She won't come to me!! !

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My friend has a lot of problems, and I want to help her, but she won't let me. I feel hurt, as I understand what she's going through (I have a lot of the same problems), and I let her in when I'm upset. Why won't she? Is she not a true friend?
I'm so upset with her!! !

Sometimes people don't want help. It doesn't mean she isn't your friend. You sound like a good friend to want to help, though.

I wouldn't take it as her not being a good friend...sometimes people just don't like to talk about things. Maybe try feeding her. I know that my friends usually talk more over chocolate cake or something. Something like, "You've seemed down recently, so I thought maybe you could use some chocolate."

It could be that she is ashamed to admit that she needs someone to help her. Try not to be so upset with her because she will eventually fall and you will need to be there to catch her and help her to her feet. She'll love you for it in afterward.

A lot of people have already said it, but it rings true - be there for her. One day she will need you, just be there for her any way you can now.

It can be hard to let people help you if your the type of person who has always done things by themselves and have not relied on others. This is especially true if you have had to keep your emotions contained to survive in the world or if exposing ones emotional soul had gone poorly in the past. I still have trouble asking for simple favours from friends.

I think that you can draw her closer to you, by cooking her a nice meal, or doing a bit of baking, for her to sample. You can also tell her, that it's okay for her to ask you, for help. You can also be supportive of her and try not to be to harsh. Harshness can riun a friendship, as I've experienced, both here and in High School.

I'm going to try. I'm just so worried, as she is a good person, and I don't want her to be so stressed out.

Good luck!

Yeah...that. I'm beyond lost in my life, and I was supposed to be the prodigal son. Even though I've watched both my parents die, I can't even open up to the only family I have left: My brothers.

I never even answer the phone anymore, the answering machine does all the talking. I'm such a wretch, I shouldn't be like this, I hate being like this. But I can't find any answers, so I put it on me and only me to resolve this s**t...

It may not be working so well at all, but I just can't stand having the ones I care about knowing this, even if they only want to help. They have other things to worry about, I shouldn't be one of them...I need to learn to stand on my own.

If that makes any sense. My Brother's have helped me more than I can express, but it only makes me feel more guilty at the fact that I'm such a failure.

You're not a failure! If both my parents died (if you count my stepfather, as my father deserves to die for all the horrible things he's done to me and my siblings), I would be a miserable wreck for YEARS. I wouldn't be talking to people, I would be by myself and shut down.

Thank you for the kind words, but that does nothing more than to reassure my failure. It shouldn't matter what cross I bear, I have people to look out for, and I'm failing them at every turn.

I need to be stronger, yet I'm dying more and more every day. I may find an excuse for others to dwell upon, but I see the truth...I'm not who I need to be. I don't even know who that is.

Suffering builds character. I don't like the character I've become.

I recently met someone that worked with me a short time like this. We share a lot of the same problems, and have both gone through a lot in our lives, yet she is unwilling to let me, (or anyone else for that matter) help her with things.

I would really like to help her, but it seems like I was always walking on eggshells around her. I would really like it if we could help each other out, and be there for each other, but it doesn't seem to be happening that way.

Some people just don't like talking about their problems. It doesn't mean that they don't like you or distrust you.

perhaps she's thinking her problems can't really be shared with anyone. she might want to talk about it, but maybe it's the wrong time to do it. just stay put

This is so totally me... I have always had to do things for myself, my parents did a crappy job of raising me, so everything I have I have earned. Also, baring my soul has always backfired. I find it very hard to open up to people and ask for help.