So lonely and depressed...

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ebec11
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21 Feb 2008, 10:27 pm

I feel so lonely and I feel like nobody cares. I was very close to chopping my right arm off with the paper cutter in the art room (which didn't have any supervision at the time because it was lunch) just so I could get some attention that was geniune :(
I feel so horrible.
I had an anxiety attack this afternoon and I got really dizzy and had to go home early. I've been depressed since.
I'm a horrible human being, and I'm worthless. I'm this ugly b**** that should be slaughtered into a million pieces.
Anybody relate?



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21 Feb 2008, 10:28 pm

I've been kinda anxious for the same reasons.


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ebec11
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21 Feb 2008, 10:29 pm

For being lonely and being depressed? Your message is unclear.



Tim_Tex
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21 Feb 2008, 10:41 pm

ebec11 wrote:
For being lonely and being depressed? Your message is unclear.


For that reason.


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ebec11
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21 Feb 2008, 10:45 pm

Let's be miserable together. That is if I'm still alive...



Bluesummers
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21 Feb 2008, 10:47 pm

I've been so depressed lately, which has led me to worry. My heart has been doing that anxiety/frightened thing it does when it beats super fast and feels like it's gonna explode...for almost a week now :cry:


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Last edited by Bluesummers on 21 Feb 2008, 11:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ebec11
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21 Feb 2008, 10:57 pm

Bluesummers wrote:
I've been so depressed lately, which has led me to worry. My heart has been doing that anxiety/frightened thing it does when it beats super fast and feels like it's gonne explode...for almost a week now :cry:

I usually get headaches, stomachaches, dizzyness, my body shakes, and sometimes my heart goes super fast. Do you have any other symptoms?



Bluesummers
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21 Feb 2008, 11:01 pm

ebec11 wrote:
Bluesummers wrote:
I've been so depressed lately, which has led me to worry. My heart has been doing that anxiety/frightened thing it does when it beats super fast and feels like it's gonne explode...for almost a week now :cry:

I usually get headaches, stomachaches, dizzyness, my body shakes, and sometimes my heart goes super fast. Do you have any other symptoms?


Everything but headaches. And as for dizzyness, it's more like getting nauseous when I start walking. I hate when going out in public, and being unable to control myself from shaking, it's so embarassing :(

But the heart thing worries me the most. Sometimes I wonder if I might die, and then I worry more...gah.

Edit: Also, while I usually don't remember my dreams, they come to haunt me...I'll live in them, thinking it's real. And then my subconscious proceeds to completely EFF with my mind.


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ebec11
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21 Feb 2008, 11:10 pm

Bluesummers wrote:
ebec11 wrote:
Bluesummers wrote:
I've been so depressed lately, which has led me to worry. My heart has been doing that anxiety/frightened thing it does when it beats super fast and feels like it's gonne explode...for almost a week now :cry:

I usually get headaches, stomachaches, dizzyness, my body shakes, and sometimes my heart goes super fast. Do you have any other symptoms?


Everything but headaches. And as for dizzyness, it's more like getting nauseous when I start walking. I hate when going out in public, and being unable to control myself from shaking, it's so embarassing :(

But the heart thing worries me the most. Sometimes I wonder if I might die, and then I worry more...gah.

Edit: Also, while I usually don't remember my dreams, they come to haunt me...I'll live in them, thinking it's real. And then my subconscious proceeds to completely EFF with my mind.
Sounds like Panic Disorder...you fear of dying...



ebec11
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21 Feb 2008, 11:11 pm

I'm also extremely obsessive and am thinking about miserable things like College, death, etc ALL THE TIME



Bluesummers
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21 Feb 2008, 11:14 pm

Not quite sure it's a fear of dying...as I've tried to take my life many times, and don't really deem it valuable. It's more a fear of letting down the ones who depend upon me. So much pressure :cry:


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ebec11
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21 Feb 2008, 11:37 pm

Bluesummers wrote:
Not quite sure it's a fear of dying...as I've tried to take my life many times, and don't really deem it valuable. It's more a fear of letting down the ones who depend upon me. So much pressure :cry:
What ways did you try to kill yourself? I might try, so I just need some advice.



Bluesummers
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21 Feb 2008, 11:40 pm

ebec11 wrote:
What ways did you try to kill yourself? I might try, so I just need some advice.


I've studied and tried a lot of them. And gah, I can't give such advice. :cry:


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ebec11
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21 Feb 2008, 11:56 pm

Bluesummers wrote:
ebec11 wrote:
What ways did you try to kill yourself? I might try, so I just need some advice.


I've studied and tried a lot of them. And gah, I can't give such advice. :cry:
Why not? I might as well die a pain free way...



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21 Feb 2008, 11:58 pm

ebec11 wrote:
Why not? I might as well die a pain free way...


No such thing. Even if you don't feel physical pain, the emotional regrets will tear you apart. It's not a good feeling, trust me.


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22 Feb 2008, 2:56 am

Bluesummers wrote:
Not quite sure it's a fear of dying...as I've tried to take my life many times, and don't really deem it valuable. It's more a fear of letting down the ones who depend upon me. So much pressure :cry:


I feel exactly the same way :(, minus the trying to kill myself part. I feel like that would be the ultimate in letting people down.