When do things get better?

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Thinking about the future just makes me depressed.
I just can't see how life is going to get better for me.
I've been living on the brink of being broke for over a month now. I'm not going to bother using my car anymore because it costs me too much to keep using it. Fueling it is way too much of an expense for me and fixing recent problems with it was far out of my capability to deal with. My dad covered the cost of getting it fixed... I don't really mind the help, but a part of me doesn't like my parents having to bail me out on stuff like this. They help get it fixed and I'm not going to drive it anymore. I want to use the family bug now because it uses a lot less fuel. This situation just feels off...
I don't know what to do about my job situation. It's an alright job, but of course it just doesn't pay enough. I don't really want more hours, I want a better pay rate. I keep thinking about trying for a new job, but I don't like to change... and I can't find anything that sounds suitable. I want a good(more than $10 an hour) pay and little customer service. Good god, good luck trying to find something like that. Any job I find like that requires a degree or previous experience. Then all that's left is crappy service jobs with low wages. I've been doing retail/service for almost ten years now and I'm just getting so tired of it. I'm just not a people person. My strength has always been in creating, building and getting things done... not dealing with customers, not answering the phone, not doing meetings. Thing is, I have no specific talent in any technical skill... I can learn a skill easily, but nobody is going to hire and teach me. Got to go back to school for that... but I have no money for school anymore.
It's a no-win situation. I can't see out of this. I can't make enough to get out of the house or afford a good college education without working to death a job I'll hate which will take up all my time so I can't go to school anyway. When the hell did this get all f****d up like this?
I can't save any money cause everything dollar gets sucked up by basic necessities.
And I don't even want to get started on the whole lack of a GF issue...

I swear, when, how are things ever going to get better? I can't figure it out. My mind is just so different that I have to struggle incredibly to do things the way normal people do. How I am suppose to survive in this climate? I don't have the capability to compete the way NTs do and get what I want through social connections. Thinking about this stuff just makes me want to find a way to kill myself. Really, I'd be saving myself a lot of misery by escaping all this uncertainty. I hate to think of myself as freeloading off my parents, but really, that's the way it's been. I don't know how to get out of this.
I keep thinking about coming out about my aspergers, but I still quite figured out how I want to it. I could get a diagnosis, therapy, CBT or whatever... but again, it's money I don't have, so what's point of bothering?

sigh...

Know what I'd like to do? Sell all the stuff I have, gather all my money. Then use that money to travel the world, see the stuff I want to see, do things, explore.... When I run out, I die. I would have the best time of my life.

Okay... long rant over. Cookies for those who read all that.

can't your parents pay for your education? or maybe you can take a student loan.

They've already paid their share as far as I'm concerned.

Hmm... student loans=debt. Not something I'm comfortable with but still a possibility...

I did that. It was great. All except the dying part. I was figuring that would be the final scene, but it didn't end up happening. Dying is something I'm guaranteed anyway, so it's not like I missed my only chance.

If you're thinking about killing yourself anyway. Doing something like this might be worth seriously considering.

I didn't leave the US. I'm not suffering from a shortage of humanity, and when it comes to the non-human world, beauty every direction you look, it would be hard to beat the North American West.

Don't know how your inclinations run, but if they're anything like mine, you can make your money last a long time. As long as you stay out of campgrounds, you can camp for free on public land and have something a lot nicer to look at then walls and a ceiling. Your housing budget is limited to propane for your cookstove, about three bucks a week. Basic groceries are pretty cheap too.

Personally, I can't see any point in getting a diagnosis. What am I gonna do, tell a perspective employer I can explain why they don't like me and expect them to start enjoying my company?

I never got nothing for the time and money I put into education. Some people do; I never did.



Me too, and I ended up with a job doing exactly that. It's considered low status, but I don't care much about that. Creating, building and getting things done is all I do all day, and my lack of personal magnetism is irrelevant.

It's possible for good things to happen, and even an aspie can get lucky once in a while. If you don't need much, it doesn't take much. Best wishes to you.

What if it winter and cold then? you cant sleep outside when its cold right?

you could try applying for financial aid

There is always hiking too, it fun to escape from humanity and visit our birthplace