The fairy tale is just that

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So, ever thought of getting a job, a wife and kids? A family sort of thing? I just noticed that in order to fulfill that sort of fate I would need to go over quite a bunch of improbable things.

The Job, uh it sounds to me that in this hell hole, you need connections to get a job, you need connections to last in a job, and you need active socialization with your peers as well . I just would despise myself If I ever end up using connections, but besides of that, I actually have no connection, as in at all. I think I've been like 10* years in college and I still don't have a single friend, I don't want to face my highschool friends either, because they have all just beaten college with no issue and it is embarrassing, then again there are only five guys there that I consider my friends.

Then there's the wife and kids part of it, first I need to meet a girl, then date her, make her my girlfriend, then fiance then marry her. I see even the first item of the list as unlikely as heck, and the remaining ones are just less probable. Even so, I doubt I would actually get any time or patience to do that dating stuff, right now I have no social life, and no job but still college manages to take away all the time I got.

Let's say I actually manage to get a family, how the hell am I going to take the whole being a father deal? And if I do will the marriage last at least 3 years? How am I gonna socialize with other parents or take school board meetings?

Man, it is absolutely crazy out there! I just made a decision, I will just focus on algorithms and stop caring about any other thing, If I just never find a real job that might be for the better, it looks like CS people out there just get paid to make tools to make the suits' life easier, and I find that degrading. If there's a team assignment in a subject I will simply ignore it altogether. If I fail the subject for that I will just try again until that's not necessary or I die. I will just visualize me in the future as doing exactly what I do right now instead of following generic fairy tales. I guess that's going to work.

The sad thing is that this January the first my mom told me that she'd like me to get a girlfriend this year so I do not end up alone. It is sad and all, but I just don't think that's possible.

* This number is higher than the real one.

ya' don't get a girlfriend because your mom tells ya' to.

I'm afraid it won't be that way for me too.

Half of the time I spent unemployed I did so refusing to accept help from any of my father's connections (I have none myself) - then, after that, I settled with horrible jobs thanks to those connections.

Also, meeting a girl that won't think I'm a creep for not having a social life seems a tad hard; I'm completely disjointed from my social class, belonging to none.

Even if I were to somehow succeed in the dating game, how long will it take to happen?. I've only had one relationship so far - people normally go through many before they can settle.
So far, my income is barely enough to keep myself going - my parents still pay a couple of my bills and anything extra like holidays or car maintenance. How could I possible arrange things so as to raise a child?
I have a window of like 10 years to get my life together - except that 10 years ago I was in a much better situation and all that happened is that my life went downhill.

My mother also whines and meddles with things that are none of her business. She even took the trouble to find out the name of my ex-girlfriend and bring it up in unrelated conversations in front of anyone. She whines: I want a graaandsooonn, pleeeease. She's a rambling, one-side, incoherent, invasive thing - the only way to stop her is to cut communications altogether or actively sabotage them in a psychotically hateful way once she's already started; and even then, it's usually too late, as she handles any kind of reply by just raising the volume and speed of her monologues to trample over whatever the other person is saying.

One thing I don't understand is how my parents don't get into their heads that I'll never be anything in my life. What worked for my father has failed to work for me from the start; first soccer, then a religious schooling, then a career and a company full of people I can't even look at if I am to digest my food. He denies it, but he only advocated in favour of his own profession even when I had initially started something else. He uses circular logic to say that smart competent people are successful - and goes on to say that it's an interesting career and that I'll do just fine when he's having to finance my deficit while I ramble on about being bullied, insomnia, suicide. . .
. . .so I wanted them to help me come up with a B plan in case anything were to happen (as I'm bound to get fired from my job the moment my father dies) but they seem fixated on a fairy tale of success that's it's already not happening - oddly enough, their last line of defense is a threat of poverty; which is what I'm trying to figure out how to tackle in the first place.

I have some special skills, but i am virtually unemployable in a mainstream environment.
I cannot have children.
I am capable of sustaining long-term relationships, but not without an extreme amount of dysfunction.
I probably never will marry.
Sometimes I envision my fairytale as being living alone in a little room with just cable, musical equipment and sewing supplies, and maybe a couple of friends who come around occasionally who understand me and are not un-pleasant to be around.
I could subsist by sewing sock creatures and making t-shirts and other hand-screened items and occasionally play shows.

Right now I am really excited at the prospect of possibly getiing to work with kids in the near future...that would be a fairy-tale sorta job for me...

Also emember that even for most NTs the fairytale never works out the way they think it will. Look at the high divorce rate for one thing. Also the lack of job security these days etc. And even when people get these things they still have problems like everyone else. The psychology of happiness is a very interesting topic. Personally I'd rather do what makes me happy than be a sheep.

Hey get out there and give things ago. Do the best you can.

If you fail don't worry about it or beat yourself up over it.

Sounds like you want certain things, so why not try and get them. Also try not to think negatively about things.

You're not going to be able to do everything at once; "normal" people have problems with this. Take it in steps, and focus on the now; it's probably good to have an overall plan, but it's not good to fixate on the details, as when you do this the present will probably suffer, and you'll make the fixations into fears and doubts as it all overwhelms you.

People with ASDs are like insects, highly specialised over that part or that piece, but not so good at doing everything at once.