in fed up

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at being scared and anxious every time i have to do something out of the ordinary.

The ordinary meaning something that i do day to day .. like go to the shops or similar.

Just gets me down being frightened about everything

It would be easier to help if you gave specific examples. But why don't you take small steps like trying to do things that are slightly out of your routine but still very similar.

If I were in your position, I would just leap forward and do something totally different. Make it a goal to change yourself first.

Like i have to give a presentation to 30 ppl in london on the 10th Sept.

Not only am i scared of the presentation itself but also the travel to the location.

Anything out of my power where i cant just turn round and come back at my whim is difficult and scarey.

Also travelling distances in my car say the 60 miles to my mums huse round the m25 cause i dont want to get stuck i a jam and have to sit there for hours feeling anxious

I think many aspies have fears of presenting in front of a public. Just do it and don't worry. You'll find that it really isn't that bad. Or at least whenever I was afraid of doing something in front of others, I would think about how it doesn't really matter what they think of me and they don't understand what I am doing to really judge or make fun of me. If you are getting anxiety over this, you may need to see a professional.