How does one sound nice/diplomatic while talking about probl

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ems that bother them?

It's called supporting each other. I talk about my problems while supporting other folks and giving them possible advice.

I think you are asking how to discuss problematic situations and traits without being negative?

Here is what I was told. Dont say "I cant handle loud noises" (for example). Instead say "I do best when there are no loud noises"

See how you turn it inside out?

I hope thats what you are asking. I hope that helps.

But that seems to trivialize it, like you can handle loud noises, when maybe you can't.

I know. I dont like it either.

But I was informed by a career specialist that You'll get a better response that way. Thats where the NT "read between the lines" comes in. They WILL get the point. Its annoying that they have to have things said sideways in order to deal with it constructively.

What the specialist said to me is that when you present it in such a light, people will hear it as an opportunity to help you, rather than you being negative. It seemingly allows them a course of action rather than a wall they must break down. Sometimes it takes repeated applications for it to sink in though. But its still better than telling them, "I cant...".

So instead of them thinking "She freaks out whenever everyone is having fun at work", they are more likely to think "we'll get better productivity out of her if she works away from the chattery people. You can see the former leads to a healthy dislike of an aspie, while the latter makes them admire your strength: "shes so stoic, working over there, all by her self, all day!"

By the way what she actually told me to say was "I do best when handling one thing at a time". I'm easily distracted and disrupted.

Aren't NTs the most weird and interesting critters?

Actually, that does sound good.

Wow. That makes a whole lot of sense. I'm glad this was brought up, that approach had not occurred to me before, either.

I know. I'm not inclined to verbalise it that way. I just spit it out direct. But Practice is helping.

I used to not verbalize sometimes for fear of sounding undiplomatic and I didn't want to offend anyone. That was a disaster.