Stop the world I want off!

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I am so totally not in a good place right now!
This morning was a total write off!
Wasted almost an hour waiting for the precious (sarcastic)number 4 bus after a medical trip.
Damien had to go to the doctor this morning, that's fine. He has viral infection and now requires an inhaler for his coughing I feel so damn guilty because I smoke. Only ever outside but not the point.
Doctor ordered urgent blood test and the only Lab open was in town. My Dad had to be somewhere else (I don't drive) so Damien was very excited about going on a bus after blood test. We had to walk up and down the terminus countless times looking for his Number 4 bus (one we needed to get home). A bus driver even said to wait down the bottom, I just smiled and told him that my son was autistic and LOVES the buses.

He talked buses for the whole time we waited, 50 minutes of bus talk I fully accept and can tolerate a bit of bus talk but 50 minutes, give me a break
He kept saying the the driver on the number 2 bus was going to turn his bus name to our area and I kept trying to tell him No it was the number 2 bus, it is the number 2 bus the whole day. Nup he refused to belive me.
When we eventually got on that Number 4 bus I wanted to cry. He was silent the whole way home. We had gotten his favourite bus, a big one with 2 doors.

I try so hard not to let Damien see how it affects me but it is so hard. I won't tell him to shut up or stop it, that isn't fair.
Thanks for letting me have my sooky la la, grizzle, vent

I can understand how frustrating this can get. But you're doing a very great job with your son, I wish my mum would be as tolerant as you are. If I fell silent, she'd go, 'ARE YOU DEAF?!?', and when I feel really upset about school she'd go like,'What do you want me to say? I can't help you anyway.' Well she's not mean all the time, but sometimes, just sometimes, she makes me very, very sad.

I hope things improve with you soon!

when i was a little boy, i had to deal with listening to my parents talking for years.

My father never went on and on to me. My mother did about her interests like Victorian England, how beautiful the sky was that day, all the things she had to do that day, options for school for me (which just overwhelmed and depressed me a little because none of it impressed me), anything and everything that came to her mind. It often bored me or made me feel uncomfortable or embarrassed and wondering why I was hanging around someone like her, who was talking about stuff that didn't interest me and even embarrassed me, and she never stopped; nobody seemed as talkative in public as her. I tuned her out a lot, unless I was in the mood to talk or listen or what she was saying actually interested me. She seemed to talk more than everyone else.


I went on about my obsessions to her and my dad. My dad never made me stop. He told a few jokes about how I never shut up about it or mentioned it, but found it amusing. My mother, in addition to telling me to shut up about it, would tell me to broaden my horizons... and go on and on about that... tell me to look around me at what others were interested in... go on and on about that... that I'd be a boring person if I didn't get into other stuff like pop culture or intellectual stuff... went on about that... then went on about AS (she acted like I was definitely AS and that because of that I needed help or needed to work really hard to broaden my horizons or be normal and she was always like "I know it's hard but you have to do it and people with worse disabilities than you accomplish more difficult stuff" and all that. It was so embarrassing, it was way overkill, it was babbled BS, and I just wanted it to stop but telling her to stop would make her think I was listening to it in the first place! I broaden my horizons by expanding my obsessions; that's how I operate and I'm not going to change for anyone, and I hated and resented being called disabled because I had a difference in the way my brain worked, and I didn't want people to know I had this diagnosis, and I didn't like to talk about it because my mother made it seem like such a big thing all the time, and made it seem like it was her right to harass me about it because I had a diagnosis. She made it sound like I would miss out on so much in life if I didn't do things the typical way. She actually said that a few times.

It sounds like you are doing awesome with your son! My mother wasn't patient at all...always yelling... I think that's part of the reason my anxiety is so bad...I'm afraid of people yelling.