Alternative's First Suicide Attempt

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Alternative
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19 Feb 2008, 6:56 am

No, don’t be mislead by the title, it’s already been done. :(

For those of you who care, I’m just letting you know, why I haven’t been here for a while.

Depression has got to me and on Saturday night I attempted to kill myself through an overdose of Prozac of about 4 tablets, which I later discovered while being taken to A&E, is not enough to be classed as a toxin overdose. I normally take 1 20mg a day, but I tried to overdose with 4x20mg = 80mg.

All that it made me did was completely f**k up my blood pressure levels, and make me incredibly drowsy and tired.

Full of regret after the overdose, I slowly told the family especially my mum who was incredibly stumped by this obvious cry for help.

I think as I look back it, it was a cry for help, because the CFCS people had done SFA and thought I was doing well, when they were being mislead as my mum is doing all the work for me to make me do well.

After 2 nights of good rest, I have had, and a talk with the CFCS people, my mum and me are slowly going to get the external support we need, and hopefully change my medication to a much better, brighter anti-depressant.

The other days I haven’t posted on here, is because I’ve been too lazy or too deep in drowning in my sorrows.

I didn’t see any kind of epiphany of this suicide attempt, and am in limbo with what I had done. I.E. half of me regrets the suicide attempt and the other half of me doesn’t.

Just letting you know, that's all. ;)



Tequila
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19 Feb 2008, 7:43 am

Perhaps not the most efficient method of trying to commit suicide I've ever heard of. You'll probably just feel very poorly for a while.

Don't do anything stupid. Take care of yourself, you hear? :)



samtoo
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19 Feb 2008, 8:47 am

Hey man if ever you need to vent, I'll be willing to offer a helping hand, if this is of any help. :)


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19 Feb 2008, 10:35 am

Oh dear...now thats no good :(
I hope that you get your medication sorted out and get on something that works for you. There are other ways to achieve happiness OTHER than meds, you know. Exersize increases seretonin levels, so maybe get outside and go for a walk to a place that you enjoy.

In any case, just PLEASE don't try and kill yourself again. Life is too important.


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SilverProteus
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19 Feb 2008, 11:20 am

:(

I hope you find a better anti-depressant so you don't attempt suicide again.


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19 Feb 2008, 1:07 pm

Alternative,
do have a CPN [community psychiatric nurse] ? if not,is worth getting one.


Am agree with Tequila,having done it as well as a teenager [a few trays of co codamol-white round ones] the worst noticeable affect they did was send am to sleep and then fall all over the place projectile vomiting after,no idea what it did to liver.


At least they are doing something about it now,but it would be good to work out some distractions,maybe get an exercise bike or rowing machine,are great for releasing the 'good' chemicals.


It is good they haven't sectioned for this attempt,that could have made things worse.
If are getting to that stage of suicidal thinking again,come on WP and write it out-getting it out of head can help-or get family to contact local MH crisis team [sister had them out a lot for her ex housemate who had unstable BP,suicide attempts and cuts a lot].


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Graelwyn
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19 Feb 2008, 3:45 pm

Can't overdose on prozac, amazed just 4 tablets had that effect.
I'd class this as a cry for help as in the end, most pills don't bring about death, not anti depressants anyway.
You usually just end up puking or feeling so ill you tell someone heh.



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19 Feb 2008, 6:55 pm

I tried to overdose on Advil when I was 15. I was rejected heavily by a girl, my parents where angry at me, my grades where horrible, and I had no friends. I took 40 pills (not a miscount). Of course, it is much deeper than that, but it's not something I particularly like to delve into.

Amazingly, it turned out that the brand that I took had hardly any effect on you, and you literately had to take shovel fulls to overdose. I was vomiting for a night, but other than that, I was fine. Needless to say, some major changes took place in my life after that, and overall it's been a lot better. I hope you find the same path I took, and if you need any guidance or help, I'll try to check back up and give you some advice. Don't hesitate to ask. :)



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19 Feb 2008, 6:59 pm

Only 4? You can really alter things with only 4?

I'm not trying to egg anything on, here. It's valuable information to me if I ever feel like attempting.


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20 Feb 2008, 12:58 am

The quantity, in this case, is irrelevant, but the intent. Alternative, feel better soon! Please don't try that again......I guess that goes without saying, but just don't! We do care about you. I think other's had some good ideas - divert your interets, excerise (releases endorphins, etc). But I think, especially, if you feel the urge strongly, tell someone. I've done what you have, on a worse scale, so I do know. I hate that feeling too. Sigh. I posted this site before, but bookmark it, just in case. Good luck.




http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/index.html


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20 Feb 2008, 2:22 am

My most life-threatening overdose was of 32 500mg Paracetamol tablets. Don't ever overdose on Paracetamol - I spent the next 8 hours vomiting copiously all over my house, and if I had gotten to the hospital any later I could have suffered permanent kidney damage. And it is only after such an experience that you realise just how vile Paracetamol tastes.

All in all, I've taken at least five overdoses; Nytol, Risperidone and Vallium, Aspirin and herbal Nytol, as well as the aforementioned Paracetamol. Nytol made me hyperactive, the Vallium made me sleepy and peaceful, Aspirin made my ears ring and the herbal Nytol made me sleep for 20 hours.

Risperidone has an interesting effect when taken in overdose; it causes one's eyes to roll upwards, and the head to tilt back, so that you end up walking around looking perpetually upwards; but it isn't life-threatening. Just very annoying.



Graelwyn
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20 Feb 2008, 5:35 pm

Done the paracetamol too, first time was when I was 14. Lost count of the number of times, most I took was 50.
It is a very slow, painful death apparently if you don't get help within around 8 hours.



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20 Feb 2008, 7:04 pm

Please choose life topic

I will tell you something very personal..I came home from work early in April 2005 and found my son strangling in his first suicide attempt. It was horrifying and what if I had not come home early? The hospital treated my son like garbage and the impression I got was that my son would not have attempted had I not been a high strung :huh: mother. That hospital was not supportive and was actually angry with my son and told him how selfish he was to try to end his own life. I will never take him there again. I got him therapy with people who saw his act as a cry for help and something tragic. I had a meltdown with the administration of that "hospital".

I watch my son diligently now. He can come to me anytime.

by the way, my son is NT, but has adolescent depression, and sometimes anger issues, :wall: but he is improving. :)


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20 Feb 2008, 11:37 pm

Hope you feel better soon Alternative. :(


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20 Feb 2008, 11:50 pm

I'm glad you felt that you could tell us this. I hope it will not happen again though, and that you will grow happier.


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21 Feb 2008, 2:08 am

One of the first things I did when I got this computer in the summer was google "how to kill yourself" out of curiosity. Sure enough I found out all I needed to know.

Basically you need a shotgun and thats that.

I'm worried that after all these shootings i wont be able to get one if I "need" one.

Of course I've never made an attempt and only this past year was absolutely at the bottom. But if I feel the need to go I want the option.

People have commited suicide for hundreds of years I just do'nt understand why everybody these days has to bring a whole crowd with them.