My in-depth analysis and review of 12 step groups

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I just finished what my sponsor called the biggest part of the 12 steps, tentative Step 4-7
"Made a fearless searching moral inventory of ourselves, admitted to god ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs, became willing to have all our defects removed, asked god to remove our defects, yadayadayada"

I did feel different after I told this guy everything I had ever done wrong as well as everything thats creepy and unreal (yes weird sexual things I had to tell him about as well). Now, he is a youngster, my age, 23, and honestly, after I finish the remaining steps with him, I might be looking for a new sponsor. I have noticed that I am less bitter, the world seems much clearer to me, but the reality is, my sponsor is just like anyone else, and I was seeing him as somewhat of a neo-god like figure (as I saw everyone when I first joined AA cause they all seemed spiritual and stary-eyed to me, which I have lots of respect for).

When it comes down to it though, I'm realizing that they are just as human as me, that their defects are glaringly obvious when you hang around them long enough. As someone with HFA, I've been hanging around Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous for a good year and a half now, I've seen and heard horrible things, the very bottom of the barrel of human existence as well as the very top. But I still don't fit-in.

I'm not the only one either. I joined a few DnD games while at AA, this one guy I hung around with was pretty eccentric, and now he doesn't go to AA anymore. Another guy I joined a DnD game with, he claims he doesn't fit in as well. Though I can't prove it, I believe that there are certain people at these groups that get mocked for being different (whether or not they're actively recovering). Any social environment is hostile and competetive, and principles do not override personalities.

However, the 12 steps and all the stories, they have helped me, I developed social skills beyond what I normally deemed possible. I am rehabilitated, I brush my teeth and take my medicine every morning and I'm sober. So, if you have a substance abuse problem, you can get help here. My opinion though, if you have HFA, you should probably ignore the whole "brotherhood, you'll be hanging around these people for years, my sponsor is like my new father" Now that I'm no longer out of my mind from the substances and things seem clearer, I'm gonna try and join some local DnD games and see if I can fit in. God's on my side, lets see what he can do.

I did NA for a few years before I got sick of the BS. Aside from not wanting to hug everyone just for existing there was the people with more time than me who always said to follow the recommendations at every meeting. Two of these picked up on and married women with less tan a year clean time. Various other things, like a guy with a restraining order whining about it in the meeting and getting the applause instead of the kick in the ass that he warranted. He looked shocked when I told him "Maybe you should stop acting like a stupid f***ing psycho" instead of buying into his sob story. I met a few people in that program that I still see now and again, but overall the NA program has too many whiners, losers and liars for me to want to be around them.