the nature of happiness (why i hate emotions)

Post Reply New Topic

there is a huge gap between what i feel and what i do, there is the person who goes out into the world and the raging ball of humanity that confuses the hell out of me

i haven't been happy on both emotional and conscious levels for as long as i can remember
examples:
putting on an album, cracking a beer and reading a book makes me happy but i still feel empty

kissing my old girlfriend made me insanely nervous but it felt right

i was still smiling when she broke up with me cus i was enjoying spending time with her


anyone else feel like this sometimes?

I believe there's a reason for everything we feel, physically as well as mentally. If you've got a chest pain, there's a reason for it that can be found by medical tests and treated. If you feel inexplicably good or bad about something that happens to you, there must be a reason for that too. It might not be a reason you like; once you start analysing your feelings (with or without professional help - I've managed without so far), you may find out you're not as good a person as you'd like to believe. But if you want to be happy, if you want to maximize your happiness, you have to get to the bottom of your feelings, and arrange your life accordingly.

I know nothing about you, but here are some suggestions: Perhaps "putting on an album, cracking a beer and reading a book" doesn't really make you happy at all, you've only been taught to believe so, and you'd actually be happier breeding snails or playing paintball. And perhaps you enjoy problematical situations because they make you feel more alive; in which case you might perhaps make a good social worker. I don't think any of us are doomed to be at the mercy of incomprehensible emotions. Identify them, adjust your life to what you find, and you may not feel so empty anymore.

I do, and I think I know where you're coming from. You used the word "empty." I have felt that way often. It's a spiritual sort of emptiness, right?

Here, I think, it's a question of needs. Abraham Maslow's Hierarcy of Needs. Once your basic & immediate physical needs are met, then what demands attention are the much harder to define "happiness" and "fulfillment / self-actualization."

i agree but sorta in reverse, i do feel like ive been taught that being alone is awe full even though im physically comfortable and mentally stimulated. i am trying to find new interests, though i never get anywhere
i really dont enjoy problematical situations, it was more like even though i was uncomfortable i loved her, then the latter was both vaguely pleasant and soul crushing so that i wasn't able to enjoy either one
i certanly hope so

partly spiritual, its like ive surrounded myself with good things that are just a shell while im sitting on top of where all the certainty and satisfaction should be trying to figure out what the crap is going on
that is pretty interesting, i think im lacking in the safety and love/belonging

thank you both, you have helped allot with some decisions i don't want to make

I'm glad to be of help.

I think a major problem is that people assume what makes themselves happy also makes the majority of people happy. People tend to think everyone’s mind is a blank slate and so happiness is all in how we react to things. I can only conclude that this notion is false. The fact that so many people believe it is the most aggravating thing to me.

The truth is we are all different by nature. What makes one person happy may never make a different person happy. To find happiness everyone has to find their own way. There’s no one size that fits all.

You have to find happiness, it doesn't just appear.

Yes, I understand what your saying and do feel like this ALL THE TIME. I haven't been happy in a long time.

I believe, that the feeling of emptiness a person gets is because they haven't found something that makes them happy. Sure, you may enjoy reading, but it may not make you happy, probably only relax you.
You need to find something that triggers passion, excitement and fun all in one...I believe that combination would make someone happy.