I'm losing my mind

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I love having free time - it's the only time when I really get to enjoy myself and not be pressured by society. However, this can interfere with homework, and in the past few weeks, I've forgotten a few assignments - mostly in algebra (I'm trying to compensate for my history class, the teacher of which is not as forgiving). This procrastination has been causing me even more stress around school time - there was a day when I cried in school for hours.

Now I'm having trouble with the simple things. I get ready in the morning about an hour ahead of schedule and then pack up at the last minute to reach the bus. For a long time, this worked, which was good, because my brother misses his bus every day. The past two days, however, I've missed the bus, and that has really stressed me out, because now my parents have to give my brother and me a ride to school.

Meanwhile the pressure and anxiety is building up inside me and eventually it blows up, and I'll start yelling, crying, and/or breaking things. For instance this morning, I was running behind for the bus when I realized I needed my flash drive and some pencils. I angrily tore up my room for the flash drive and spilled out a jar full of pencils (to find the right ones), and when I was out the door again I saw my bus leaving the street corner in the distance. At that point I flipped, throwing my key chains at the door, falling on the ground and yelling. After flipping out at my family I holed up in my room and cried until my father warmed up the car.

Around these times I'm painfully aware of all my flaws, such as my inability to approach people, and I feel really helpless because I know it's my fault that I'm falling behind, but I can't change my personality.

I don't have that I'm comfortable talking to (there's one friend of mine who says I can tell him anything, but I'm too embarrassed). I got an appointment with a therapist, but that won't be for a few weeks.

Anyways that's my story. Hope you enjoyed it.

Is life always this hard on you?

that stress sure sucks, i hope u get the help u need.

That sounds like me, I have difficulty getting organised too and often when I leave there may be something I forget and I am so stressed...

im still trying to think about what to do about this.

I hope things improve with you soon!

Well the simple solution to getting stuff ready to go, is to do it beforehand . Night before, have everything in one spot. Not that I'm any better about throwing things together at the last second too...

Your not losing your mind. It seems like you just need a break from everything.

I think that you should organise your things for school the night before, that way you have time to get ready in the morning and don't miss the bus. Put your pens and pencils in your bag the night before.
Your friend has given you an offer to speak to him about things...maybe you should. I know that it can be embarrassing, but once you've told him you will probably feel a lot of relief.

Good Luck with your therapist appointment and I hope that everything starts to go better for you.

I actually did end up talking to my friend...some issues he related to, others he was as clueless as I.

I do generally have my pencils either packed or on my desk before school, but I want to have seen them in my hand. Otherwise, my supplies are generally in the same places.

I've felt overwhelmed lately. Last year I was fine - my spirits weren't affected by "C" grades, and I didn't have any truly stressful days until the end of the year. I've been in a pretty messed-up state since second quarter this year.

Very good!

I'm glad you feel better!

That's just when all the stress started settling in.

Could you leave some equipment in school in a locker?.
Other than that i would say keep a book with everything written down.

f**k obligations and f**k all those people who think you need to fulfill them. Don't let them destroy you.