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Just when I thought my life was at its lowest, it just keeps spiraling downward. Life in college still sucks more than ever. I still have no friends and poeple treat me like crap and reject me. And its not like Im not trying. I spend all of my eergy trying to be nice and caring to other, respect and care about them and what they have to say, and give them the time of day. I try to be as selfless as possible, but everyone becomes more selfish and beats me down. On top of this I am on the border line of failing out of college, and if I do, I have no where to go, and no direction.

For spring break i get a week off so I went home to my family only to spend the typical day living in my house where my parents fight. Only this time it was worse, it looks like they are going to separate or divorce. My mom is psychotic(literally she is not mentally stable) and thinks that everyone is out to get her, and as a result is hostile and mean to everyone in the house.

So i figured I would hang out with my best friends from highschool. I made plans with one and then the day we were suppost to hang out, she sent me a message that she was sick so we couldn't. Then later that day I found that she was hanging out with other people. And then when I was hanging out with my best friends from highschool, they ignore me when I say anything and treat me like crap and tell me to shut up.

I feel like I have nothing left. I feel .... like crap. I feel like my soul is dead.

Thanks for just letting me rant.

I hope things improve for u soon

When you've got nothin'
You got nothin' left to lose

-Bob Dylan

________________________________________________


You need to find yourself a girl, Mate

-Jack Sparrow

To hell with them all, get your grades up.

All of your expressed traits show a lack of being selfish.

No one is looking out for you but you, and that is the way it will stay.

Make the grades, get the degree, the job, then refuse to speak to anyone, and they will love you for it.

You have nothing but you.

Highschool friends who do not go to college hate people who do. It is a normal seperation.

Freshman suck! You will meet a better class of people in your second year.

Just two years of college will put you in another world, go there.

You never had anything but self, use it!

Well that sounds like good avice from Inventor.

I would say also that interacting online often works out better.

I know a guy that had a 'preferred interest' who became an expert in that and just interacted online, eventually he built a forum and many people look up to him now. He still clearly has AS but the friendships and interests are centred around a hobby and since he is the expert, he is not pushed out.

Maybe you could find a niche like this? What do you think? It might take a while but you sound like you have nothing to lose at the moment.

You could also try Second Life and online role-playing games. Nobody is forcing you to interact with flesh-and-blood.

- D

One advice: don't!

Don't spend your energy being nice and caring
Don't try to be selfless
Don't try so hard on friendships that aren't there

Trust me that people will like you more if you are just yourself. All people? ofcourse not, but maybe some, and those are the good ones. If people are just selfless and nice to me I feel creeped out, not friendlier. I like people to like me, but for me and I only like them back if they are somewhat interesting.





[smartass]
I believe the quote by Dylan is:
'When you ain't got nothin'
you got nothin' to lose'
[/smartass]

Yes, this is excellent advice too.

The people that like you if you are really nice often like you at times when they are in need and then when they have finished using your niceness, they return to their friends, I have seen it happen and I have been taken in by that kind of thing too.

I am not saying they don't like you when they need a kind friend, but they keep you for when they need you rather than always include you, though sometimes it is because of our aspie traits they find embarrassing too, so its not too clear cut.

Some people need help to get non-depressed and really do need the love and support of friends and I think the best advice is, you can't do much for them until you've been sneaking crushed Celexa into their soup for a month or two.