"20 things not to say to me when I'm upset"-- add

Post Reply New Topic

1. "Write down your problems and then rip up or burn the paper it's written on. You'll feel so much better!"

No. Once I rip up or burn the paper my problems go right back into me because nobody knows about them and they'll continue to make me miserable if I don't actually bring it to the attention of the people causing them.


2. "Get over it."


EDIT: I erased "STFU" and added this instead:
Sometimes to forgive people, though, you have to bring up all the issues with them. Letting it go just like that only makes it come up later. Delayed reaction, delayed trauma, whatever. If you live long enough, it will come up again, because it's there in your head all the time, even if it's not being visited. It could manifest itself as a depression, a paranoia, hallucinations, bad dreams, delusions, anything. Sometimes we can only move on after we've vomited. If we keep it in, just "forget about having swallowed the poison", it goes further in, into the blood, and further in, and it gets right to the organs, the brain and everything, and kills you. Sometimes you have to vomit before you can feel better.


3. "Everyone has problems. They deal with them."


A lot of them don't. The ones that do deal with them in all the wrong ways, which don't help at all. Like suggestion #1 above this one.


4. "It's not happening anymore. You can be relieved and happy now!"

It could happen again, or to someone else. I need to prevent it from happening again, or to someone else.


5. "Pray to God to take it away."

Cummon, I'm waiting!!1 Hmm, maybe God wants me to help myself take the problem away, partially by bringing other people's attention to it so they know not to do it or that they don't have to let it happen to them.


6. "It's your attitude that stinks, not the problem you had or have."

My attitude is the "make sure it never happens again to me or to someone else" attitude. How is that bad? Can you teach me a good, diplomatic, positive way to better explain that to people, how this happened or was done to me and it shouldn't have happened or been done to me, and why, I'd be grateful.


7. "Think of something happy."


The happy thing I'm thinking about is getting rid of my problem and having it never happen again to me or anyone else and livign happily ever after and understanding each other and thus how to treat each other.


8. "Read a book or take some drugs or watch a movie or remember a favorite memory or go to a club and you'll feel better."

One thing doesn't do it. For example, drugs.
And then the drugs will wear off. And then I'll need new ones. Then I'll have taken them all, they don't work for me, so I need to stay on one and take more and more. So you can see how that alone doesn't work; I also need other stimulation!

Now, maybe I'd feel better if I read a book AND watched a movie AND went to a club AND took some drugs AND remembered a favorite memory. But one thing alone won't do it.


9. "Just tell a friend about it."

I have a lot to tell my friend if that's the case. He'll probably get tired of my bitching for 14 days straight, about 8 hours a day, because that's how long it will take to get it all out. Then I'll have the added problem of losing a friend or having a friend bored with me or mad at me or whatever. He's not a friend? Well, friends are hard to find then.


10. "Tell a therapist about it."


They're probably in it for the pay.

Add yours!

11. "Stop whining and go out and do something about it to help people."


I'm whining to make people aware of issues... to help people who might have the same problems I am, as well as to help me. Again, if there's a better way I can talk about s**t without sounding like s**t please let me know.

12. You are flipping out over nothing. Wrong, Can't you see that there are over 100 things I am upset about, been good about not bugging you with every last thing, but this one thing is the final straw and I simply can't take it any more!

I LOVE THAT! That should be a sig!

"I'm sure things will get better soon".

I hate that as i know things wont get better soon!! !

15. Yes, I understand but,

No! Don't say but! You are just minimizing my problem. Your not even really listening. You don't have to agree with what I have to say, just say Uh-huh or SHUT UP!

_________________
Sanity is Overated
If ANYONE on WP needs someone to talk to, just send me a PM. I have tons of free time, and like helping people.

Please delete (sorry computer is stupid)

_________________
Sanity is Overated
If ANYONE on WP needs someone to talk to, just send me a PM. I have tons of free time, and like helping people.

16. Look on the bright side,

How about looking on the bright side of your a$$ after I kick it!!
You wouldn't say that if it happened to you!! !

"If you didn't have such a negative attitude, then you wouldn't have [problem X]" - when [problem X] is the exact thing preventing me from having a "positive enough" attitude to life. That leads straight to ABSOLUTE despair, and is the cruellest irony possible because it means that the ONLY way to get [life goal X] is... to have [life goal X] already.

For some reason (most) NTs don't seem to see it that way...

17. It'll all be over soon

When is soon? It's not soon enough!! !

You've got to make yourself happy.

"I can't pay attention/believe/want to listen to what you're saying when you're crying/upset/screaming."

Okay. Then pay attention THE FIRST TIME and we won't get to that point.
Jerk.

"Can't you get over it and move on?"

No, I can't . I've listened to you b***h about your problems for the last hour/week/month, how about listening to mine for 5 minutes?

"I can't help you"/"I can't do anything"

Gee, thanks for helping me feel even MORE helpless than I already feel.

you are making a mountain out of a molehill (exageration)

I am not blowing it out of proportion dammit.

you are not the only one with problems in the world.

i know that. don't heap on the guilt ontop of the guilt that i already feel. I just need someone to help me once it a while. is that a dam crime?.


(luckily the people i know don't lay the above s*%t on me)