MY WRITING! PLEASE LOOK AND COMMENT!

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Do any of you get lost in your own mind? Walking through the fog of your thoughts and memorys cursing your every being. Constantly over thinking, acting the only way you KNOW you'll be safe. Maybe thats what puts you in danger.

You drive while those who hurt you are tailing you like fresh meat; "put the petal to the metal". You feel that needle in your heart going down towards your stomach as if it were a hachet ready to chop you in two, "I'm scared". "I will drive naturally while I think of the safest plan to save me from this ever lasting pain." It's fogging up agian, your mind calls you a waste of body mass, telling you to die right on this spot to rid the world of your stupidity and hopes of finding a way out of your own hell, your own self. Those who chase you are yourself. You only want to die when you tell yourself this. You, you, you.

Stop; you see the stop sign right away. You only want to stop, reach a different point for escape. Incapabile of freedom, you are forced to speed right by this sign telling you to stop and see that paradise; utophia you've been searching for.


"I am hurting those around me, my over thinking. It never turns out correctly. Social Darwinism, what the f**k is this for people like me? People as weak and brittel like an older tree living in his nature for so long, was so strong and is not beaten down by time. Are we all meant to be beaten by time and the people around us? 'Only the strong survive.' Why am I not dead yet?"

Mi amor! (In that snazzy italian way, nothing more).

I completely sympathize. If your piece did not otherwise convince me that you have your own life to deal with, I'd tell you to get out of my head before I sick my overanalyzed past on you.

I remember every faux pas I make, and years later go up to the people and apologize. They tell me they don't even remember, and I have to apologize again for bringing up things from the past. Then that creates an awkward pause... ... ... and then it'll happen all over again next tiem I feel particularly guilty.

If I were to say to not live in the safe path that you calculate for yourself, I would be a hypocrit. What I will say is that I agree with PR on the note that you count too. Not all the time, not all the time; but you will eventually be flooded with impulses, and will have to choose whether you'd rather be followed by your errors or your regrets.

Something I have realized as of late is that the overthinking is what turns them into the demons. Humans are so much shallower than we give them credit for. We inflate them to the size of giants, and then wonder how anyone -- as much as ourselves -- can do to outrun them. And yet if you follow that logic long enough, you'll hit a text book definition of AS inability to read social cues. Granted, that's what the overthinking is quite possibly doing, except that you may be overreading. And I would never accuse you of that if I wasn't suspicious that I was doing the same thing. Take it as you want, this is hit or miss advice whether you trust that my words have any chance at merit.

I applaud your banana phone subtext

It ain't just about the strong surviving, or there wouldn't be any living things on earth except strong amoebas and strong single celled algae.

Look around you. Every life form that you see started out as a defect, a weird variant that turned out to have something nobody else did. There were defects on the defects and variants on the variants and what you see is the living world around you with tigers and whales and elephants and redwood trees.

Turn that mind loose and let it run.

i often get lost in anger and regret, sometimes self pity,
then i cry it out, and cry some more...it's a vicious cycle that never ends