Not looking forward to tomarrow.

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morning_after
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19 Feb 2008, 12:58 am

Does anyone think it's harder watching your family member's health deteriorate when you're AS?

Being AS for me makes me highly emotional.

Well, my father's health has deteriorated for some time now. He basically cannot take care of himself.

I think he might have AS, too, which may contribute to it.

Anyhow, his doctor was supposed to talk to him about some test results that he had. During that time, he was supposed to inform him that his license got suspended. Basically, I think his blood sugar makes him drowsy, and he does fall asleep while driving.

Which has nearly gotten him into a couple of accidents.

Well, when I asked this evening if the doctor had talked to him, he started asking about what, then got mad at me when I wouldn't tell him and tried to just say that the doctor was going to talk to him. As a result, he was told about his license today.

First he took to denial, claiming that it couldn't happen, but he was pretty angry.

I had been considering finding another place to stay tomarrow. After this talk, I told my mom that I wasn't sure that I still wanted to do that.

At which she said that the doctor was also going to talk to him about the test results. Apparently, his recent health problems are thought to be caused by his kidneys.

I already found a hotel for tomarrow night. I think that being here would be very difficult tomarrow night, and, while I don't want to go into why, I think also that my presence at the house would only make things worse.

But that's something that's made me sad off and on all week.

I was wondering, do you think this is harder for an AS than an NT? Part of me already wants to cry, knowing that he isn't exactly going to be happy loosing his ability to drive. It's the most recent thing in a long list of things that have wound up making him unable to function, or live and enjoy life. He basically keeps loosing more and more of his mobility all the time.



zee
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19 Feb 2008, 4:20 am

I think it`s very difficult for both AS and NT. I wouldn`t worry about your presence making things ``more difficult``; you have as much right to be there as anyone else. You were just doing what is best for him. I think it`s important to put some personal issues aside and focus on creating a supportive environment for the person in the centre of it. You sound like a person who is sensitive to others needs, so I wouldn`t spend a lot of time worrying about what the others think. What I mean is, removing yourself physically from the house won`t remove you from the issue. If you need time alone for yourself, then that`s different, but you can`t avoid what`s going on.

Be true to yourself, and to your Dad. I hope things get better for you.



morning_after
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19 Feb 2008, 11:55 am

zee wrote:
I think it`s very difficult for both AS and NT. I wouldn`t worry about your presence making things ``more difficult``; you have as much right to be there as anyone else. You were just doing what is best for him. I think it`s important to put some personal issues aside and focus on creating a supportive environment for the person in the centre of it. You sound like a person who is sensitive to others needs, so I wouldn`t spend a lot of time worrying about what the others think. What I mean is, removing yourself physically from the house won`t remove you from the issue. If you need time alone for yourself, then that`s different, but you can`t avoid what`s going on.

Be true to yourself, and to your Dad. I hope things get better for you.


Thank you.