Stupid, stupid, STUPID brain

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There is a house down the road from me that is selling cheap furniture. Since I am planning on moving out of home in the near-ish future, cheap furniture is a very good thing.

This house, for many years, has had a large, vicious dog living in it. A few months ago, the owners of the dog moved out, and the dog is no longer there. However, even after all that time, my brain hasn't realised. It is still registering it as "house with large scary dog, stay away."

It should have been so simple just to go and knock on the door and say "I am interested in buying some of your furniture". I had the words all lined up properly to say. But my idiot of a brain wouldn't let me step past the gate.

It does this all the time: it takes so long to adjust itself to any changes. I'll be doing something, and I'll know that the way I'm doing it isn't quite working, I'll know how to do it a better way, but I'll keep doing it the same way. Even if I try to force myself into doing things differently, it doesn't work.

My mother has offered to come down with me later. I am pathetic, what sort of a 24-year-old needs their mother with them to walk through a gate that they know is safe to walk through?

Thanks.
It's not so much the fear that is frustrating me as knowing that it's safe and still not being able to approach the house.

I suck.

No, you don't suck. You beat yourself up to a point that makes me seem well adjusted. You apparently have enough musical talent to be professional. Many on this site can't hold down a job. Look at your good points when you feel like s**t. Work on your shortcomings when you feel better.

Maybe you have PTSD from that scary dog.
Sorry I couldn't help it.

It might be your nerves and maybe some stressors. Like everyone's posted, I think you're being too hard on yourself. I have had the same problem at my job. I know that the less nervous, the less forgetful I am.

I beat myself up because of frustration at the unevenness of my abilities.

I was this close (imagine me holding my fingers a couple of millimeters apart) to having a meltdown when I wrote the original post; and that is true of most of my "I am stupid" rants; in the moment I am being that hard on myself but in life in general I am not quite that hard on myself.

We all have our good days and our bad days.
Just try to have more good than bad.

I think the real question regarding the furniture is if you'd still want it knowing that a dog may have used it. If that would bother you, don't worry about going to that house at all. Just know that there will be other opportunities for you to get the furniture that you'll want/need.

Thank you everyone.

MissConstrue: No, I don't have PTSD, the dog never touched me.

Smelena: It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only adult in the world who sometimes needs their mother.


BeautyWithin: I have a dog who uses my furniture all the time; I'm ok with dogs.


I did go. I have acquired for myself a leather swivel chair (which I don't really need, but it spins so I'll use "it's therapy" as an excuse ), a couch (which has a rip in the covering but apart from that is fine, and I can always get it reupholstered), 2 display cabinets and a cupboard/set of drawers, for a total of $75.

With the furniture that I already have, I'm ok for furniture when I move out. Now I need bedding, towels etc, baking stuff (trays, mixing bowls), cutlery and a washing machine.

We all do what we can do, no more or less. You were able to go given the right circumstances [for you], and isn't that all we can ask from ourselves?

Some need no one, some can't step over that crack no matter who is with them, some need a single person, and every other iteration is possible. The one who cannot do it at all is no more pathetic than the one who can do it with ease; the two don't go together, one will never feel what the other feels, and subsequently know why the other can or can't do something for they haven't walked through one's shoes.

Daniel: That makes sense. Thank you.

Rachel, I hope things improve with you soon!

Good job on getting such a good deal!

i often beat myself up whenever a social interaction has gone awry. like simple conversation with a clerk etc...i feel so small and stupid all the time. i wish i could be charming and engaging instead of being boring coz everytime i see their boredom and it hurts.

You are welcome, Rachel!