Whats the point.

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I recently lost yet another job (the one that was supposed to be an ideal job for an aspie into gems). My partner has been sick for over a year, none of the doctors know what is wrong, and most of them dont seem to give a rats ass.
And now to top all that off, I have just figured out that the one thing I enjoy and look forward to is not my thing after all.
After having spend many hundreds of $ setting up a workshop, getting the basic equipment required for silver jewellery making, lots of expensive books and nights being eaten alive by mosquitoes. Nothing I do works. I have read every book I could find, I have asked every jeweller and professional I could find, I have followed every piece of advice I could get. yet still nothing works.
People say I should take a class and try to tell me all about the classes they host or attend. Yeah, they are not the ones who have to pay for, find time for, or find public transport to these miracle classes.
So now I sit here in a state of severe distress, contemplating selling all my equipment, and wondering what the point of everything is.
I have no chance of being happy in my career (I dont have a career or even a job), I do not have a home or car to work towards, my interests and skills are totally irrelevant to everyone but me. I am contributing nothing towards society, and society has absolutely no concern about my welfare or existence.

COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE POINT OF MY BEING HERE IS ?! !! !! !!?! !! !! !!?! !! !! !! !?! !! !! !?! !! !!

And please dont give me some BS about how I am here for those who care about me. I can count on one hand the number of people who even know me at all.

Don't give up!! !!
Maybe you just need to take a break from jewellery making?

we come into this world and are expected to find something in it that allows us to cling to it and push ourselves to do whatever.

somepeople really feel that they want things

others are just really good at fooling themselves

and then there are some that it just doesnt work for.


is there anything that you feel could make your life worth living? something unrealistic even?

if a person that became an aeroplane pilot feels that thats the only thing that he could see himself doing in life he is lucky that 1) aeroplanes exist and 2) he didnt have too much trouble getting there. by too much i mean to the point that it wouldnt be possible.

many of us just dont have that opportunity

i dont actually have a solution. im kindof in the same place.

its kindof easy for people that feel that they want to define themselves with a profession since its one big thing that surviving in this world demands.

theres plenty other places for a person's wants to exist though that possibly having a profession at all might get in the way of. but that wouldnt be realistic to want something like that bc it would stop a person from being capable of surviving.

i dont think that there is enough role diversity in this society to allow everyone to find a place.

The point is...to stab yourself with it.

Or, to live and procreate; other than that, there's not much of a point.

Or, the point is whatever you wish to make it.

Or, there's no point, even the one you make.

Or, the point doesn't exist at all and you're really dead, or dreaming this.

I think that's all philosophical trains of thought concerning such, or maybe not.

Just FYI and all, I'm a fan of #1 and 4.

what are you trying to do with gems that isn't working? make jewelery? make stones for jewelery on the wholesale market?

Well, you are here, so you might as well explore existence while you have the opportunity.

hey buddy complex! i think you're cool, but depending on how existance appears to a person this could be rough and no fun at all.

this is a great positive angle, but it doesnt stand alone.

a person would definatly want to explore a positive existance.

without an idea of nice things to explore, exploring existance just because a person has the opportunity to could be comparable to exploring a pile of dung just bc some animal left it in the front yard.

im sure theres lots that i could learn from dung, but im not so sure it will leave me feeling blessed in the end