I recently lost yet another job (the one that was supposed to be an ideal job for an aspie into gems). My partner has been sick for over a year, none of the doctors know what is wrong, and most of them dont seem to give a rats ass.
And now to top all that off, I have just figured out that the one thing I enjoy and look forward to is not my thing after all.
After having spend many hundreds of $ setting up a workshop, getting the basic equipment required for silver jewellery making, lots of expensive books and nights being eaten alive by mosquitoes. Nothing I do works. I have read every book I could find, I have asked every jeweller and professional I could find, I have followed every piece of advice I could get. yet still nothing works.
People say I should take a class and try to tell me all about the classes they host or attend. Yeah, they are not the ones who have to pay for, find time for, or find public transport to these miracle classes.
So now I sit here in a state of severe distress, contemplating selling all my equipment, and wondering what the point of everything is.
I have no chance of being happy in my career (I dont have a career or even a job), I do not have a home or car to work towards, my interests and skills are totally irrelevant to everyone but me. I am contributing nothing towards society, and society has absolutely no concern about my welfare or existence.
COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE POINT OF MY BEING HERE IS ?! !! !! !!?! !! !! !!?! !! !! !! !?! !! !! !?! !! !!
And please dont give me some BS about how I am here for those who care about me. I can count on one hand the number of people who even know me at all.
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Recollect me darling, raise me to your lips
two undernourished egos, four rotating hips.
Hold on to me tightly I'm a sliding scale
cant endure then you can't inhale