT SHE DOESN’T LIKE ME DOES SHE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH f**k WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO DAMN UPSET WHAT THE HELL I DON’T WANT TO ASK HER NOW!! ! Humph if she doesn’t like me then why should I bother she just seems to want some guy to tug around for fun or something I really don’t like that at all it just makes me so f*****g mad damn it all.

Does she really not know how I feel or does she just not care about what is happening does she really think that I want to sit by and watch her and talk to her and have all that fun and tell all those jokes only to have to see her go off and damn it be with some one else and god I hate myself so f*****g much right now, I mean what the f**k am I supposed to do about this? Does she like me should I bother trying to be her friend when what I really want isn’t even something she has to give? What am I supposed to do about my feelings for her when she doesn’t even seem to give a damn and it’s obvious I’m f*****g s**t up anyway b/c she thought I was mad at her or something and I heard her say “what’s he mad about?” and she just walks around and I’m not as nice as I usually am to her I know I wasn’t and for a while I didn’t even talk to her or anyone else or excuse myself when I was going to the bathroom or anything, and she wasn’t the only one who noticed and I know what I needed to do but I was just so f*****g upset at the moment I didn’t even want to try and talk to them…. Maybe it was because she didn’t have lunch with me and I had been really happy to hear her say she wanted to but then damn it she went off on her own so I of course just eat alone AGAIN DAMN I HATE EATING ALONE ALL THE TIME f**k f**k f**k f**k f**k!! !! !! >__<

I just wanted to spend a little time alone with her I like her and want to spend time with her but f**k if she didn’t just walk off and eat without me, which of course means that she didn’t give a damn I know it’s kinda crazy to care that much but that wasn’t really the only reason I was upset and I wasn’t even thinking of that when I was mad so I wasn’t mad at her, I didn’t blame her it’s just f**k I was happy about it then she didn’t care so I just walked off and had my lunch at burger king again and alone again, I don’t think she does care certainly not much but I’m alone I can’t wait for her to MAYBE leave her boyfriend and go on a date with me what the f**k does she care she has somebody I’m alone I want someone too damn it I don’t like being alone and horny and no one to even make out with or hold or f*****g talk to more than once a god damn month… She can’t possibly care about me the same way obviously not the same amount but damn it not even a little it seems, I mean I know that Complex said I shouldn’t think I can read people like that and know what they think about me and he said she likes me because of the way she was kicking me in the back when I made jokes, and I thought so too but the other stuff makes it look like she doesn’t like me after all and now I want a way to meet her friend I want to meet her b/c she does seem to like me and I need to get to know her better b4 I can meet her friend and get some time with her. And of course the internet has been down in the dorm rooms for over a f*****g week now and god I’m so f*****g pissed about that I want to at least talk to my online friend but I can’t WHY? b/c the net is down ofcourse it works all the way over in the library where I have to f*****g walk to and don’t want to sit in for hours at a time god dammit arrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaa……………………………………………………………………………. She acts like she gives a f**k about me but then she just doesn’t follow through and it leaves me confused and upset not knowing what I’m supposed to do about this I want an answer I want to hate her and go away and forget she even exists but then she does something that makes me think she does like me then she doesn’t get my e-mails, then I don’t know if she’s ignoring me or not so I can’t always tell if she is or if I’m just being overly sensitive and paranoid which I know I am a lot of the time and it sucks because I’ll only scare her off eventually because I’m crazy or something I dunno god damn it I hate me so much f*****g hell I’m so mad at me, her, her bf, the world god damn I’m so f*****g MAD and really I’m more confused and sad and worried and nervous. I want to ask something like that but if she says no or the others say no I don’t know what I’d do I mean f**k what am I supposed to do god damn. I don’t know what to do anymore, I mean apparently I have to become her friend b4 I can even talk about her introducing me to her other friends which of course I won’t be able to do it’s almost summer and once that’s here it’s pretty much all over I’ll work all summer and then I’ll come back she’ll be with her bf still I’ll be alone, I won’t have friends or the numbers of any girls to call, I’ll just be the same annoying, crazy looking, depressed, lonely, stupid bastard that I’ve always been but hey good news I’ll certainly learn from even more failures and more pain that’s a good thing right hahaha yeah that’s my silver lining right there I get to learn WHY I failed but don’t get to stop failing no no no failure is important for teaching yes please god let me be alone another 21 years I’ll love never having kissed a girl when I’m f*****g 42 GOD WHAT THE f**k DID I DO HUH!? Why do I deserve this I just want to be happy why can’t I find a girl that likes me? No I don’t do it like other guys I don’t try as hard I can’t do that I don’t have that in me I just don’t why do I have to be alone why me I’m kind, and cute, and friendly, yes I’m troublesome sometimes but that’s rare and I’m always loving and forgiving what is it that keeps me alone, I hate having Aspergers it’s made my life a hell, just think what I might be if I didn’t have it…..

Me too man. Me too.

*promptly reads rant*
Girls and the human society are confusing. That's why I'm moving to Japan where key social rules are written in stone.

tl;dr (2 suit ur instructions only)