April 2nd..... Why April 2nd?

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Last year in september my mother ended her own life, She was in a very low point in her life, and for that I'm constantly sad about, not so much that she took her own life but that before the incident I thought very low about her, and now not only am I filled with grief, but I'm also filled with guilt.

April 2nd was her birthday, the feeling was bizarre, not needing to call her out of obligation.
I've been so depressed since the 2nd, I'm so glad the week-end is coming up, I'll be able to try taking my mind off of it, but still..... it hurts,

I'm wondering now, I'm not asking to make anyone feel obligated, however, if a parent or loved one has passed away, Is it normal to feel this.... empty on their birthday?
I just want to know I'm not alone, and I'm not overreacting to this whole thing...

It can be normal to feel most kinds of things when someone important to you dies. Anything from hurt, anger, emptiness, loss, relief and other things too.

It also takes a long time to come to terms with a death, anything from a couple of years to a decade. It takes how long it takes in whatever form it takes.

The anniversaries are always hard and I don't know if its best if they all come together or they are spaced out throughout the year.

I now try to do something positive on the days that are most memorable; that helps me, maybe that might help you too.

Have you considered joining a support group for survivors of a suicide? I am sure there is one in your community. Your mother's actions were not your fault and it will take alot of time to heal the extreme hurt, sorrow and anger you feel over her decision to leave you.

In actuality, suicide is a selfish act. Yet, those who choose to end their lives fail to realize, in the moment, the devastation their actions will have on their loved ones. Seek counseling.

My dad committed suicide when I was your age, after a long and agonizing battle with lung cancer (smokers, pay attention).

While those anniversaries and birthdays never pass without some sorrow, in time the raw pain wears off, and you can have something more like normal memories, and even a sense of peace.

The guilt smoothes out in time, too, but it'll probably take a few years.

My mother gets sad every year around the day that would have been my grandfathers birthday.

So you aren't alone.

I'm sorry that your mother committed suicide. That must be horrible to think about.

My high school sweetheart passed away a year ago (please don't drive while drinking...just a reminder!), and it still hurts. The hardest part was when Heath Ledger passed away...all that stuff reminded me of Roger because he'd left a small child with his fiance the same way that Ledger had. It's little things like that that make me sad.

Hang in there. We're here for you.