treated like crap in chat

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I havent been able to post here since before Xmas because i feel too angry and sad about how i was treated. I feel so stupid and bad about myself whenever i try to post or chat here. I have been volunteering at a church-run saturday centre playgroup for ASD kids the past 3 months. I just wasnted to ask question of people here to see if they could help me with things i ran into. A poster called silph just attacked me when ever i went into chat and whatever i said. any question i asked he jsut attacks me, as if ive done something terrible for just asking a question or wording it wrong or whatever.
I dont know why people are doing this to me here. because you know I have AS and i dont cope very well a lot of the time. and I know I can do well helping at the group, everyone says I have been a big help since i joined. My group leader saw me last week and said that i have really helped one boy (who is mosty mute) to open up and enjoy it there more by being patient and playing his games etc. an another said I was a calming influence on all the kids and they dopnt want to be as hyper when i'm around to give them time. But i cant help wondering that theyre all lying. If I'm so good working there, why cant i get anyone here to at least treat me like a human being, or with any basic respect? i feel here that i am less than human and not good enough to be an aspie or Nt. and that people here are the honest ones and tell me what i really am.
I dont think i could ever post anymore here so thats it

Tom,

I'm sorry that happened to you. I don't do chat much and that is the reason why...sometimes people act like idiots. I'll pass this along to Alex. Maybe he needs more ops in there. Even if you quit chat, I hope you will continue posting on the forums.

I'm sure you are wonderful with the children. There is no reason to doubt that at all. Good for you for being such a positive effect.

BeeBee

sorry to hear that tom.
i had a good friend here who stopped for the same reason. when he stopped posting i struggled with whether i should stay because i felt vulnerable to such attacks.
i learned to ignore people who say stupid things. the people engaged in attacking me and my ideas have no relationship with me. therefore their attacks are lies. i do not converse with liars. i am not sure these folks targeted me. sometimes it felt that way. i did notice a decrease in their stalking me when i started ignoring them.
i may have had more experience with this than you. having brown skin leaves one open to all sorts of unwarranted attacks, and i am used to ignoring them.
however, ignoring them does not mean it doesn't hurt, and thus i am condemned to a life of pain. nonetheless i live and am happy.
this may not help you but i wanted you and everyone else to know that i know how you feel and that you are not alone.
feel free to pm me if you have any questions. ask others on the forum if you wonder if i am a reasonable person.

the thread i started when wondering if i should stay was titled fleeing the invasion of wrong planet. it was in september. you might peruse it to see what people thought. my friend's username was deepthought. he has not posted since then.

i consider it a great loss when people leave for these reasons.
i will be sorry to see you leave.

I was wondering where you and your super-hero alter ego — Renegade — had got too. I can't see any reason why you shouldn't post here, I don't ever recall you saying anything stupid (amusing yes, stupid no), or unpleasant. I think it's important to remember that some of us with AS can seem like we're attacking people, and being unpleasant; but we don't mean it to come over like that. If you think someone is singling you out for harsh words, and they have AS also, then perhaps just explain, briefly, how it makes you feel, and they may listen.

I would expect they're being honest about how well you deal with the kids. People tend to stay fairly serious about that kind of thing, and probably wouldn't lie in order to make you feel better.

Anyway, I know I can sound harsh with people sometimes, but I think you're OK Tom, and should post here again.

Tom! Welcome back! I missed you! How's your bass-playing these days? Between you and I, most of our comings and goings on WP have been about music. It is great to hear that you are doing some good with children faced with unique challenges. I hope you see some joy in the benefit you are providing the mute guy and I hope you find a joy that eclipses any pockets of nastiness here on this planet.

I didn't know who was Renegade til just now.

Sorry to hear you had such a bad time on WrongPlanet. I was a fan of Renegade and I see that you're a bass player (like me) so that's cool also. I hope you will stay here.

that's awful, tom.

i really hope you don't leave WP. and your work with the kids sounds amazing - bloody well done, you.

just to let you know - the mods are on the case re: the chatroom - BeeBee brought it up.

have a cyber hug from me.

Vivi

Thank you very much all I appriciate it. Neuroman I did have your "invasion" thread on my favourites list at the time actually, I was enjoying reading that.

The trouble is I know I over react, but if people are nice to me 100 times, and some upests me once, Ill always remember the time i was upset instead of the good times.
I know theres too sides to every story and everything, but I do genuinely think I was treated unfairly in chat.

The thing that presses on my mind is that sometimes I dont think people on here realise that the people theyre attacking on here arent all "NT bullies" but humans who have problems, just the same as they do. I wish that, before they put someone down, they could stop to think "is this person having a hard time right now, could I be more understanding".

oh do stay. I didnt know you were renegade. Oh how i enjoyed those discussions and debates on earlier forums. You really are cool ya know!

DO NOT go in the chat room if you feel at all vulnerable, is my experience. That place is NOT a supportive environment!! ! ((It always makes me feel worse if I didn't feel pretty damned good to being with))

Then why does it continue? Sorry but I thought this site was suppose to be a resource for Aspies, not a place to be bullied.

I only went to chat once. I didn't stay long because I didn't know how to engage anyone and no one seems interested in talking to me. I didn't see the kind of abuse that Tom reports, but that upsets me because that not the first time I've heard of such things.

I understand about overreacting. I'm hypersensitive to bullying too, especially the passive-aggressive mind-f*** kind of bullying that manifests as self-righteousness, religious or otherwise. I hate it, hate it, hate it when anyone says something that implies you ought to be ashamed of what you said or have done based on their own personal views, opinions or religion. It's psychological bullying at it's most finessed and it's more vicious than it appears on the surface. The first time I encountered it here, I almost didn't come back. I had never encountered that at any other AS forum, and figured it was sign I shouldn't be here. But instead, I decided if I see it, I will risk being unpopular by saying something. I am not going to let that alone drive me from here.

if we are nice to you 101 times will you stay?
agree with not going to chat when vulnerable. chat goes too fast for me and i have had too many bad experiences being impulsive in conversation. also too fast to follow. and that was a chat where people took turns.

Tom, I don't know you because I started around the time you stopped, but I really want to commend you for having the courage to say something, and I hope you are reconsidering your decision to leave WP.

I agree with what a lot of people are saying - I've almost left because some people made me feel so bad, but I decided the benefits outweigh the problems. A lot of the posts in this thread have a lot of wisdom.

While everyone is not 100% supportive all the time, I find there is enough of a community to make it worth it.

Hope to see you stay.

Not to sound like a knowitall, but I react the same way. It's always the upsetting times that I can recall. I haven't been around in the chat of much because sometimes I get overwhelmed by the volume and multiple conversations going on. I suggest a while ago because, there are many different types of aspies here, maybe we need multiple chatrooms. I had a case where another user, who wasn't even talking, told me to be quiet. I mean, maybe there needs to be a Light chatroom, a Serious chatroom and perhaps a Quiet chatroom for the people who don't want to talk?. It's nice to hear from you again and I can't get over how many people didn't realise you were Renegade. Will you don the mask again soon?

Thank you everyone for being supportive of me. To be honest, I get worried about this place sometimes, not for myself, but for others. I don't want the rudeness of some members to set another WillFreund off the deep end. Especially when we can help each other so much when we try instead of making things worse for each other.

The chatroom can be so boring anyway,,,you see conversations like "I just cooked dinner" "what is it?" "mushrooms" "i like mushrooms" "mushrooms are nice". I feel I have to make an effort to force myself to communicate with groups when theyre boring me so much. I think I'll just stick to forums from now on.

Tom

Welcome back I hope You stay too.

I have been in the chat room sometimes, I more times than not it can be very boring to Me.

I hope to see You in the forums too.