Too many days

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I simply seem to not know how to deal with them anymore. Whenever I look to the future to all the things I'll have to deal with, I look back on what I have. Any desire to live, to make things better, even to be happy...just fade away when I do.

I'm so lost. The problems have become insurmountable, I'm suffocating in them. I can't solve them, even one at a time, I just don't have that resolve anymore. I can't even do the laundry without thinking of how my life is falling away from me, I'm trapped.

I try to put on my best face, to do things that would make me happy; hell I've even gotten laid in the past week. I felt absolutely nothing, nothing at all. That fact sickens me, it set me far behind, it's like the only thing I can feel anymore is the stress from my problems.

I'm sick of hiding from them, sick of blocking them out completely, sick of not remembering anything because I'm suppressing so much...It's hard for me to even remember what day of the week it is, and sometimes I don't even know what month it is. I just don't care, I can't or I'll be overcome...

I want something, and it's in the way. I'm fixated on it, and I don't even know what it is, but that feeling is the only thing I can ever consistently remember. I can't move forward until I've solved it, but it's an enigma. I need to know what it is. Maybe it's just an excuse.

An excuse to wither away like I am, maybe death is that unknown desire, maybe that feeling is derived from my inability to deal with the problems in my life. Haha, but if any of that is true...what can I do? How am I supposed to fight against my broken soul? Psychotherapy? Medicating myself to no end? Tree hugging?

What...what is the answer? I need one, I need a purpose, I need meaning. I can't move on, I'm stuck...and I really, really don't want to be here. Nary heaven nor hell, limbo. No feeling, I burn myself to feel pain, and I make self-destructive decisions to feel happiness. Nothing. Not a single emotion...

What have I lost? What should I do? How can it ever seem right again? Questions, I cannot answer...maybe someone else can, I'm too far gone.

oh no! i am tortured by text and all it stands for right now it's so clumsy and scary and violent and angry and just blocks in a puzzle that eat me up!! ! agggghhhh

I'm sorry, I can't quite seem to make sense of that. Is that an insult?

I can relate to what youve said and after years of thinking the same things I have come to no conclusion, found no justifiable answer and am really ----- (cant think of the word). Sorry I cant help but if you do ever find anything please tell me

I can relate as well. It's just a little wordy that's all.

I believe a simple statement cannot express what I think and feel. Too many angles, variables, and experiences to take into account. Besides, it's not THAT long...trust me, I've posted longer

Your thoughts remind me of my own. I've been feeling like I can't go on and anymore and I can't tell anyone. It's too shameful. I understand the complexity of the problem...or so it seems. Sometimes the problem unravels only to form a new one. I would offer "best wishes" but that means little to nothing over the internet...I can only lament the fact that we can't all talk to each other in person and hug. Forgive me, I'm drunk and I feel that way when I've been drinking. It would be nice if we could all just talk and throw away all the constant fears and worries.

I looked for a youtube video of the song I'm listening to right now, but couldn't find one to show you. It's called "Don't Be Afraid" by Angels and Agony. Good song, look it up you may like it.

I try not to worry about the future. The only thing is, I caint control it, and with AS I already feel so out of control in my own life. I guess I just take it one day at a time. I really hope though that at some point in the future I won't get ignorant as*holes telling me, "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" My dad used to do that, made it worse.

I just lost my job, so I know how you feel. Lost, alone, noone there to help you out cause noone can understand what you are dealing with. We may all be aspies, but even then I feel alone because noones version of aspergers is like mine. You just have to take it one day at a time. You don't have this infinite number of days in front of you, just tommrorow. And tommrorow you only have tommrorow ahead.

*net!hug*

many people will read this and find that they can relate to it. one reason for this is that it is extrmely vague. for the topic, it is short and undetailed so its easy to take the words and apply them to people that are in a different place and have different feelings. so a person can relate to what is said even if not so much to the person that is saying it.

Bluesummers, remember that you don't have to do anything. And that maybe you need all of this, not just one of these things: to tell people everything that ever went wrong in your life or in your head, to have friends talking to you about it and empathizing with you and only you, putting you before anyone you might have wronged if that ever happened and your wellbeing before their morals, perhaps you need some antidepressants too. And a nice, happy, fun life. Which you can get with us, and/or with people in real life.