getting into a mental institution

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I got a jury duty notice. I have been freaking out a bit about it. I just know I can't do it and I have no good reason to be excused. I have no therapist to tell them that I'm crazy and may kill myself if they make me go through with it. Killing myself is the only solution that I can see right now. I just don't see things getting any better. I mean I held on for a long time. It's amazing I've made it to 20yrs old. I didn't see myself anywhere past high school. And well, yeah, here I am at 20 and life sucks even worse. I can't even do simple everyday things that people do so easily, like jury duty or going outside, without freaking out. I just want to be normal.

I've considered just making it look like I'm attempting to kill myself, that way maybe they'd lock me in a mental institution and hopefully that would be a good enough reason to be excused from jury duty. I'd also be getting the help I need so that'd be great. I feel like that's where I belong anyway.

Even if I do accidentally succeed at killing myself, it wouldn't be a bad thing...I actually really don't want to die but everything is just too much for me and I feel like I have to force myself to hide it. Like from my family. I could never admit to feeling "crazy" that would be crazy and I feel like I have to keep up this lie because I'm supposed to be a certain way and if I admit to this stuff then I'd be an even bigger embarrassment and dissappointment to the family. I have to tell them what they want to hear. My mom was ready to put me in a mental institution but I talked my way out of it. Why did I do that? That was my chance, but no, I knew she didn't really want to do that and just wanted me to tell her everything's fine.

Well anyway, I just needed to get that out. Thanks to anyone that actually read that. I feel a little calmer now.

Since last July I've seen about 10 people on WP asking how they could be excused from jury duty, so you definitely aren't alone. There are threads about it in General Autism Discussion too and I think Members Only. It really doesn't sound that bad tho, but if you really won't be able to do it go to a crisis center or a shrink or something and tell them how you feel. Do it now; the shrink can write a note later explaining why you couldn't go, that a medical emergency came up. My shrink would have, anyway.

DON'T! It would be a huge mistake! I can tell you have some reservations about it and that itself is enough to keep living. Whenever you feel like you're falling deeper and deeper into depression remind yourself that "you've once been happy and will be happy again". While it seems unlikely that it will ever end, you have to trust that it WILL end and you will be grateful for not doing anything rash. There is always a better way than that. Even if it takes you years to get over it, it will be worth it in the end if you continue to fight it and keep your hope for better days to come.

Trust me, I'm giving you the perspective of someone who has felt the same way and I feel much better now. I never thought I would, but I'm finally learning to enjoy life. You only get one chance at it and it's too short as it is, so make the best of it.

Don't give up and you will thank yourself for it later.

Do you have AS or some other form of autism? Cuz I have AS and I don't think I would be that freaked at jury duty. Then again, I don't know.
Anyhoo man I don't think you're crazy, cuz if you were, you wouldn't be saying you were crazy. However, I think you need help. Doesn't mean you're crazy, I've been to plenty of shrinks and I walk the light without fear of men in white coats.

It's jury duty. It's not that hard.

What is it about jury duty that is making you freak out?

Go to a doctor, explain that you have immense social phobia and anxiety. They will write you a note excusing you from duty. It is not meant to cause you grief. They will not impose hardship on you if you are not capable of it.

As for killing yourself. Once upon a time I felt that I was worthless and incapable of caring for myself. I felt that I should just give up and admit myself to a mental institution and throw away the keys. I felt that the alternative was death. There was no point. I couldn't manage anything. My life was a roller coaster of pain and more pain.

I'm 40 now. I have two kids and a partner who loves me beyond words. I own my own house and a dog and a cat (the dog is smaller than the cat). I no longer think about killing myself. I wonder who would have loved my partner, and how sad it would be that my kids would never have been born.

You are not hopeless. You are not worthless. Because I believe in you. I believe that at 20 you are a wealth of limitless possibilities. You need to see that in yourself. There is help to be had. Whether you find that help medically or otherwise...find it.

PM me if you need to.

Even when you report for jury duty, there is still a screening process to go through...and they will immediately disqualify you at
that time.

Oh, by the way, if you are a fulltime student...that is an automatic exemption. Your college or university simply has to submit a
form verifying that you are a fulltime student. That's how I got out of it.

Just a friendly reminder that a hospital stay runs around $800 per day, just for the room. Extra treatment, like medication, meals, and therapy sessions can run your stay into the thousands. Your minimum stay would be 2 days, I'm guessing, just to make sure you are stable for -- do I get this right? For wanting to kill yourself over jury duty?

Okay, I get you have never done Jury Duty before, and the new experience is scary. Where to go? Where to wait? What to bring? What to say? And so on. The biggest thing is just showing up at the right address at the right time - there is no rule about what you have to wear either.

Show up for jury duty. There is no guaratee that you will be put on a trial. Even so, it could be something lasting a few hours. And I think you get five bucks for it. BETTER THAN $800 OF DEBT to put yourself in chains.

I think if you just show up and tell the judge..

"im feeling a bit unstable today and if you put
me on a jury I may kill myself..

he will let you go

If he doesnt you may need to drop the "B" word.
After being tazered, thoroughly strip searched and
booked for criminal mischief, I guarentee you will
get out of jury duty

Please don't kill yourself over jury duty. I understand that you are freaking out about it but it would be stupid to kill yourself over something like that.

It's not just jury duty that made me want to kill myself. It's not like I all of a sudden decided to. I was supposed to have done it years ago. I was still a kid when I first tried offing myself. That's not supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to be thinking about dying. I don't know what was wrong with me. It's like I just snapped and I haven't been right since. I went to a shrink a while after that. It didn't help at all. She just said I was fine. Like, yeah, a kid trying to kill themself is perfectly normal.

I'm not sure anymore if I have AS. When I found out about AS I was a little relieved that maybe there was finally an explanation why I am the way I am and that there was finally people I could actually relate to, but at the same time I still feel a little off. I use the term crazy to describe myself since I'm not sure what the heck is my problem. I know if I say I'm crazy I couldn't really be crazy. I'm just tired of feeling like this and not knowing why. And if I go to a shrink again they'll probably just be like that other one and just tell me I'm fine, which for most people would probably be great but that wouldn't explain anything for me and it would just make me seem like I'm trying to make something be wrong with me, therefore making me crazy...It's just like when I go to the doctor and they can never seem to find why I'm in pain or whatever I go for, as if I'm making that up too. So going through that crap just makes me feel like no one can really help me, like it's up to me to find out what's wrong with me and how I can make myself better.

I'm not sure what it is about jury duty that made me freak out so bad. When I got the notice I just sat and stared at it for about thirty minutes. I was just like I cannot believe it. It was like another horrible sign that it's time for me to grow up. I'm already having to deal with the stress of having to finally find a job, school, and being pressured to learn to drive and then this comes along. I've always freaked out bad over little stuff like this. It's just back in school. I'd be like this at the beginning of every single year. I'd kick, scream, and beg not to make me go. I can't really do that this time though. I am a little worried about getting left there alone. My mom will have to take me but then if I get picked for jury I'm worried she'll get impatient like always and leave me there by myself and then I'll really start freaking out or what if she can't come in with me at all.

I've listened to other people complain about jury duty before and I'd always think it didn't seem so bad, but that changed when I actually got it. I'm trying not to worry about it now. I'm feeling a little better right now. I think I was just really stressed out about a couple of different things yesterday when I wrote that. Right before I wrote that I just got yelled at again about how I need to learn to grow up and before that I had to deal with my stupid phone problem again so I was already hating myself.

Well, anyway thanks for all the replies.

Using a Mental Institution to get out of Jury Duty is pretty extreme. If you can convincingly say something ridiculous like "Women don't ever make up domestic violence complaints" or "I think the Government puts innocent people away everyday just because they can", and keep a straight face then you will not make it through the voir dere portion of the selection process. I have served on two juries, in the first case the defendant was convicted and received a 22 year 4 month sentence, I sleep fine because I didn't tell him to try and murder his wife. In the second case charges related to misdemeanor domestic violence threats and restraining order violation were tossed out and the defendant was aquitted in less than 30 minutes. The prosecution had come far short of their required burden of proof, their complaining witness appeared too be lying about two major parts of the complaint, the entire jury agreed on this! Also there was no other evidence besides the statements of the not credible plaintiff.