The urge to be a b***h... but wanting so badly for someone t

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o be nice to me right now.


Why do I feel so terrible I have to act like a b***h, talk like s**t, act like s**t, hate this and that, complain about this and that, and not see the good in anything anymore and be so angry all the time? Why do I jsut want to say "f**k you" to anyone who says I should restrain myself, or control myself, or moderate or mediate or censor myself, or shut myself up or any of that? Because I hate behaviorists (and I hate them with a passion, but hat goes in other threads like the restraints and aversives one). I feel like I really, really, want someone to care how I feel, not how I act, and just be totally patient with me, and just keep saying nice things and soothe and comfort and console me, without caring how bitchy and horrible and sh***y I'm acting like. But there's no one in this world that's that patient. I need some really special person who's very rare, I suppose. I'm too far gone for most people to handle and I'll have to stew in my own juice until then, and by then I might be too far gone for ANYONE in the world to be able to help or console or make me feel better.

Why you feel like this I can't tell you, but I can say that it is okay to feel like that. You may think that I am "just being nice" to you, because that is what you asked for, but I don't do that, EVER! I tell people what I think of them, people may not always like what I say, but they can alwys trust it. I HATE moderating, controling or cencoring myself with a passion, and indeed I don't think there is anyone who doesn't. And yet everyone knows that we have to do it. I know it when I stop myself from litteraly beating some sense into the thick heads of bullies. And you knew it when you made this post. You don't like what you feel yourself turning into, and so you ask for help, that is displaying both courage and good sense, and is much to be admired. You want someone to be there for you, we all do, but before you know the source of your problem, and are taking measures to better yourself, you are likely to scare anyone who might care for you away. Analyse your problem, find the source, and fight it!

Hope you will feel better soon Ana, and if you need to say f**k you to me, then feel free to do so.

I know
because you told me;
meds:shitalopram


and because your pasionate

and young
which means inexperienced with dealing with emotions

like passion

also, give a lot of thought about
withdrawal symptoms

Heyy I got an idea, talk to your bf about it
Personally.. If Im always in the company of friends then that for me is enough to make me feel better about sh***y things.. But so far I havent witnessed anyone telling you how to act or anything.. In any case, still, I think that if you just let it all out in front of him and explain everything, Im sure he will understand. Just tell him how you feel.

Well, I'm not going to tell you to restrain yourself 'cos I know what I'd get told to do.

Sometimes you have to let it out.

Best if you can let it out on people you didn't like much anyway - or on best friends who know you better - or on boyfriends who think you're cute when you're angry.

Everybody needs to vent once in a while, nothing wrong with that. Controlling emotions is something that only comes with time, tide & necessity.

Because you're a mix of sweet and angry, like a glazed doughnut with teeth (yum...rawr).

I'm with Rainstorm5: in time, you'll learn to pick your battles and spend your energy on the ones you can win. And a lot of what seems to be a big deal now will diminish as you see more action/result combos. Meanwhile, enjoy your energy.

OK!


you are as lovely as the spark when iron strikes flint
you are the part of the theory of everything that will never be understood
you are the number of angels that dance on the head of a pin
you are where the word Ana ends and where wonder begins

ok i better stop before your boy-friend start hiring ninjas



Ana's boyfriend has an enormous cock
and has won many awards for his large rooster !

Aw, thanks. I'm glad you guys are being nice and not just telling ME to go f**k myself or that too bad, I'd have to restrain myself. I feel like there jsut isn't enough outlets for me, that I have too much inside that I need to get out and there is too much need for restraint in this world and it was killing me but now I feel better.

I feel the same way. No matter how much I try to get rid of my dark emotions, they stick to me like peanut butter. I sometimes just wish I could scream until my throat turned into ash from the burning sensation.
How could you f**k yourself anyways? I don't think that's possible...